(no subject)
so im two almost two weeks into school. and so much for not crying. i do it every night. so yeah. i have no idea how i'm going to make it this entire year and i know it's only the second week but i seriously have never been more upset about anything in my life. i have been away for two weeks before with a bunch of people i didn't know, but i handled it just fine. there is something about being here that really takes a toll on me.
and i have been talking to people and i have been not being mean like my usual self, but these people are people that i just don't want to be around, ever. they're like the people from highschool that you talk to all the time in class, but you never want to hang out with them outside of school. you talk to them just to be nice. they're my sasha martinez. and because of them i spend all my time in my room and also because my roommates are never here. there is absolutely nothing to do on the campus. and i would start going to the gym but i dont know. maybe ill start doing that. it's just that when i look foward to coming home two weeks ahead of time that's bad. i should at least want to stay here and get to know the aspects of the school or whatever.
and my classes are fine. i like all my teachers. chem is the only challenge. it's just when my classes are over i am all alone until i fall asleep at night. and i don't want to call the same people everyday and complain about shit, but that's the only outlet i have. everytime i call someone i have to hold back fucking tears. i hate it. and i'm trying to be open and do new things and all, but it's really hard adjusting. and i also know things take time but they usually don't hurt this much.
and i've made up my mind that next year i'm transferring. yss i have to stay the year. but i'm transferring close enough to home where i can commute. i don't like being away from my family and all my friends. and the yesterday i was talking to scott and the first thing he said was he misses home. he lives with his best friend. hes 45 minutes away. and he misses home. now imagine how i feel. not knowing anyone and being three hours away.
and hi travis. miss you friend.
and i have been talking to people and i have been not being mean like my usual self, but these people are people that i just don't want to be around, ever. they're like the people from highschool that you talk to all the time in class, but you never want to hang out with them outside of school. you talk to them just to be nice. they're my sasha martinez. and because of them i spend all my time in my room and also because my roommates are never here. there is absolutely nothing to do on the campus. and i would start going to the gym but i dont know. maybe ill start doing that. it's just that when i look foward to coming home two weeks ahead of time that's bad. i should at least want to stay here and get to know the aspects of the school or whatever.
and my classes are fine. i like all my teachers. chem is the only challenge. it's just when my classes are over i am all alone until i fall asleep at night. and i don't want to call the same people everyday and complain about shit, but that's the only outlet i have. everytime i call someone i have to hold back fucking tears. i hate it. and i'm trying to be open and do new things and all, but it's really hard adjusting. and i also know things take time but they usually don't hurt this much.
and i've made up my mind that next year i'm transferring. yss i have to stay the year. but i'm transferring close enough to home where i can commute. i don't like being away from my family and all my friends. and the yesterday i was talking to scott and the first thing he said was he misses home. he lives with his best friend. hes 45 minutes away. and he misses home. now imagine how i feel. not knowing anyone and being three hours away.
and hi travis. miss you friend.