I Love Living at Home
Just kidding. Okay, you know, I don't have to pay rent and I don't have to buy groceries, but I am nagged constantly and there aren't very many fruits or vegetables to eat. Just meat. Lots of nasty, polluted meat. And the water is soooo cold. I hate cold water.
I'm so unbelievably frustrated right now. Still no job. I have been taking out my frustrations on any weddings happening this summer. Jealous? No, you stupid fuckwit. Let me spell this one out for you: I A-M P-O-O-R. I have no money to buy stupid dresses, get my hair fixed, split the cost for the bride's ticket on a lame-ass riverboat ride while also paying for my own, or buying stupid wedding gifts. Explain this one to me: Why the hell does a person who DOES NOT DRINK and who looks down on her lush cousin need expensive stemware? Expensive is $19.99 PER GOBLET THAT WILL NEVER BE BRIMMING WITH DELICIOUS WINE. Blah blah blah, she's a Katrina victim. Fuck you. Katrina victims who don't drink don't need fucking goblets. I bought her washcloths instead. I know she will use those, even if the color scheme is loud and slightly tacky.
In other news, I spoke with my cousin's fiance. I will describe his voice as...hmmm...well, if he sings, he must be a tenor. Anyway, the conversation went something like this:
Me: Oh, is this Wes?
eHarmony fiance she's known under a year: Yes.
Me: Oh, this is Wendy's cousin Meghann.
eHarmony fiance who is a geologist and wears old glasses: Yeah, I've heard so much about you.
Me: Oh? Uh...well, I, uh, don't drink so much anymore...I'm sober now...
eHarmony fiance I feel bad for judging but whom I never met: Well, she never really mentioned that.
Me: Oh...Well, enough about my sobriety...Uh, just have Wendy call me. I have a question about jewelry.
I keep running this in my mind: My parents met on a blind date, they were engaged the following Monday, had a ring that Thursday, and were married three months later. Wendy met Wes via eHarmony, which apparently does not let you see the person until after a vigorous screening, in October, they were engaged by early February and are getting married June 17th...This does not change the fact that he is a taller, "huskier" version of Kip -- glasses and all -- from "Napoleon Dynamite." I guess Wendy is his LaFawnduh.
I'm really nervous about going to New Orleans for this wedding. Captain Obvious alert: I know it's gonna look different. Whatever. It's New Orleans, the ever-changing beast I will always love.
I'm so unbelievably frustrated right now. Still no job. I have been taking out my frustrations on any weddings happening this summer. Jealous? No, you stupid fuckwit. Let me spell this one out for you: I A-M P-O-O-R. I have no money to buy stupid dresses, get my hair fixed, split the cost for the bride's ticket on a lame-ass riverboat ride while also paying for my own, or buying stupid wedding gifts. Explain this one to me: Why the hell does a person who DOES NOT DRINK and who looks down on her lush cousin need expensive stemware? Expensive is $19.99 PER GOBLET THAT WILL NEVER BE BRIMMING WITH DELICIOUS WINE. Blah blah blah, she's a Katrina victim. Fuck you. Katrina victims who don't drink don't need fucking goblets. I bought her washcloths instead. I know she will use those, even if the color scheme is loud and slightly tacky.
In other news, I spoke with my cousin's fiance. I will describe his voice as...hmmm...well, if he sings, he must be a tenor. Anyway, the conversation went something like this:
Me: Oh, is this Wes?
eHarmony fiance she's known under a year: Yes.
Me: Oh, this is Wendy's cousin Meghann.
eHarmony fiance who is a geologist and wears old glasses: Yeah, I've heard so much about you.
Me: Oh? Uh...well, I, uh, don't drink so much anymore...I'm sober now...
eHarmony fiance I feel bad for judging but whom I never met: Well, she never really mentioned that.
Me: Oh...Well, enough about my sobriety...Uh, just have Wendy call me. I have a question about jewelry.
I keep running this in my mind: My parents met on a blind date, they were engaged the following Monday, had a ring that Thursday, and were married three months later. Wendy met Wes via eHarmony, which apparently does not let you see the person until after a vigorous screening, in October, they were engaged by early February and are getting married June 17th...This does not change the fact that he is a taller, "huskier" version of Kip -- glasses and all -- from "Napoleon Dynamite." I guess Wendy is his LaFawnduh.
I'm really nervous about going to New Orleans for this wedding. Captain Obvious alert: I know it's gonna look different. Whatever. It's New Orleans, the ever-changing beast I will always love.