drop a heart, break a name
kai/kyungsoo; slight!baekai
pg13; 5.9k; romance; slight!angst
warning: infidelity (very slight)
a/n written for kaisoommer
Jongin usually isn't out this late. He juggles a lot during the day, school, a job, his boyfriend. He’s busy, and by time he’s finished with everything on his schedule he’s exhausted and prefers going home to sleep. This night though, is different.
After working a long shift all he wanted was to go home, maybe call his boyfriend Baekhyun and ask if he wanted to order take out maybe watch a movie, but his co-workers decided to have a day out and insisted Jongin goes since he never hangs out with them.
Jongin works at a family restaurant owned by his friend, Junmyeons family. He works with a couple of other guys who are much too loud in his opinion.
“Come on, Jongin! You never come with us, it’ll be fun.” Lu Han is loud and clingy and impossible to say no to so Jongin goes, if only to shut him up. Sometimes Jongin wonders how someone who is 4 years older than him can be so annoying.
“You’re so annoying,” Jongin states. He wants to make sure Lu Han knows this before pushing him away towards his other co-workers.
The elder laughs and skips away, walking with their other co-workers. It’s only four of them. Lu Han, Junmyeon, Chanyeol, and Jongin so its not like they’re a large group.
Jongin decides to hang back and take in the scenery. They’re walking a bit past the heart of the city, where things seem to get darker and the people walking around keep their eyes to the ground. He realizes, he doesn’t even know where they’re going. Just as he’s about to ask they come to an abrupt stop in front of a dark mahogany door. Theres an obnoxious, giant bubblegum pink sign above it with SUGAR! spelled out in cursive.
“Uh, hyung what is this place?” He questions.
“Don’t worry about it,” Lu Han almost cackles “you’re going to be in for a treat.”
And a treat it is.
They walk in to what Jongin thinks is a club, but hes not completely sure. Its dark and spacey, lights flashing but theres not a large group of people dancing. Instead there are tables in the open space, people sitting at them, all faced toward a big stage. Theres a bar in the back, and what seems to be a second floor from the stairs near it. Their group walks to one of the tables and they sit.
“Chanyeol do you have any idea what we’re doing here?”
Chanyeol looks just as confused as he feels, and shrugs. “I never know what Lu Han has in mind.”
Jongin sighs and feels himself getting annoyed, the one night he decides to go out Lu Han takes them to some random club at the edge of the city. He continues simmering in his seat and ignores the waitress who comes and asks if they’d like any drinks. Its not till the lights start dimming that he finally sits up straight and looks at the stage.
“Hello Ladies and Gentleman,” a peppy voice rings throughout the room, “welcome to Sugar! Tonight we have a great array of performances set up, but before any of those get started we’d like to serve our guests.” As if on queue more waiters come out to serve them, this time Jongin decides he’ll order something.
Things get a bit more calm after that, he decides, he’s already here he’ll have a good time.
Chanyeol is in the middle of telling a riveting story about how he ended up streaking during a high school game when the peppy voices rings throughout the room again.
“We hope you’ve had your time to eat and drink, because now the show begins!” People slowly start quieting down as the curtains get drawn and someone steps out - the lights are still dimmed so Jongin can’t really see him.
The person stands in the middle of the stage until everything seems prepared and the lights shine on him brightly.
“And now ladies and gentlemen! Put your hands together for D.O!” Polite applause rings through the room as the man on stage - D.O - readies himself. The beat to a song begins and a clear ‘Yeah,” rings throughout the room as he starts singing.
D.O’s voice is like nothing Jongin has ever heard before. Smooth and deep and so clear, he feels as though every part of his body is drowning in it. It doesn’t match D.O at all, who is thin and a bit short, and so young looking with those wide, dark eyes roaming over the crowd as he sings. Jongin thinks he’s breathtaking. Full lips form words, music, that everyone is entranced with, thick brows furrow as he hits a high note and Jongin knows he’s in deep when he can’t take his eyes off of him.
The final notes of the song ring throughout the room and D.O says a quick “Thank you.” before leaving the stage. The applause is cut short when the peppy voice comes on again talking about the next performance. Jongin though, is no longer listening, instead he’s trying to look past the curtain to see if he can get one last look at D.O, who disappeared so quickly.
“That was great wasn't it?,” Lu Han says, murmurs of agreement are said by the rest of his friends.
“Really good,” Junmyeon says, while stealing some of Lu Hans pasta.
“He was amazing,” Jongin says almost breathlessly, Chanyeol chuckles and slaps his back.
“Our Jongin is in shock.” The rest of the table laughs and Jongin gives a shy smile, everything is calming down even though there seems to be a very rated performance going on, on stage.
He’s still thinking about D.O, about those full lips, and those dark, wide eyes when his phone vibrates.
heard you went out tonight. hope youre having fun~ night <3.
“Stop texting my boyfriend, Lu Han,” Jongin screams, while throwing some of his leftover pasta at the elder. He misses and all Lu Han does is stick his tongue out, before going back to his conversation with Junmyeon.
had a nice time, im going home now. sleep tight :).
Jongin looks around before he leaves, searching for something or someone. Dark eyes and full lips flash through his mind and he feels something unpleasant curl at the bottom of his stomach as he sends the text message, but he chooses to ignore it and instead says goodbye to his friends.
It’s not till a couple days later that Jongin finds himself back at the club. It looks the same, not all the tables are as full as they were a few days ago, it being a Sunday and all. Most people are probably going to bed early, getting ready for work. It’s what Jongin should be doing, but instead he’s here.
He walks towards the back, where the bar is, deciding to sit there since he has no one to sit with him at a table. Theres a couple other people sitting there, downing drinks as if they’re water. He finds the scene sad to look at and turns towards the stage.
Jongin walked over as fast as he could from work, hoping to get in time for D.O’s performance. He didn’t know if the singer had a scheduled time so he decided to come around the same time his group did before.
Luckily for him it seems people are about done with the food that was served to them and the show is about to begin. The peppy voice - Jongin thinks it’s pre-recorded because he see’s no one around talking - fills the room, announcing D.O.
He’s wearing a different outfit today. It’s simple. Black slacks with a white button up. Jongin thinks the he does this on purpose, preferring his voice to do all the talking.
It’s a different song today, some R&B song that makes D.O’s voice low and husky, Jongin feels mesmerized by the shape of the singers lips, by the music coming out of his mouth. After the song is over a quick ‘Thank you.’ is said again and the other walks off the stage.
Jongin hangs around until the bartender, who’s tag reads ‘Jongdae’, asks if he wants anything to drink.
“No thank you,” he replies and stands up, stretching. It’s late and he has work, and school tomorrow, but he isn’t tired, thoughts of D.O, of his voice, keeping him awake.
This becomes a weekly occurrence for Jongin. He feels like he’s been sucked into some other world. He no longer feels tired after work, or dreads waking up in the mornings. Even his friends have noticed he’s ‘less broodier’ according to Lu Han. He doesn’t want to admit its because of Kyungsoo, D.O’s real name, which he learned from the bartender, who he’s made a good friend out of.
He feels guilty going to club whenever he can spare the time. It’s been a little over a month, almost two, since he’s been doing this and he doesn’t know how to stop. He can’t put into words what Kyungsoo does to him.
Jongin likes to think, no is sure, it’s Kyungsoo’s voice. Theres a certain charm to it, and he cant help but have it stuck in his head all day. Some nights Kyungsoo sings korean ballads, others its 90s R&B, he even sung a french song once that had Jongin melting on the inside. Either way, Jongin knows he’s hooked but
he can’t be.
Jongin is dating Baekhyun, his boyfriend of almost two years. His snarky, funny, sweet boyfriend who’s been there for him. So he decides to stop going just to make sure this is nothing more but simple infatuation.
“Come in!” Jongin shouts, when he hears the knocking from the front door. He stirs the ramen quickly before turning around to a disheveled looking Baekhyun. Jongin’s fingers itch with the need to fix his hair.
“Hey.”
“Hi,” Baekhyun says, walking over. “That smells good.”
Jongin laughs lightly, “It’s just ramen, you can grab a bowl it’s ready.”
Jongin watches as Baekhyun moves around freely. He’s so comfortable here, in his apartment. It’s the type of comfort thats built over time, by two people who trust each other. Jongin feels his stomach tighten, an uncomfortable knot at its center, but he chooses it to ignore it.
They both prepare their meal. Jongin adding a ton of hot sauce to his, which Baekhyun scrunches his nose at.
“I don’t know how you handle spicy foods.”
“It’s because I’m awesome,” he states.
“You keep thinking that Mr. I-couldn’t-sleep-because-we-watched-the-thing.”
“Hey! You promised you wouldn't mention that,” he pouts. Baekhyun laughs lightly, his mouth opening up wide, letting Jongin get a view of his sharp canines. He’s always loved them.
“You’re right.” Baekhyun sets his food down on the counter and walks over to him, pressing his lips lightly against his own. “Now lets go to the living room, the dramas about to start.”
They spend the rest of their evening like this, cuddled up on the couch watching dramas. It’s nice and Jongin loves the ease that comes with this. The weight of Baekhyuns legs on his thighs or the way the elders runs his fingers through his hair.
It’s not till much later, that he checks his watch and realizes that around this time Kyungsoo should be performing. He admits to himself that he misses hearing the timber of the singers voice, misses watching those dark, wide eyes look at the crowd.
Jongin knows he’s spaced out when Baekhyun shoves him lightly.
“Hey, I said I’m going home.”
“Alright let me walk you out.”
They shuffle over to the front door and say their goodbyes. It’s when Jongin shuts the door, that he realizes he was still thinking about Kyungsoo, wondering what it’d be like to watch him put his shoes on. Wondering what it’d be like to softly press his lips against soft pink ones. With that realization comes another, as the knot in his stomach tightens further. He can finally put a name on it.
Guilt.
Jongin doesn’t know how he ended up here. The bright pink neon sign seems to mock him as he makes his way through the door. He sighs and goes towards the back of the bar, which is almost empty today. He realizes its only Monday, most people wouldn't really be going out on a day like this.
“Hard day?” Jongdae asks, setting a shot glass full of clear liquid in front of him.
“You could say that,” Jongin mutters, taking the shot. The back of his throat stings as the liquid trails down slowly. Vodka has never been his forte, but on a day like this Jongin thinks he deserves it.
He thinks about today, about waking up late and missing his first period. About going to work and having to work a double shift because some other kid decided to skip out today. And all he could think about throughout the day was coming here, sitting in his usual seat and letting Kyungsoo’s voice wash over him as he relaxed.
He’s mad at himself for coming, he’s mad that those thoughts were even in his mind in the first place, because before this club, before Kyungsoo, he had Baekhyun.
Baekhyun was good at making him relax, with his easy humor and bright smiles. Baekhyun who is usually just a text away from being free to hang out with him.
The quietness of the room feels nice, and even though Jongin knows it’s not smart to be here he decides to relax. Going as far as to ask Jongdae for another glass.
Jongin is so engrossed in his own thoughts that he doesn't notice when someone walks through the door and stand by the large island until they speak.
“Hey, Jondae can I get a water please.”
Jongin feels himself turn quickly, eyes widening. He’d recognize that voice anywhere. It’s Kyungsoo. In regular jeans and a tshirt. He looks even better up close, less washed out by the stage lights.
Jongin watches Jongdae pass Kyungsoo a water bottle as they easily chat about their days. It seems he was staring too long because Jongdae looks over at him, the edges of his lips curling up slightly.
“Kyungsoo this is Jongin. He’s a big fan.”
Kyungsoo turns to look at him, a shy smile on his face. “Hello, I’m Kyungsoo.”
“Hi Kyungsoo,” oh how the name tastes sweet on his tongue,”I’m Jongin, like Jongdae said. Also a big fan, like Jongdae said,” he chokes out. He’s nervous, he’d never thought this would actually happen. Thought he’d only watch the other from afar.
“Ah,” a small blush seems to rise up Kyungsoo’s face, “thank you, I didn’t think a lot of people really listened to me, since the club is for other things.” An awkward chuckle leaves Kyungsoo’s mouth as he rubs at his nape.
“No, oh god, you’re really good. Your voice is...amazing,” Jongin breathes. He can’t help but gush, even if he’s embarrassing himself. He secretly thanks Jongdae for giving him those shots earlier. He needs a little liquid courage right now.
Kyungsoo laughs again, humble. “Please stop, you’re making me feel embarrassed. I don’t really like doing the whole singing live thing, but it pays the bills,” he shrugs.
“Oh?” Jongin questions, raising a brow. How could someone with so much talent not like doing this?
Kyungsoo sits at the seat across from him, seemingly tired of standing since it seems they’re going to talk for a while. Jongin takes this as a success for himself.
“I’m a bit shy, I usually leave the stage as soon as I’m done singing.”
“I’ve noticed, you never give me enough time to clap for you.” Jongin can feel himself grinning, he can’t stop, really.
They continue like this for a while. Jongin mainly keeping the focus of the conversation on Kyungsoo. Who tells him he’s a university student, much like him, and works at a daycare afterwards, then comes to sing at the club for a little extra cash.
“I live with my brother, and help my parents pay for school so I like to have a little spending money too.” Kyungsoo continues telling him about himself. Jongin is surprised to find out the smaller man is older than him. “I know I’m tiny,” Kyungsoo says darkly, making Jongin laugh, “but I’m almost 23 and done with school so treat me like your elder!”
Jongin puts both of his hands in the air, “Alright, alright.”
The focus quickly turns to him. Kyungsoo is an incredibly curious person, for someone who says they're quite shy, he sure talks a lot. Not that Jongin minds.
Jongin talks about his major, his job, just little things here in there.
“Oh wow,” Kyungsoo says, looking over the room. It’s not crazy full but there is a bit of a crowd. “I should probably go change and warm up.” Kyungsoo rises from his seat and sends an unfortunate smile at Jongin.
“Sorry I have to leave so quickly, I really enjoyed talking. I hope we can see each other soon?” Kyungsoo ends it with a question, as if Jongin wouldn’t want to talk to him.
“Yes of course,” Jongin reassures him. “ I’m still going to be here, at least until you’re done singing if you want to talk afterwards.” He declares, hoping Kyungsoo doesn’t find him overbearing.
Kyungsoo looks up at him over his fringe, pink tinting his cheeks from all the attention Jongin is giving him.
“I’d like that.”
That night, Jongin can't keep a smile off his face. Not only did he talk to Kyungsoo, but he got his number. And they talked! He rolls around in his bed, feeling 17 all over again. Oh god, he can’t get over just how happy he is. He feels elated at the way everything turned out tonight and sleeps soundly, until his alarm wakes him up in the morning.
Jongin doesn’t even realize it’s been a month since him and Kyungsoo officially met, oh how time flies when you’ve made a new friend. Yes, friend he tells himself. This is nothing more than a good friendship. And really, it is. Kyungsoo is nice, interesting, and easy to talk to. They’ve never overstepped any lines. Jongin knows he can’t, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t push it.
There are times when they’re eating after their classes or when they share a drink after Kyungsoo is done singing that Jongin can’t help himself. Can’t help the compliments that falls from his lips, turning Kyungsoo into a spluttering mess. Or the way his hand lingers too long on Kyungsoo’s back.
He hasn’t told Kyungsoo about Baekhyun. He knows he should. Knows he should probably stop fooling himself, but Jongin wants to play the fool a little longer.
“Hey Jongin,” Lu Han pokes at his stomach. “Yixing wanted to ask you and Baekhyun to come over for dinner.”
Jongin who is in the middle of texting Kyungsoo looks up. Shit, in the midst of everything thats been going on lately he hasn’t talked to Baekhyun much. It happens though, has happened over time. When you’re with someone so long you don't need to constantly meet up to assure yourselves of your status, the road is smooth. But now, Jongin know its different; rocky.
“Yeah, we’d love too. When are you having it? I need to check if he’s free.”
“It’s tomorrow, nothing fancy. Probably just a barbeque so don’t bother dressing up.”
Lu Han continues talking about the dinner and some other stuff that Jongin could care less about, but he’s a good friend and listens nonetheless. Work passes far too slow for his pleasure, so when the clock strikes seven hes nothing short of ecstatic. He makes his way home. Taking his usual bus route when he notices someone walking out the window.
It’s Kyungsoo. Before he even knows it, Jongin is ringing for the bus to stop and running out the doors, trying to catch up to the other.
“Kyungsoo!” He shouts, hoping to get his attention. Kyungsoo lucky turns around and gives him a blinding smile.
“Jongin, hi.”
Jongin loves the way Kyungsoo’s pretty pinks lips turn up into a smile, giving a heart shaped looked.
Now that Jongin is out of the bus he realizes he doesn’t even know why he called the elder out.
Maybe, you just wanted an excuse to talk to him his inner voice says.
“Where are you going?” He decides to ask.
“Home actually. I don’t work on Thursdays, thank god.”
“That’s good. You need to rest up your voice if you want to get big.” Jongin jokes. Kyungsoo snorts at that, shaking his head.
“I’ve told you a million times, Jongin, just a hobby.” Kyungsoo seems to realize they're standing in the middle of the sidewalk and walks over to the building near them, leaning on the wall. God, Jongin thinks, Kyungsoo looks beautiful like this. Dressed comfortably, a curl at the edge of his lips as he tries not to smile at him, the street light giving him a nice glow.
“What are you doing tomorrow, say around dinner time?” Jongin knows its a mistake as soon as the question leaves his mouth. Taking Kyungsoo to dinner with his friends is pushing it. Baekhyun could find out, but then again he’s just taking him as a friend. Baekhyun has singing classes on Friday’s anyways. Yeah, Jongin nods. This is okay.
“Well I sing on Fridays, get big tips on those days. Why?” Kyungsoo asks. Theres a slight flush on his face, making Jongin grin. Yes, this okay.
“My friends are having some barbeque, nothing fancy, just good food and nice company. I was wondering if you wanted to come?”
“Oh,” Kyungsoo breathes, “Yeah, I’d um, I’d love to. I’ll call in sick tomorrow, you're a lucky man, Jongin I don’t do this on the busiest day of the week.”
Jongin grins, he really is. “Great, thats great. I’ll text you the directions, or do you want to meet up somewhere and take the same bus?”
“Bus, sounds good. I don’t want to show up alone, thats always weird.”
“Aww, you’re so cute when you’re shy Soo.” It slips out, the nickname, but Kyungsoo doesn’t seem to mind, because his eyes crinkle upwards with how big he’s smiling.
The smile leaves his face quickly though, as he punches Jongin in the arm. “Don’t call me cute you brat. Text me where we’ll meet up. I’ll see you tomorrow!” Kyungsoo waves, smiling at him one last time before walking away.
“Bye,” Jongin shouts, “you wont regret it!”
Baekhyun and Jongin weren’t always like this. So easy with each other. Jongin remembers the days where he’d stutter, and blush his way through half way of a conversation with Baekhyun. Remembers Baekhyun learning how to make him laugh. It was the little things that helped them fall in love. Little things like Baekhyun waiting for Jongin after class, even if it meant he was late to his own, just so they could spend time together. It was Jongin making Baekhyun lunch even though he was a horrible cook. It was the kisses shared in the comfort of each other. It was so easy to fall in love.
Jongin sleeps restlessly that night.
Meeting up with Kyungsoo is easy, nothing but a simple walk to the bus stop where the other is already sitting. Jongin isn’t surprised, Kyungsoo seemed like the type to be early all the time.
“Hey,” Jongin says, behind Kyungsoo who startles.
“Jongin, hi, you surprised me.” Red tints the tops of Kyungsoo’s ears, Jongin thinks hes adorable.
“Sorry, mind if I sit?”
“Yeah of course.”
They mill around, and talk about their day. Jongin can tell Kyungsoo is a bit nervous about meeting his friends so he tells him to relax.
“Relax, my friends are losers nothing to worry about.”
Kyungsoo laughs, “Do your friends know you’re so rude?”
Jongin pouts. “I’m not rude, I just tell it how it is.” Yeah right his subconscious remarks.
“Well, I guess it won’t be so bad since you’re going to be there.”
Kyungsoo stands, a twinkle in his eyes. “Come on, bus is right around the corner.”
Dinner is fun to say the least. Yixing and Lu Han are accommodating to the situation. Yixing believes his excuse of Kyungsoo being a friend easily, Lu Han though, is a different case. Piercing eyes watch over Jongin quietly throughout the whole dinner.
The couple tell embarrassing stories of Jongin learning how to be a waiter properly, about how he wouldn’t get tips at first because he wasn’t very friendly with the customers, or how many plates he’d drop. Kyungsoo is great, he listens and laughs where its needed, even putting in his own stories.
Jongin loves it. Wishes it could always be like this, him, Kyungsoo, and his friends. It’s when this thought flashes through his mind that Jongin realizes its time. If he can no longer see a future with Baekhyun it wouldn’t be fair of him to do this to them.
Jongin notices Kyungsoo check his phone, brows furrowed as he reads - what Jongin assumes is a text message.
“Is something wrong,” he asks.
“Mmm, not really but I do have to get home soon.” Kyungsoo looks over their finished food and at Lu Han and Yixing who are conversing between themselves.
“Oh yeah, of course, let me just tell them and we’ll get going.”
“Okay, I’m gonna go use the restroom really quick,” Kyungsoo says.
Jongin watches him go until Kyungsoo is out of sight then walks towards the couple.
“Hey guys, we’re gonna get going, Kyungsoo has to get home.”
“Alright,” Yixing dimples, waving a hand at him.
Lu Han pats Yixings thigh, “I’m going to walk them out, I’ll help you clean all this up when I come back.”
Jongin follows Lu Han towards the front door who stills in front of it as they wait for Kyungsoo to come out.
“So,” Lu Han glares, “Kyungsoo, huh?”
“Um, yeah, about that listen.”
“No, you listen, Jongin. I dont know what the hell you’re doing, but I want you to know whatever it is, is incredibly stupid. The only reason I’m not calling Baekhyun this very moment is because I’m trusting you to fix this.”
Jongin nods guilty, not expecting anything less from his best friend.
“I’m going to fix this, don’t worry. I’m sorry for putting you in this position really, I didn’t mean for any of this to happen.” I didn’t mean to let Kyungsoo get under my skin
“I’m ready,” Kyungsoo says behind them.
Lu Han gives Jongin one last glare before smiling at them both. “Bye, thank you for coming.”
Kyungsoo and Jongin say goodbye before walking out.
When they’re back at the bus stop Kyungsoo asks what they were talking about.
“You guys looked pretty serious, was it something I said?”
“No, no, it was something else.”
Kyungsoo looks at him seriously, curious eyes so open that they make Jongin want to spill everything, instead he kisses him.
Jongin catches Kyungsoo by surprise, a quick press of lips against lips, making the other gasp against his mouth. Jongin takes advantage of it and sucks on Kyungsoo’s bottom lip, nibbling on it before letting it go with a pop, making Kyungsoo moan. The sound makes him shiver with want, and has him pulling back ending the kiss slowly, until they’re inches away from each other.
Jongin looks over at Kyungsoo who is panting a little, lips parted, red and shiny. God he wants to kiss him again.
“Oh, wow,” Kyungsoo laughs.
“Yeah,” Jongin breathes.
Once the after kiss glow is gone Jongin thinks about what Lu Han said, and decides its time. He feels terrible because Kyungsoo is sitting next to him, so trusting, with a smile on his beautiful heart-shaped lips and he’s going to take that away from him.
“Kyungsoo, I have something to tell you.” Jongin’s voice comes out hoarse, he can feel his throat wanting to close up.
“What’s up,” Kyungsoo questions, looking up at him expectantly.
“I have a boyfriend,” Jongin states, looking down at Kyungsoo’s hand which comes off his thigh so quick its as if touching Jongin burnt him.
“W-what,” Kyungsoo stutters. “But you, you kissed me. We’ve been talking? Jongin, what,” Kyungsoo whispers.
“I..I can’t explain my actions, I just want you to know I’m going to take care of this,” Jongin is interrupted by a harsh laugh.
“There is no this, there is no us,” Kyungsoo states harshly as he stands up and walks away.
He doesn’t look back
Jongin knows he’s fucked up. He can’t get the sound of Kyungsoo’s harsh, broken laugh out of his head. The look of Lu Hans angry glare during the dinner. Everythings such a big fucking mess and its all his fault. Theres only one thing he can do to fix everything, so he takes his phone out and texts Baekhyun.
“Yo, long time no see.” Baekhyun had let himself in and is sitting across from Jongin in the kitchen table.
“I know, lifes just been crazy I guess.”
There's only silence after that, both of them not knowing what to say. They have no excuses for not seeing each other, not really. Jongin realizes the ease they had, the comfort of not talking over the phone every night like they used, the comfort of not asking questions because they thought they already knew everything there was to know should have been a sign. A sign that their relationship isn’t what it once was. They stopped trying to learn about each other, stopped trying to love each other more long ago.
Jongin knows that just because they stopped trying doesn’t excuse what he did. So he’s going to lay everything out, he’s the villain here.
“Baekhyun, I kissed someone.”
It’s not easy after that, the happy glint in Baekhyuns eyes leaves him only to be replaced by one of anger.
“We stop talking for a while and you decide to cheat on me? You’re a piece of work Jongin,” Baekhyun scoffs, looking away.
Jongin knows Baekhyun only hides his face when he’s about to cry, waves of guilt pierce his heart as he looks at his lover.
“Baek, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
They talk about it, he doesn’t mention Kyungsoo, or the kiss. Jongin talks about them, about how they stopped trying and Baekhyun goes along with it before standing up.
“I-I can't do this,” Baekhyun says, his voice cracks and Jongin wishes he could fix it. “Goodbye, Jongin.”
And it ends, just like that. Two years of a relationship done with just two words..
At night Jongin thinks about how none of this would have happened, no one would have ended up hurt or feeling betrayed if he had just owned up to his feelings. Jongin should have known better, he sighs turning over on his side and reads his alarm clock, it’s 2am.
He should have stopped playing the fool.
Kyungsoo ignores all his texts and calls, Jongin tries, again and again to reach him but its basically impossible. To make things worst finals were coming up and work was getting busier. With all of that piling up he never had time to go see Kyungsoo at work, but Jongin thought maybe this wasn’t such a bad thing, they needed space.
Jongin can only take being ignored for so long before he breaks. He decides on going straight to Sugar after work. He doesn’t care that he’s exhausted and that he has homework to finish. Kyungsoo is more important.
He gets there just in time to hear Kyungsoo sing the final notes of a song, his sweet voice fills the room and Jongin’s heart aches at how sad it sounds. The last notes of the song ring through the air. Once its completely finished Kyungsoo says his usual ‘Thank you before leaving the stage.
Jongin watches him go and makes his way around, finding the door Kyungsoo went through. It leads to a long hallway with doors at the sides of the walls. Jongin assumes there are dressing rooms. At the end of the hallway Kyungsoo is walking quickly towards the exit.
“Wait,” Jongin screams, running. Kyungsoo turns around, eyes widening as they see him and he quickly runs out the door. Jongin growls, and chases him him, till he catches him near the end of the alley.
Jongin pulls back on Kyungsoo’s shoulder, bring the elder towards his chest. Kyungsoo stumbles, falling onto him.
Jongin holds him there for a couple of seconds, catching his breath before turning Kyungsoo around to face him.
Jongin is out of breath and his heart is pounding, but he knows he has to do this before the chance leaves.
“Kyungsoo,” he exhales. Kyungsoo nibbles on his bottom lip, looking at the floor. ”Please, look at me,” Jongin begs.
Kyungsoo looks so small in front of him. He’s tense, hands fisted at his side and those wide eyes are guarded as they look up at him.
“What,” Kyungsoo asks, voice hard as steel.
“Look, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry Kyungsoo I didn’t mean to hide Baekhyun from you.” Kyungsoo cringes at the name, shoulders hunching up protectively as if he’s trying to shield himself from the words. “But, I didn’t want to scare you away. I kept on ignoring my feelings even though I knew I was attracted you. Right from the start, Kyungsoo, I was attracted to you as soon as I heard you sing. I knew”
“I like you, I really really like you,” Jongin stresses, serious. He closes the space between him and Kyungsoo till they’re face to face
Jongin leans in and peppers little kisses all over Kyungsoo’s face. His forehead, his cheeks, down his neck and up again, whispering ‘Sorry, sorry, I’m so fucking sorry’ until its all he can say.
Kyungsoo pushes him away, eyes no longer scared and guarded but unwavering in the way they’re pointed towards him, so full of trust Jongin doesn’t know what he’d done to deserve it.
“You can’t do that do me again, Jongin, you can’t lie or hides things. I won’t be able to take it.”
“I won’t, never, ever again, oh God, Kyungsoo, thank you, thank you,” Jongin almost screams, placing butterfly kisses all over Kyungsoo’s face again.
Kyungsoo laughs, “You’re lucky I like you so much.”
Jongin laughs remembering hearing those words before and closes the space between them, melding their lips together. The kiss is different from their last, it's needy and filled with want. They kiss until their lips are red and swollen, until the only thing they’re breathing in is each other.
“You won't regret it,” Jongin pants against the swell of Kyungsoo’s lips, mouth curving upwards.
Kyungsoo’s lips curl up, forming that beautiful heart shaped smile that Jongin loves so much.
“You better make sure I don’t.”
pg13; 5.9k; romance; slight!angst
warning: infidelity (very slight)
a/n written for kaisoommer
Jongin usually isn't out this late. He juggles a lot during the day, school, a job, his boyfriend. He’s busy, and by time he’s finished with everything on his schedule he’s exhausted and prefers going home to sleep. This night though, is different.
After working a long shift all he wanted was to go home, maybe call his boyfriend Baekhyun and ask if he wanted to order take out maybe watch a movie, but his co-workers decided to have a day out and insisted Jongin goes since he never hangs out with them.
Jongin works at a family restaurant owned by his friend, Junmyeons family. He works with a couple of other guys who are much too loud in his opinion.
“Come on, Jongin! You never come with us, it’ll be fun.” Lu Han is loud and clingy and impossible to say no to so Jongin goes, if only to shut him up. Sometimes Jongin wonders how someone who is 4 years older than him can be so annoying.
“You’re so annoying,” Jongin states. He wants to make sure Lu Han knows this before pushing him away towards his other co-workers.
The elder laughs and skips away, walking with their other co-workers. It’s only four of them. Lu Han, Junmyeon, Chanyeol, and Jongin so its not like they’re a large group.
Jongin decides to hang back and take in the scenery. They’re walking a bit past the heart of the city, where things seem to get darker and the people walking around keep their eyes to the ground. He realizes, he doesn’t even know where they’re going. Just as he’s about to ask they come to an abrupt stop in front of a dark mahogany door. Theres an obnoxious, giant bubblegum pink sign above it with SUGAR! spelled out in cursive.
“Uh, hyung what is this place?” He questions.
“Don’t worry about it,” Lu Han almost cackles “you’re going to be in for a treat.”
And a treat it is.
They walk in to what Jongin thinks is a club, but hes not completely sure. Its dark and spacey, lights flashing but theres not a large group of people dancing. Instead there are tables in the open space, people sitting at them, all faced toward a big stage. Theres a bar in the back, and what seems to be a second floor from the stairs near it. Their group walks to one of the tables and they sit.
“Chanyeol do you have any idea what we’re doing here?”
Chanyeol looks just as confused as he feels, and shrugs. “I never know what Lu Han has in mind.”
Jongin sighs and feels himself getting annoyed, the one night he decides to go out Lu Han takes them to some random club at the edge of the city. He continues simmering in his seat and ignores the waitress who comes and asks if they’d like any drinks. Its not till the lights start dimming that he finally sits up straight and looks at the stage.
“Hello Ladies and Gentleman,” a peppy voice rings throughout the room, “welcome to Sugar! Tonight we have a great array of performances set up, but before any of those get started we’d like to serve our guests.” As if on queue more waiters come out to serve them, this time Jongin decides he’ll order something.
Things get a bit more calm after that, he decides, he’s already here he’ll have a good time.
Chanyeol is in the middle of telling a riveting story about how he ended up streaking during a high school game when the peppy voices rings throughout the room again.
“We hope you’ve had your time to eat and drink, because now the show begins!” People slowly start quieting down as the curtains get drawn and someone steps out - the lights are still dimmed so Jongin can’t really see him.
The person stands in the middle of the stage until everything seems prepared and the lights shine on him brightly.
“And now ladies and gentlemen! Put your hands together for D.O!” Polite applause rings through the room as the man on stage - D.O - readies himself. The beat to a song begins and a clear ‘Yeah,” rings throughout the room as he starts singing.
D.O’s voice is like nothing Jongin has ever heard before. Smooth and deep and so clear, he feels as though every part of his body is drowning in it. It doesn’t match D.O at all, who is thin and a bit short, and so young looking with those wide, dark eyes roaming over the crowd as he sings. Jongin thinks he’s breathtaking. Full lips form words, music, that everyone is entranced with, thick brows furrow as he hits a high note and Jongin knows he’s in deep when he can’t take his eyes off of him.
The final notes of the song ring throughout the room and D.O says a quick “Thank you.” before leaving the stage. The applause is cut short when the peppy voice comes on again talking about the next performance. Jongin though, is no longer listening, instead he’s trying to look past the curtain to see if he can get one last look at D.O, who disappeared so quickly.
“That was great wasn't it?,” Lu Han says, murmurs of agreement are said by the rest of his friends.
“Really good,” Junmyeon says, while stealing some of Lu Hans pasta.
“He was amazing,” Jongin says almost breathlessly, Chanyeol chuckles and slaps his back.
“Our Jongin is in shock.” The rest of the table laughs and Jongin gives a shy smile, everything is calming down even though there seems to be a very rated performance going on, on stage.
He’s still thinking about D.O, about those full lips, and those dark, wide eyes when his phone vibrates.
heard you went out tonight. hope youre having fun~ night <3.
“Stop texting my boyfriend, Lu Han,” Jongin screams, while throwing some of his leftover pasta at the elder. He misses and all Lu Han does is stick his tongue out, before going back to his conversation with Junmyeon.
had a nice time, im going home now. sleep tight :).
Jongin looks around before he leaves, searching for something or someone. Dark eyes and full lips flash through his mind and he feels something unpleasant curl at the bottom of his stomach as he sends the text message, but he chooses to ignore it and instead says goodbye to his friends.
It’s not till a couple days later that Jongin finds himself back at the club. It looks the same, not all the tables are as full as they were a few days ago, it being a Sunday and all. Most people are probably going to bed early, getting ready for work. It’s what Jongin should be doing, but instead he’s here.
He walks towards the back, where the bar is, deciding to sit there since he has no one to sit with him at a table. Theres a couple other people sitting there, downing drinks as if they’re water. He finds the scene sad to look at and turns towards the stage.
Jongin walked over as fast as he could from work, hoping to get in time for D.O’s performance. He didn’t know if the singer had a scheduled time so he decided to come around the same time his group did before.
Luckily for him it seems people are about done with the food that was served to them and the show is about to begin. The peppy voice - Jongin thinks it’s pre-recorded because he see’s no one around talking - fills the room, announcing D.O.
He’s wearing a different outfit today. It’s simple. Black slacks with a white button up. Jongin thinks the he does this on purpose, preferring his voice to do all the talking.
It’s a different song today, some R&B song that makes D.O’s voice low and husky, Jongin feels mesmerized by the shape of the singers lips, by the music coming out of his mouth. After the song is over a quick ‘Thank you.’ is said again and the other walks off the stage.
Jongin hangs around until the bartender, who’s tag reads ‘Jongdae’, asks if he wants anything to drink.
“No thank you,” he replies and stands up, stretching. It’s late and he has work, and school tomorrow, but he isn’t tired, thoughts of D.O, of his voice, keeping him awake.
This becomes a weekly occurrence for Jongin. He feels like he’s been sucked into some other world. He no longer feels tired after work, or dreads waking up in the mornings. Even his friends have noticed he’s ‘less broodier’ according to Lu Han. He doesn’t want to admit its because of Kyungsoo, D.O’s real name, which he learned from the bartender, who he’s made a good friend out of.
He feels guilty going to club whenever he can spare the time. It’s been a little over a month, almost two, since he’s been doing this and he doesn’t know how to stop. He can’t put into words what Kyungsoo does to him.
Jongin likes to think, no is sure, it’s Kyungsoo’s voice. Theres a certain charm to it, and he cant help but have it stuck in his head all day. Some nights Kyungsoo sings korean ballads, others its 90s R&B, he even sung a french song once that had Jongin melting on the inside. Either way, Jongin knows he’s hooked but
he can’t be.
Jongin is dating Baekhyun, his boyfriend of almost two years. His snarky, funny, sweet boyfriend who’s been there for him. So he decides to stop going just to make sure this is nothing more but simple infatuation.
“Come in!” Jongin shouts, when he hears the knocking from the front door. He stirs the ramen quickly before turning around to a disheveled looking Baekhyun. Jongin’s fingers itch with the need to fix his hair.
“Hey.”
“Hi,” Baekhyun says, walking over. “That smells good.”
Jongin laughs lightly, “It’s just ramen, you can grab a bowl it’s ready.”
Jongin watches as Baekhyun moves around freely. He’s so comfortable here, in his apartment. It’s the type of comfort thats built over time, by two people who trust each other. Jongin feels his stomach tighten, an uncomfortable knot at its center, but he chooses it to ignore it.
They both prepare their meal. Jongin adding a ton of hot sauce to his, which Baekhyun scrunches his nose at.
“I don’t know how you handle spicy foods.”
“It’s because I’m awesome,” he states.
“You keep thinking that Mr. I-couldn’t-sleep-because-we-watched-the-thing.”
“Hey! You promised you wouldn't mention that,” he pouts. Baekhyun laughs lightly, his mouth opening up wide, letting Jongin get a view of his sharp canines. He’s always loved them.
“You’re right.” Baekhyun sets his food down on the counter and walks over to him, pressing his lips lightly against his own. “Now lets go to the living room, the dramas about to start.”
They spend the rest of their evening like this, cuddled up on the couch watching dramas. It’s nice and Jongin loves the ease that comes with this. The weight of Baekhyuns legs on his thighs or the way the elders runs his fingers through his hair.
It’s not till much later, that he checks his watch and realizes that around this time Kyungsoo should be performing. He admits to himself that he misses hearing the timber of the singers voice, misses watching those dark, wide eyes look at the crowd.
Jongin knows he’s spaced out when Baekhyun shoves him lightly.
“Hey, I said I’m going home.”
“Alright let me walk you out.”
They shuffle over to the front door and say their goodbyes. It’s when Jongin shuts the door, that he realizes he was still thinking about Kyungsoo, wondering what it’d be like to watch him put his shoes on. Wondering what it’d be like to softly press his lips against soft pink ones. With that realization comes another, as the knot in his stomach tightens further. He can finally put a name on it.
Guilt.
Jongin doesn’t know how he ended up here. The bright pink neon sign seems to mock him as he makes his way through the door. He sighs and goes towards the back of the bar, which is almost empty today. He realizes its only Monday, most people wouldn't really be going out on a day like this.
“Hard day?” Jongdae asks, setting a shot glass full of clear liquid in front of him.
“You could say that,” Jongin mutters, taking the shot. The back of his throat stings as the liquid trails down slowly. Vodka has never been his forte, but on a day like this Jongin thinks he deserves it.
He thinks about today, about waking up late and missing his first period. About going to work and having to work a double shift because some other kid decided to skip out today. And all he could think about throughout the day was coming here, sitting in his usual seat and letting Kyungsoo’s voice wash over him as he relaxed.
He’s mad at himself for coming, he’s mad that those thoughts were even in his mind in the first place, because before this club, before Kyungsoo, he had Baekhyun.
Baekhyun was good at making him relax, with his easy humor and bright smiles. Baekhyun who is usually just a text away from being free to hang out with him.
The quietness of the room feels nice, and even though Jongin knows it’s not smart to be here he decides to relax. Going as far as to ask Jongdae for another glass.
Jongin is so engrossed in his own thoughts that he doesn't notice when someone walks through the door and stand by the large island until they speak.
“Hey, Jondae can I get a water please.”
Jongin feels himself turn quickly, eyes widening. He’d recognize that voice anywhere. It’s Kyungsoo. In regular jeans and a tshirt. He looks even better up close, less washed out by the stage lights.
Jongin watches Jongdae pass Kyungsoo a water bottle as they easily chat about their days. It seems he was staring too long because Jongdae looks over at him, the edges of his lips curling up slightly.
“Kyungsoo this is Jongin. He’s a big fan.”
Kyungsoo turns to look at him, a shy smile on his face. “Hello, I’m Kyungsoo.”
“Hi Kyungsoo,” oh how the name tastes sweet on his tongue,”I’m Jongin, like Jongdae said. Also a big fan, like Jongdae said,” he chokes out. He’s nervous, he’d never thought this would actually happen. Thought he’d only watch the other from afar.
“Ah,” a small blush seems to rise up Kyungsoo’s face, “thank you, I didn’t think a lot of people really listened to me, since the club is for other things.” An awkward chuckle leaves Kyungsoo’s mouth as he rubs at his nape.
“No, oh god, you’re really good. Your voice is...amazing,” Jongin breathes. He can’t help but gush, even if he’s embarrassing himself. He secretly thanks Jongdae for giving him those shots earlier. He needs a little liquid courage right now.
Kyungsoo laughs again, humble. “Please stop, you’re making me feel embarrassed. I don’t really like doing the whole singing live thing, but it pays the bills,” he shrugs.
“Oh?” Jongin questions, raising a brow. How could someone with so much talent not like doing this?
Kyungsoo sits at the seat across from him, seemingly tired of standing since it seems they’re going to talk for a while. Jongin takes this as a success for himself.
“I’m a bit shy, I usually leave the stage as soon as I’m done singing.”
“I’ve noticed, you never give me enough time to clap for you.” Jongin can feel himself grinning, he can’t stop, really.
They continue like this for a while. Jongin mainly keeping the focus of the conversation on Kyungsoo. Who tells him he’s a university student, much like him, and works at a daycare afterwards, then comes to sing at the club for a little extra cash.
“I live with my brother, and help my parents pay for school so I like to have a little spending money too.” Kyungsoo continues telling him about himself. Jongin is surprised to find out the smaller man is older than him. “I know I’m tiny,” Kyungsoo says darkly, making Jongin laugh, “but I’m almost 23 and done with school so treat me like your elder!”
Jongin puts both of his hands in the air, “Alright, alright.”
The focus quickly turns to him. Kyungsoo is an incredibly curious person, for someone who says they're quite shy, he sure talks a lot. Not that Jongin minds.
Jongin talks about his major, his job, just little things here in there.
“Oh wow,” Kyungsoo says, looking over the room. It’s not crazy full but there is a bit of a crowd. “I should probably go change and warm up.” Kyungsoo rises from his seat and sends an unfortunate smile at Jongin.
“Sorry I have to leave so quickly, I really enjoyed talking. I hope we can see each other soon?” Kyungsoo ends it with a question, as if Jongin wouldn’t want to talk to him.
“Yes of course,” Jongin reassures him. “ I’m still going to be here, at least until you’re done singing if you want to talk afterwards.” He declares, hoping Kyungsoo doesn’t find him overbearing.
Kyungsoo looks up at him over his fringe, pink tinting his cheeks from all the attention Jongin is giving him.
“I’d like that.”
That night, Jongin can't keep a smile off his face. Not only did he talk to Kyungsoo, but he got his number. And they talked! He rolls around in his bed, feeling 17 all over again. Oh god, he can’t get over just how happy he is. He feels elated at the way everything turned out tonight and sleeps soundly, until his alarm wakes him up in the morning.
Jongin doesn’t even realize it’s been a month since him and Kyungsoo officially met, oh how time flies when you’ve made a new friend. Yes, friend he tells himself. This is nothing more than a good friendship. And really, it is. Kyungsoo is nice, interesting, and easy to talk to. They’ve never overstepped any lines. Jongin knows he can’t, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t push it.
There are times when they’re eating after their classes or when they share a drink after Kyungsoo is done singing that Jongin can’t help himself. Can’t help the compliments that falls from his lips, turning Kyungsoo into a spluttering mess. Or the way his hand lingers too long on Kyungsoo’s back.
He hasn’t told Kyungsoo about Baekhyun. He knows he should. Knows he should probably stop fooling himself, but Jongin wants to play the fool a little longer.
“Hey Jongin,” Lu Han pokes at his stomach. “Yixing wanted to ask you and Baekhyun to come over for dinner.”
Jongin who is in the middle of texting Kyungsoo looks up. Shit, in the midst of everything thats been going on lately he hasn’t talked to Baekhyun much. It happens though, has happened over time. When you’re with someone so long you don't need to constantly meet up to assure yourselves of your status, the road is smooth. But now, Jongin know its different; rocky.
“Yeah, we’d love too. When are you having it? I need to check if he’s free.”
“It’s tomorrow, nothing fancy. Probably just a barbeque so don’t bother dressing up.”
Lu Han continues talking about the dinner and some other stuff that Jongin could care less about, but he’s a good friend and listens nonetheless. Work passes far too slow for his pleasure, so when the clock strikes seven hes nothing short of ecstatic. He makes his way home. Taking his usual bus route when he notices someone walking out the window.
It’s Kyungsoo. Before he even knows it, Jongin is ringing for the bus to stop and running out the doors, trying to catch up to the other.
“Kyungsoo!” He shouts, hoping to get his attention. Kyungsoo lucky turns around and gives him a blinding smile.
“Jongin, hi.”
Jongin loves the way Kyungsoo’s pretty pinks lips turn up into a smile, giving a heart shaped looked.
Now that Jongin is out of the bus he realizes he doesn’t even know why he called the elder out.
Maybe, you just wanted an excuse to talk to him his inner voice says.
“Where are you going?” He decides to ask.
“Home actually. I don’t work on Thursdays, thank god.”
“That’s good. You need to rest up your voice if you want to get big.” Jongin jokes. Kyungsoo snorts at that, shaking his head.
“I’ve told you a million times, Jongin, just a hobby.” Kyungsoo seems to realize they're standing in the middle of the sidewalk and walks over to the building near them, leaning on the wall. God, Jongin thinks, Kyungsoo looks beautiful like this. Dressed comfortably, a curl at the edge of his lips as he tries not to smile at him, the street light giving him a nice glow.
“What are you doing tomorrow, say around dinner time?” Jongin knows its a mistake as soon as the question leaves his mouth. Taking Kyungsoo to dinner with his friends is pushing it. Baekhyun could find out, but then again he’s just taking him as a friend. Baekhyun has singing classes on Friday’s anyways. Yeah, Jongin nods. This is okay.
“Well I sing on Fridays, get big tips on those days. Why?” Kyungsoo asks. Theres a slight flush on his face, making Jongin grin. Yes, this okay.
“My friends are having some barbeque, nothing fancy, just good food and nice company. I was wondering if you wanted to come?”
“Oh,” Kyungsoo breathes, “Yeah, I’d um, I’d love to. I’ll call in sick tomorrow, you're a lucky man, Jongin I don’t do this on the busiest day of the week.”
Jongin grins, he really is. “Great, thats great. I’ll text you the directions, or do you want to meet up somewhere and take the same bus?”
“Bus, sounds good. I don’t want to show up alone, thats always weird.”
“Aww, you’re so cute when you’re shy Soo.” It slips out, the nickname, but Kyungsoo doesn’t seem to mind, because his eyes crinkle upwards with how big he’s smiling.
The smile leaves his face quickly though, as he punches Jongin in the arm. “Don’t call me cute you brat. Text me where we’ll meet up. I’ll see you tomorrow!” Kyungsoo waves, smiling at him one last time before walking away.
“Bye,” Jongin shouts, “you wont regret it!”
Baekhyun and Jongin weren’t always like this. So easy with each other. Jongin remembers the days where he’d stutter, and blush his way through half way of a conversation with Baekhyun. Remembers Baekhyun learning how to make him laugh. It was the little things that helped them fall in love. Little things like Baekhyun waiting for Jongin after class, even if it meant he was late to his own, just so they could spend time together. It was Jongin making Baekhyun lunch even though he was a horrible cook. It was the kisses shared in the comfort of each other. It was so easy to fall in love.
Jongin sleeps restlessly that night.
Meeting up with Kyungsoo is easy, nothing but a simple walk to the bus stop where the other is already sitting. Jongin isn’t surprised, Kyungsoo seemed like the type to be early all the time.
“Hey,” Jongin says, behind Kyungsoo who startles.
“Jongin, hi, you surprised me.” Red tints the tops of Kyungsoo’s ears, Jongin thinks hes adorable.
“Sorry, mind if I sit?”
“Yeah of course.”
They mill around, and talk about their day. Jongin can tell Kyungsoo is a bit nervous about meeting his friends so he tells him to relax.
“Relax, my friends are losers nothing to worry about.”
Kyungsoo laughs, “Do your friends know you’re so rude?”
Jongin pouts. “I’m not rude, I just tell it how it is.” Yeah right his subconscious remarks.
“Well, I guess it won’t be so bad since you’re going to be there.”
Kyungsoo stands, a twinkle in his eyes. “Come on, bus is right around the corner.”
Dinner is fun to say the least. Yixing and Lu Han are accommodating to the situation. Yixing believes his excuse of Kyungsoo being a friend easily, Lu Han though, is a different case. Piercing eyes watch over Jongin quietly throughout the whole dinner.
The couple tell embarrassing stories of Jongin learning how to be a waiter properly, about how he wouldn’t get tips at first because he wasn’t very friendly with the customers, or how many plates he’d drop. Kyungsoo is great, he listens and laughs where its needed, even putting in his own stories.
Jongin loves it. Wishes it could always be like this, him, Kyungsoo, and his friends. It’s when this thought flashes through his mind that Jongin realizes its time. If he can no longer see a future with Baekhyun it wouldn’t be fair of him to do this to them.
Jongin notices Kyungsoo check his phone, brows furrowed as he reads - what Jongin assumes is a text message.
“Is something wrong,” he asks.
“Mmm, not really but I do have to get home soon.” Kyungsoo looks over their finished food and at Lu Han and Yixing who are conversing between themselves.
“Oh yeah, of course, let me just tell them and we’ll get going.”
“Okay, I’m gonna go use the restroom really quick,” Kyungsoo says.
Jongin watches him go until Kyungsoo is out of sight then walks towards the couple.
“Hey guys, we’re gonna get going, Kyungsoo has to get home.”
“Alright,” Yixing dimples, waving a hand at him.
Lu Han pats Yixings thigh, “I’m going to walk them out, I’ll help you clean all this up when I come back.”
Jongin follows Lu Han towards the front door who stills in front of it as they wait for Kyungsoo to come out.
“So,” Lu Han glares, “Kyungsoo, huh?”
“Um, yeah, about that listen.”
“No, you listen, Jongin. I dont know what the hell you’re doing, but I want you to know whatever it is, is incredibly stupid. The only reason I’m not calling Baekhyun this very moment is because I’m trusting you to fix this.”
Jongin nods guilty, not expecting anything less from his best friend.
“I’m going to fix this, don’t worry. I’m sorry for putting you in this position really, I didn’t mean for any of this to happen.” I didn’t mean to let Kyungsoo get under my skin
“I’m ready,” Kyungsoo says behind them.
Lu Han gives Jongin one last glare before smiling at them both. “Bye, thank you for coming.”
Kyungsoo and Jongin say goodbye before walking out.
When they’re back at the bus stop Kyungsoo asks what they were talking about.
“You guys looked pretty serious, was it something I said?”
“No, no, it was something else.”
Kyungsoo looks at him seriously, curious eyes so open that they make Jongin want to spill everything, instead he kisses him.
Jongin catches Kyungsoo by surprise, a quick press of lips against lips, making the other gasp against his mouth. Jongin takes advantage of it and sucks on Kyungsoo’s bottom lip, nibbling on it before letting it go with a pop, making Kyungsoo moan. The sound makes him shiver with want, and has him pulling back ending the kiss slowly, until they’re inches away from each other.
Jongin looks over at Kyungsoo who is panting a little, lips parted, red and shiny. God he wants to kiss him again.
“Oh, wow,” Kyungsoo laughs.
“Yeah,” Jongin breathes.
Once the after kiss glow is gone Jongin thinks about what Lu Han said, and decides its time. He feels terrible because Kyungsoo is sitting next to him, so trusting, with a smile on his beautiful heart-shaped lips and he’s going to take that away from him.
“Kyungsoo, I have something to tell you.” Jongin’s voice comes out hoarse, he can feel his throat wanting to close up.
“What’s up,” Kyungsoo questions, looking up at him expectantly.
“I have a boyfriend,” Jongin states, looking down at Kyungsoo’s hand which comes off his thigh so quick its as if touching Jongin burnt him.
“W-what,” Kyungsoo stutters. “But you, you kissed me. We’ve been talking? Jongin, what,” Kyungsoo whispers.
“I..I can’t explain my actions, I just want you to know I’m going to take care of this,” Jongin is interrupted by a harsh laugh.
“There is no this, there is no us,” Kyungsoo states harshly as he stands up and walks away.
He doesn’t look back
Jongin knows he’s fucked up. He can’t get the sound of Kyungsoo’s harsh, broken laugh out of his head. The look of Lu Hans angry glare during the dinner. Everythings such a big fucking mess and its all his fault. Theres only one thing he can do to fix everything, so he takes his phone out and texts Baekhyun.
“Yo, long time no see.” Baekhyun had let himself in and is sitting across from Jongin in the kitchen table.
“I know, lifes just been crazy I guess.”
There's only silence after that, both of them not knowing what to say. They have no excuses for not seeing each other, not really. Jongin realizes the ease they had, the comfort of not talking over the phone every night like they used, the comfort of not asking questions because they thought they already knew everything there was to know should have been a sign. A sign that their relationship isn’t what it once was. They stopped trying to learn about each other, stopped trying to love each other more long ago.
Jongin knows that just because they stopped trying doesn’t excuse what he did. So he’s going to lay everything out, he’s the villain here.
“Baekhyun, I kissed someone.”
It’s not easy after that, the happy glint in Baekhyuns eyes leaves him only to be replaced by one of anger.
“We stop talking for a while and you decide to cheat on me? You’re a piece of work Jongin,” Baekhyun scoffs, looking away.
Jongin knows Baekhyun only hides his face when he’s about to cry, waves of guilt pierce his heart as he looks at his lover.
“Baek, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
They talk about it, he doesn’t mention Kyungsoo, or the kiss. Jongin talks about them, about how they stopped trying and Baekhyun goes along with it before standing up.
“I-I can't do this,” Baekhyun says, his voice cracks and Jongin wishes he could fix it. “Goodbye, Jongin.”
And it ends, just like that. Two years of a relationship done with just two words..
At night Jongin thinks about how none of this would have happened, no one would have ended up hurt or feeling betrayed if he had just owned up to his feelings. Jongin should have known better, he sighs turning over on his side and reads his alarm clock, it’s 2am.
He should have stopped playing the fool.
Kyungsoo ignores all his texts and calls, Jongin tries, again and again to reach him but its basically impossible. To make things worst finals were coming up and work was getting busier. With all of that piling up he never had time to go see Kyungsoo at work, but Jongin thought maybe this wasn’t such a bad thing, they needed space.
Jongin can only take being ignored for so long before he breaks. He decides on going straight to Sugar after work. He doesn’t care that he’s exhausted and that he has homework to finish. Kyungsoo is more important.
He gets there just in time to hear Kyungsoo sing the final notes of a song, his sweet voice fills the room and Jongin’s heart aches at how sad it sounds. The last notes of the song ring through the air. Once its completely finished Kyungsoo says his usual ‘Thank you before leaving the stage.
Jongin watches him go and makes his way around, finding the door Kyungsoo went through. It leads to a long hallway with doors at the sides of the walls. Jongin assumes there are dressing rooms. At the end of the hallway Kyungsoo is walking quickly towards the exit.
“Wait,” Jongin screams, running. Kyungsoo turns around, eyes widening as they see him and he quickly runs out the door. Jongin growls, and chases him him, till he catches him near the end of the alley.
Jongin pulls back on Kyungsoo’s shoulder, bring the elder towards his chest. Kyungsoo stumbles, falling onto him.
Jongin holds him there for a couple of seconds, catching his breath before turning Kyungsoo around to face him.
Jongin is out of breath and his heart is pounding, but he knows he has to do this before the chance leaves.
“Kyungsoo,” he exhales. Kyungsoo nibbles on his bottom lip, looking at the floor. ”Please, look at me,” Jongin begs.
Kyungsoo looks so small in front of him. He’s tense, hands fisted at his side and those wide eyes are guarded as they look up at him.
“What,” Kyungsoo asks, voice hard as steel.
“Look, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry Kyungsoo I didn’t mean to hide Baekhyun from you.” Kyungsoo cringes at the name, shoulders hunching up protectively as if he’s trying to shield himself from the words. “But, I didn’t want to scare you away. I kept on ignoring my feelings even though I knew I was attracted you. Right from the start, Kyungsoo, I was attracted to you as soon as I heard you sing. I knew”
“I like you, I really really like you,” Jongin stresses, serious. He closes the space between him and Kyungsoo till they’re face to face
Jongin leans in and peppers little kisses all over Kyungsoo’s face. His forehead, his cheeks, down his neck and up again, whispering ‘Sorry, sorry, I’m so fucking sorry’ until its all he can say.
Kyungsoo pushes him away, eyes no longer scared and guarded but unwavering in the way they’re pointed towards him, so full of trust Jongin doesn’t know what he’d done to deserve it.
“You can’t do that do me again, Jongin, you can’t lie or hides things. I won’t be able to take it.”
“I won’t, never, ever again, oh God, Kyungsoo, thank you, thank you,” Jongin almost screams, placing butterfly kisses all over Kyungsoo’s face again.
Kyungsoo laughs, “You’re lucky I like you so much.”
Jongin laughs remembering hearing those words before and closes the space between them, melding their lips together. The kiss is different from their last, it's needy and filled with want. They kiss until their lips are red and swollen, until the only thing they’re breathing in is each other.
“You won't regret it,” Jongin pants against the swell of Kyungsoo’s lips, mouth curving upwards.
Kyungsoo’s lips curl up, forming that beautiful heart shaped smile that Jongin loves so much.
“You better make sure I don’t.”