Issues
I think that there is something in the world that is trying to get me back for whatever wrongs I've done in my past life.
Valentine's Day.
I made Philip a drink that involved strawberries and was very cute and romantic for him and me. There's picture on my facebook if you care to see the presentation. That night goes well for the next couple hours. We end up talking and having a pretty good time. Then about 3 hours into it something snapped in him. He got mad, we got into a fight, and it blew up like crazy. He ended up beating me with a wooden dowel. I cowered and covered and took every hit. His eyes were black. I have marks all along my back, and I have bruises all over. Needless to say, with all the noise someone in our complex called the cops. They show up and arrest us both. Him for Assault, me for a violation of the no contact order.
They ended up dropping the charges on him, and they are charging me. I have yet to call my lawyer but am doing that Monday and hoping that they will have had time to read over the case and perhaps they will be able to help me get this lowered since the deal as it stands now is 60 days in jail.
Until the order is dropped and taken care of I've moved back home to avoid anything further happening. Philip and I have been talking via MSN and the phone for the past couple days. He's going to come up here and see me Saturday night. He's working the best he can to help me get the charges dropped or lowered, but I'm not sure what is going to happen in the long run. In a month I have to go back to court for that.
While he's telling me that he wants to work on what is going on with us as a couple, and see if we can get things back on track. Yet while he's saying these things to me, he has a craigslist posting for people to come over and mess around with him. Which hurts me, but I do understand what sex means to him and why it gets used in this way. Anyway, while talking this afternoon, I checked out what we own on the phone bill since it's past due... while on the site I checked out the call logs and the minutes used and what not as I often due to make sure we're on a good plan and not paying for things we aren't using. While doing this I find out that he's been making many calls and texts to Mike, a person that he claims to hate, yet always comes around while I'm not around. I have a feeling in my head that Mike is there right now, from deducing the call/text times and what not...
I know that nothing emotional is happening with Mike, and that if anything is taking place it's to fill the void that I have left by leaving... But it's still painful to think that Mike, Mike of all fucking people is coming back into this situation.
Yes, there is no real way to bring this up without having a fight, so I don't know what to do. I am going crazy being in this town again, with nothing to do and none of my things and being away from Philip.
I really hate that my life is turning out this way.
UGH!
Valentine's Day.
I made Philip a drink that involved strawberries and was very cute and romantic for him and me. There's picture on my facebook if you care to see the presentation. That night goes well for the next couple hours. We end up talking and having a pretty good time. Then about 3 hours into it something snapped in him. He got mad, we got into a fight, and it blew up like crazy. He ended up beating me with a wooden dowel. I cowered and covered and took every hit. His eyes were black. I have marks all along my back, and I have bruises all over. Needless to say, with all the noise someone in our complex called the cops. They show up and arrest us both. Him for Assault, me for a violation of the no contact order.
They ended up dropping the charges on him, and they are charging me. I have yet to call my lawyer but am doing that Monday and hoping that they will have had time to read over the case and perhaps they will be able to help me get this lowered since the deal as it stands now is 60 days in jail.
Until the order is dropped and taken care of I've moved back home to avoid anything further happening. Philip and I have been talking via MSN and the phone for the past couple days. He's going to come up here and see me Saturday night. He's working the best he can to help me get the charges dropped or lowered, but I'm not sure what is going to happen in the long run. In a month I have to go back to court for that.
While he's telling me that he wants to work on what is going on with us as a couple, and see if we can get things back on track. Yet while he's saying these things to me, he has a craigslist posting for people to come over and mess around with him. Which hurts me, but I do understand what sex means to him and why it gets used in this way. Anyway, while talking this afternoon, I checked out what we own on the phone bill since it's past due... while on the site I checked out the call logs and the minutes used and what not as I often due to make sure we're on a good plan and not paying for things we aren't using. While doing this I find out that he's been making many calls and texts to Mike, a person that he claims to hate, yet always comes around while I'm not around. I have a feeling in my head that Mike is there right now, from deducing the call/text times and what not...
I know that nothing emotional is happening with Mike, and that if anything is taking place it's to fill the void that I have left by leaving... But it's still painful to think that Mike, Mike of all fucking people is coming back into this situation.
Yes, there is no real way to bring this up without having a fight, so I don't know what to do. I am going crazy being in this town again, with nothing to do and none of my things and being away from Philip.
I really hate that my life is turning out this way.
UGH!