(no subject)
I'm really not happy right now. I have done my Japanese for about 5 days now, and tonight I set to it, discover I'm doing the wrong page, almost fall asleep, lack any motivation whatsoever, and end up getting sidetracked flicking through the Yellow Pages. So I've given up for the night. I'm tired as hell. I'm still not better. I keep having really ugly coughing fits that make me feel like I'm suffocating, so I'm not gonna beat myself up too bad for letting myself off. I really do need to get back into it soon though...
At the moment, I'm really worried (what else is new?). Tomorrow I've got my college interview that I don't want to go to. I should have just said 'No' when it was suggested, I don't like being a year ahead, what's the point? I'd far prefer to just stick with school completely until the end of year 11, and then make a clean break to college. I'm hoping they won't offer me a place. But anyway, that's not what's really bothering me. What I don't like is that I have to go in a car with a teacher. It'll probably be a fifteen minute drive, but it's just gonna be so damn awkward! I won't know what to say, and she's not really really talkative. I cannot make small talk with adults. Fact. I'm bad with people my own age, but at least we're on a kind of balance, we can only say the same kind of stuff to each other. That doesn't exist with teachers. They're your more powerful superior. It's gonna be agonizing, I can just tell :( Dreading it, definitely.
Anyway, light notes! I'm looking into as many clubs and tuitions as I possibly can, to get myself out there. I want a violin tutor and a guitar tutor (expensive...) & I'd like to do something else too, but I don't know what. I was thinking martial arts, but then I looked on some sites, and the classes are all filled with pre-pubescent boys and I'm just like... no. :D Then I looked at language schools on the unlikely chance there would be Japanese. There wasn't. But there was Chinese! I'd like to learn Chinese at some point, but I kinda had fluency planned in both Japanese and Korean beforehand, so maybe not. Which reminds me, I still haven't progressed at all with my French or Spanish. I'm stupid :D Anyway, back to clubs, can you believe there's no such thing as a skateboarding tutor? That's stupid. I would love to learn, but i'll be damned if I'm gonna go to the park and get laughed out by a bunch of dudes. Actually, I'm not all that interested in skateboarding itself, I just think it'd be fun to be a skaterchick. I feel I'm too feminine, you see. Looking at this, it's probably a good thing I have so many things I want to do. I should should just go for it, and do ALL of them! (because, y'know, I'm reeaalllyy rich and everything :P) It'd be useful if I could get a job. But I can't. I don't think I could even get a paper round at this age. I'd like to work in some really indie shop on Saturdays, or a fairtrade Bohemian coffee house place where all the poets and creative people hang. I'm strange... :D But yeah, I'm gonna just GO for it I think, and start doing some stuff!
My love life! (I don't have or want one...) 'A' is back. Oh God No. Lol. I had a good conversation with him on msn, and so just naturally that obviously means he can go back to calling me 'babe' and acting like I'd have any interest in him. Umm, excuse me? Is this guy completely blind? Surely he must have noticed by now that I do not like him anywhere other than msn. Really. He is completely different on msn, I don't mean 'OMG, ROMEOHEREYOUARE!' wonderful, just an okay bloke to talk to. But in real life he sucks big style. He's crude, loud, and makes himself look stupid the whole time. Is it really pretentious to say I don't want to be associated with that? Completely. Anyway, we dont actually have anything in common. He is obsessed with Evanescence (well, was, he's moved onto ever-so-hardcore Linkin Park now) and seems to think I am to. I like Evanescence. I do. They're songs are cute, but that's as far as it goes. A mutual respect for an okay band is not enough for a relationship, sorry mate.
& I got a sort-of-complement today. In front of a teacher I may add 'I'm not coming onto you, but I swear you look fitter every day.' Uhh, thanks? I think? Lol, it sucks as a compliment,but it was quite nice to be reminded that yes, I could be attractive to people other than 'A'. He is not the only option I'm ever gonna have :D
Anyway, Holby is on soon, so I shall go now. I think relaxing in front of the tv may be good for me? Signing out xxx
At the moment, I'm really worried (what else is new?). Tomorrow I've got my college interview that I don't want to go to. I should have just said 'No' when it was suggested, I don't like being a year ahead, what's the point? I'd far prefer to just stick with school completely until the end of year 11, and then make a clean break to college. I'm hoping they won't offer me a place. But anyway, that's not what's really bothering me. What I don't like is that I have to go in a car with a teacher. It'll probably be a fifteen minute drive, but it's just gonna be so damn awkward! I won't know what to say, and she's not really really talkative. I cannot make small talk with adults. Fact. I'm bad with people my own age, but at least we're on a kind of balance, we can only say the same kind of stuff to each other. That doesn't exist with teachers. They're your more powerful superior. It's gonna be agonizing, I can just tell :( Dreading it, definitely.
Anyway, light notes! I'm looking into as many clubs and tuitions as I possibly can, to get myself out there. I want a violin tutor and a guitar tutor (expensive...) & I'd like to do something else too, but I don't know what. I was thinking martial arts, but then I looked on some sites, and the classes are all filled with pre-pubescent boys and I'm just like... no. :D Then I looked at language schools on the unlikely chance there would be Japanese. There wasn't. But there was Chinese! I'd like to learn Chinese at some point, but I kinda had fluency planned in both Japanese and Korean beforehand, so maybe not. Which reminds me, I still haven't progressed at all with my French or Spanish. I'm stupid :D Anyway, back to clubs, can you believe there's no such thing as a skateboarding tutor? That's stupid. I would love to learn, but i'll be damned if I'm gonna go to the park and get laughed out by a bunch of dudes. Actually, I'm not all that interested in skateboarding itself, I just think it'd be fun to be a skaterchick. I feel I'm too feminine, you see. Looking at this, it's probably a good thing I have so many things I want to do. I should should just go for it, and do ALL of them! (because, y'know, I'm reeaalllyy rich and everything :P) It'd be useful if I could get a job. But I can't. I don't think I could even get a paper round at this age. I'd like to work in some really indie shop on Saturdays, or a fairtrade Bohemian coffee house place where all the poets and creative people hang. I'm strange... :D But yeah, I'm gonna just GO for it I think, and start doing some stuff!
My love life! (I don't have or want one...) 'A' is back. Oh God No. Lol. I had a good conversation with him on msn, and so just naturally that obviously means he can go back to calling me 'babe' and acting like I'd have any interest in him. Umm, excuse me? Is this guy completely blind? Surely he must have noticed by now that I do not like him anywhere other than msn. Really. He is completely different on msn, I don't mean 'OMG, ROMEOHEREYOUARE!' wonderful, just an okay bloke to talk to. But in real life he sucks big style. He's crude, loud, and makes himself look stupid the whole time. Is it really pretentious to say I don't want to be associated with that? Completely. Anyway, we dont actually have anything in common. He is obsessed with Evanescence (well, was, he's moved onto ever-so-hardcore Linkin Park now) and seems to think I am to. I like Evanescence. I do. They're songs are cute, but that's as far as it goes. A mutual respect for an okay band is not enough for a relationship, sorry mate.
& I got a sort-of-complement today. In front of a teacher I may add 'I'm not coming onto you, but I swear you look fitter every day.' Uhh, thanks? I think? Lol, it sucks as a compliment,but it was quite nice to be reminded that yes, I could be attractive to people other than 'A'. He is not the only option I'm ever gonna have :D
Anyway, Holby is on soon, so I shall go now. I think relaxing in front of the tv may be good for me? Signing out xxx