Badfic Challenge by janet_carter
Title: Help me! I broke apart my insides.
Prompt: Fraser and Dief switch bodies. What whacky hijinks ensue when wolf-Fraser makes moon eyes at Kowalski and Frannie needs a sitter for Ante? Set to a Nine Inch Nails "Closer" if it were covered by Weird Al.
Prompt written by: moosesal
rating/warnings/etc: PG/PG-13 for mild bestiality, sketchy fashion choices, and adult themes. Any feedback welcome, whether or not you like it, but no flames plz!
It all began with Diefenbaker nosing around a wishing-well. It was a fundraiser for charity at the mall, with a sparkly rainbow hanging above it.
"Stop that, you'll fall in!" chided Fraser.
Dief gave him a look.
"Fine, very well then, if you're going to be like that, here." Fraser flipped a penny into the air; as it sparkled and fell, still turning, Dief caught it on his nose. Keeping the nose pointed pertly into the air with the penny balanced, he trotted over to the edge of the well, pulled the front half of his body over the rim, and dropped the penny in.
"Was it donuts, or were you wishing for the favors of your lady friend?" Fraser asked. Dief ignored him and stared into the well. "You know, this superstition reminds me of an Inuit - WOW."
"What's that?" asked Ray, wandering back over from the Mrs. Fields. He'd been trying to get some more information on a suspect who had formerly worked there - current address? cookie preferences? - but he'd only succeeded in being given some free samples to "fatten him up." "Would you believe that cashier called me scrawny?"
"Are those cookies?" asked Fraser.
"Yeah, Fraser, that's what I'm saying - apparently my ass is so scrawny I need fattening up. Am I scrawny?"
"Can I have a cookie?"
"Here." Ray broke off a chunk and passed it along, eating the other half himself. Diefenbaker whined.
"No, no cookies for you today," Ray said. "I don’t want to piss Fraser off."
"This is a great cookie!" Fraser said.
"I'm, uh, glad you like it."
"Can we get more soon?"
"I got all the information I need from her for now, but yeah, I guess if you really want we can come back here another time."
"That's great!"
"You really like that cookie, huh?" Ray handed him the rest of the cookie in his hand and continued to give him suspicious glances on the ride back to the station. Meanwhile, Dief seemed to be trying to get Ray’s attention, but not in any of the usual ways - after a few barks, he stayed silent, and he didn’t even try to lick Ray’s ear. Instead, he seemed to be thinking. Every so often, he would paw at Ray’s shoulder; each time, Ray looked around, but didn’t see anything special. They stopped at a newsstand, and Dief started pawing at headlines.
"Is this like a, that thing with the letters and the ghosts, a Ouija board?" Dief nodded and went from paper to paper, headline to headline - it looked like he was trying to put together a sentence. "OK, let’s see, you’re saying "HOT BABY" - no? Wait, I’ve got it - "PRESIDENT BLOWS SCORCESE" - no, that’s not it - is this about the case?" Dief shook his head in exasperation.
As they continued to the precinct, Fraser rolled down the window and seemed to enjoy the wind. As soon as they arrived, Frannie rushed up to them.
"Oh, Fraser, thank goodness you’re here! Can you help me with a very important problem?" Her problem was too complicated to explain here, but it meant that she needed a babysitter for Ante that night, and Fraser was the only one she could turn to. To Ray’s surprise, he agreed eagerly.
Ray’s phone rang; it was the Mrs. Fields cashier, and she had new information.
"OK, back to the mall," he said. "You wanna come, Fraser?"
"Back to the cookie place? Sure!"
***
When they got there, the cashier had gone on her lunch break again, so instead, Fraser suggested that they go shopping.
"Like, for clothing?" Ray asked.
"Yes, Ray, I think I need some snappy new threads for tonight."
"So, you’re really excited about helping Francesca out, huh?"
"Oh, yes." Ray was a little sad; after all the time he’d spent telling himself he wasn’t really in love with his partner (maybe just a little crush) he was losing him to his own pretend sister. They went into Marshall Field's. Fraser went straight for the sportswear. He started pulling things off of racks and handing them to Ray, who was soon carrying a pile higher than his head. He looked like a mountain of shirts and pants. Eventually Fraser led him to the fitting rooms - "No, no, over here! To the left!" - to try things on. Ray dropped everything in a heap on the floor of the first room and started to go outside to wait. Fraser was fiddling with his lanyard, looking at it curiously.
"Ray, wait!" he said. "Can you help me undress?"
"Sure, Fraser, I guess so," Ray said. He was confused - was Fraser coming on to him? What about Frannie? While he was pondering these questions, Fraser had tied his hand into a knot with the lanyard. Ray untied him, cursing under his breath, and then helped him out of the Sam Browne and serge. He decided that the Mountie was weird today because of his newly realized love for Francesca. Finally, Fraser was naked (except for his underwear) and the fashion show was ready to begin. The first pair of jeans he tried on was way too tight; they accentuated his firm ass, but he could barely walk. The second pair was too baggy. But the third was just right. Then, he had to decide what color of shirt to wear. Ray had to explain to him several times what color each shirt was - and since when was Fraser color-blind? Something was definitely wrong; he could tell the difference between the colors, but it was as if he didn’t know which name went with which color. He tried on stripes, and plaids, and something very shiny and silky, not too tight or too loose. He was most excited about the last one.
"Please, Ray, can I get it?"
"Fraser, I think that might be a girl’s shirt."
"But can I get it?"
"You have to make your own decisions; I don’t get to tell you how to live your life. Whoever - I mean whatever you want, you should go for it, because life is short and you only live once."
Fraser beamed. "I’m keeping it!" He pranced out of the fitting room. Ray gathered up the discarded uniform in his arms, making sure that he had everything; Fraser had almost made it out of the store before Ray caught up to him.
"Fraser, what’s going on? You need to pay for that! You can't just walk out of here wearing it!"
Fraser looked at him inquisitively. "Can you take care of that? I’m getting hungry, and I need to see Ante soon." Ray’s heart fell. Fraser didn’t care about him at all; he was just using him to buy him clothing so he would look good for Frannie. He went and paid.
The car was quiet on the drive away from the mall; Ray was sad, and Fraser seemed too excited to talk. He kept rubbing at the shiny fabric of his shirt. When they got to the Vecchio house, Frannie rushed outside and leaned in the window of the car to talk to Fraser.
"Thank you so much for doing this! I can’t believe what a lifesaver you are. Make yourself at home; if I’m out too late, you can go ahead and sleep in my bed, I don’t mind. I have to run, bye!" She drove away.
"Well, uh, Frase, I guess you’re set here, huh?" Ray said.
"Yes, Ante and I will have fun," Fraser answered as he climbed out of the car with a spring in his step.
"See you later, then," Ray said, watching him walk into the house. He pulled slowly away.
***
Once Fraser (who was really Dief!) was alone in the Vecchio house, he looked for Ante. She was asleep under a chair, so he decided to go find some food first. He helped himself to some bacon first, and then decided to learn about some new food products. Ice cream was good, but a little too cold for the weather. It took him a while to figure out how to get the cap off the beer bottle; he finally remembered what a bottle opener looked like. He took a gulp and spit it out; it was gross! But he kept sipping at it, to see if it got better. Soon he was feeling good. He grabbed a bag of tortilla chips and ate them by the handful; as he went back to find Ante, he grabbed a few dog biscuits and nibbled one of those, too. The poodle was still asleep, snoring adorably; he knelt down on the floor next to her and poked her in the belly. She woke with a start and jumped to her feet.
"HI!" said Fraser. "Want to play?" She looked at him dubiously. "We could sniff stuff!" He demonstrated, crawling along the floor and nosing bits of lint. She started following him. He turned around and held out one of the dog biscuits. "Hey, baby, want one of these?" he asked. She snapped it out of his fingers.
As she chewed, he looked around the room for more fun. In a flash of inspiration, he grabbed a pillow off of the couch, held it by one corner, and waved it around. When she had finished eating, Ante grabbed the other end in her teeth; they played tug of war for several minutes.
"So, you want to take a rest?" Fraser asked. "We could just lie down over here…" He reclined on the couch and patted his lap. Ante looked confused; he pulled another dog biscuit out from his pocket and held it out to her. She trotted over to him; he started to pull the biscuit out of reach. "C’mon, baby, right up here," he said, patting his lap again. She climbed up and finally he gave her the biscuit.
"So, how are you liking living here?" he asked. "Seems like kind of a drag for a sweet thing like you…"
***
When Ray got back to his apartment, he found Diefenbaker waiting on the doorstep.
"Hey, buddy, how ya doing?" Ray asked. Dief looked like he wanted to whine, but was forbearing. "I guess I see why Fraser didn’t take you along tonight, but it kind of sucks for you to be alone." Dief followed Ray upstairs and trotted into the apartment after him.
"You want anything to eat?" Ray opened the fridge and started pulling things onto the counter. "I’m gonna have cold pizza and beer, dinner of the lonely; you want some?" Dief looked pointedly at the microwave. "OK, yeah, I can heat yours up. Since when did you get so picky?" Soon the pizza was ready. Ray slouched down on the couch, and Dief climbed up next to him. He turned on the game and sat glumly, not really watching.
"It’s like he’s forgotten about both of us, you know? Suddenly all he can think about is Frannie or whatever, looking good for her - I mean, I know he’s a helpful kind of guy, and he wasn’t going to say no when she asked him for a favor, but I think he might actually really like her. I don’t understand, he’s never been interested before; I guess I don’t really know him at all." Diefenbaker barked and shook his head. Ray turned his head to look at him; they stared at each other intently for several seconds, and then Dief reached out a paw tentatively, to give Ray a comforting pat on the knee.
Ray started stroking Dief’s head; the animal’s eyes fluttered shut in pleasure. "I’m glad I have you, at least. I still can’t understand what’s going on with Fraser, though; I thought we were buddies, I thought we were partners, but he’s treating me like I barely exist, like all I am is a car and a credit card. And, I mean, I was starting to think that I really cared about him, that I might even - oh, why am I telling you this? I don’t even know whether you can hear me." Dief opened his eyes and pawed at Ray’s leg. Suddenly, the phone rang. Ray jumped from the couch to answer it.
"Frannie? What is it? What are you talking about?"
***
"And then I found him!" Frannie was crying hysterically. The neighbors were poking their noses out from behind the curtains, trying to spy on what was going on.
"Hey, hey, calm down and tell me what’s going on," Ray said, awkwardly patting her on the shoulder.
"I thought I knew him! But then, there he was, being all, all, unnatural!"
Diefenbaker jumped out of the car, where Ray had left him, through the window. He came up to Ray and started barking.
"Yeah, Fraser’s been a little weird lately," Ray admitted. "I didn’t think anyone else had noticed."
"Weird? This is beyond weird! I don’t know if this kind of thing’s ok in Canada, but it’s just - just-" She collapsed into tears again.
"I have no idea what you’re talking about. Why don’t you tell me? Was he, um, cooking something?" Frannie continued crying. "What’s unnatural? Did he mend your clothes or something? Was he wearing your clothes? Maybe he was just practicing, in case he needs to go undercover as a woman again."
"No, it’s who he was with!"
"Wait, was he, like, you know, with a man?" Maybe Fraser didn’t love Frannie after all! Maybe there was hope for Ray!
"No, he had Ante -"
Suddenly, a mall security vehicle pulled up. "Excuse me, miss, is there some kind of problem?" asked the guard, climbing out of the car.
"Oh, yes, officer!" Frannie said.
"Hey, Frannie, you know you already have a real police officer here, right?" Ray protested.
"We’ve been having some issues with our wishing well lately," said the guard, pulling a large, round canister from the car. "This should take care of it; could you bring out anyone affected?" Just then, Ante came running out of the house, with Fraser following; Dief went up to them and grabbed the hem of Fraser’s jeans in his teeth.
"This everyone?" said the guard. When everyone stared at him, mystified, he said, "Well, we’ll give it a try." He opened the canister and tossed its contents forward; pink, sparkly dust flew through the air, diffuse and then swirling in spirals, like far-away galaxies. Ray and Frannie stared at it, mesmerized, as it twisted into tighter streams. Slowly, most of it settled on Fraser and Diefenbaker. They started glowing, in kind of a sparkly way, and their bodies were vibrating, almost flickering in and out of this plane of existence. There was a flash of light, and everything seemed back to normal. Ray and Frannie looked around; hadn’t there been some kind of security guard here just now? Or had they imagined that? And why was there pink glitter in their hair?
"Excuse me, may I ask a question?" Fraser asked, rubbing his eyebrow. Ray and Frannie turned to look at him. "You see, I’m afraid to admit that I seem to have suffered from some sort of amnesia or loss of time; the last thing I remember is being at the shopping center. Ray, you had just gone over to Mrs. Fields' cookie establishment, and Diefenbaker, you were planning to investigate a ridiculous wishing well display."
"Well, see, there was - wait, I can’t remember anything since then, either!" Ray said.
"Me, either!" Frannie said. "I thought I did, but now it’s all fuzzy, like a dream. Do you ever have dreams like that, Fraser?"
"I can’t say that I do. Perhaps we had better get home, Diefenbaker; it looks like it’s getting late." They started walking away.
"Don’t you want a ride?" Ray asked, but they were already gone. It was just as well; he felt like he’d been through the wringer today, whatever had happened, and he wanted to go home, watch the late show, and get some sleep. He said good night to Frannie, who looked about as shaken as he was. As he got into the car, he looked up and saw the first star of the evening. Silently, he made a wish for his heart’s desire. He had never really believed in all that superstitious stuff, but suddenly he had a feeling that tomorrow might be his lucky day.
Prompt: Fraser and Dief switch bodies. What whacky hijinks ensue when wolf-Fraser makes moon eyes at Kowalski and Frannie needs a sitter for Ante? Set to a Nine Inch Nails "Closer" if it were covered by Weird Al.
Prompt written by: moosesal
rating/warnings/etc: PG/PG-13 for mild bestiality, sketchy fashion choices, and adult themes. Any feedback welcome, whether or not you like it, but no flames plz!
It all began with Diefenbaker nosing around a wishing-well. It was a fundraiser for charity at the mall, with a sparkly rainbow hanging above it.
"Stop that, you'll fall in!" chided Fraser.
Dief gave him a look.
"Fine, very well then, if you're going to be like that, here." Fraser flipped a penny into the air; as it sparkled and fell, still turning, Dief caught it on his nose. Keeping the nose pointed pertly into the air with the penny balanced, he trotted over to the edge of the well, pulled the front half of his body over the rim, and dropped the penny in.
"Was it donuts, or were you wishing for the favors of your lady friend?" Fraser asked. Dief ignored him and stared into the well. "You know, this superstition reminds me of an Inuit - WOW."
"What's that?" asked Ray, wandering back over from the Mrs. Fields. He'd been trying to get some more information on a suspect who had formerly worked there - current address? cookie preferences? - but he'd only succeeded in being given some free samples to "fatten him up." "Would you believe that cashier called me scrawny?"
"Are those cookies?" asked Fraser.
"Yeah, Fraser, that's what I'm saying - apparently my ass is so scrawny I need fattening up. Am I scrawny?"
"Can I have a cookie?"
"Here." Ray broke off a chunk and passed it along, eating the other half himself. Diefenbaker whined.
"No, no cookies for you today," Ray said. "I don’t want to piss Fraser off."
"This is a great cookie!" Fraser said.
"I'm, uh, glad you like it."
"Can we get more soon?"
"I got all the information I need from her for now, but yeah, I guess if you really want we can come back here another time."
"That's great!"
"You really like that cookie, huh?" Ray handed him the rest of the cookie in his hand and continued to give him suspicious glances on the ride back to the station. Meanwhile, Dief seemed to be trying to get Ray’s attention, but not in any of the usual ways - after a few barks, he stayed silent, and he didn’t even try to lick Ray’s ear. Instead, he seemed to be thinking. Every so often, he would paw at Ray’s shoulder; each time, Ray looked around, but didn’t see anything special. They stopped at a newsstand, and Dief started pawing at headlines.
"Is this like a, that thing with the letters and the ghosts, a Ouija board?" Dief nodded and went from paper to paper, headline to headline - it looked like he was trying to put together a sentence. "OK, let’s see, you’re saying "HOT BABY" - no? Wait, I’ve got it - "PRESIDENT BLOWS SCORCESE" - no, that’s not it - is this about the case?" Dief shook his head in exasperation.
As they continued to the precinct, Fraser rolled down the window and seemed to enjoy the wind. As soon as they arrived, Frannie rushed up to them.
"Oh, Fraser, thank goodness you’re here! Can you help me with a very important problem?" Her problem was too complicated to explain here, but it meant that she needed a babysitter for Ante that night, and Fraser was the only one she could turn to. To Ray’s surprise, he agreed eagerly.
Ray’s phone rang; it was the Mrs. Fields cashier, and she had new information.
"OK, back to the mall," he said. "You wanna come, Fraser?"
"Back to the cookie place? Sure!"
***
When they got there, the cashier had gone on her lunch break again, so instead, Fraser suggested that they go shopping.
"Like, for clothing?" Ray asked.
"Yes, Ray, I think I need some snappy new threads for tonight."
"So, you’re really excited about helping Francesca out, huh?"
"Oh, yes." Ray was a little sad; after all the time he’d spent telling himself he wasn’t really in love with his partner (maybe just a little crush) he was losing him to his own pretend sister. They went into Marshall Field's. Fraser went straight for the sportswear. He started pulling things off of racks and handing them to Ray, who was soon carrying a pile higher than his head. He looked like a mountain of shirts and pants. Eventually Fraser led him to the fitting rooms - "No, no, over here! To the left!" - to try things on. Ray dropped everything in a heap on the floor of the first room and started to go outside to wait. Fraser was fiddling with his lanyard, looking at it curiously.
"Ray, wait!" he said. "Can you help me undress?"
"Sure, Fraser, I guess so," Ray said. He was confused - was Fraser coming on to him? What about Frannie? While he was pondering these questions, Fraser had tied his hand into a knot with the lanyard. Ray untied him, cursing under his breath, and then helped him out of the Sam Browne and serge. He decided that the Mountie was weird today because of his newly realized love for Francesca. Finally, Fraser was naked (except for his underwear) and the fashion show was ready to begin. The first pair of jeans he tried on was way too tight; they accentuated his firm ass, but he could barely walk. The second pair was too baggy. But the third was just right. Then, he had to decide what color of shirt to wear. Ray had to explain to him several times what color each shirt was - and since when was Fraser color-blind? Something was definitely wrong; he could tell the difference between the colors, but it was as if he didn’t know which name went with which color. He tried on stripes, and plaids, and something very shiny and silky, not too tight or too loose. He was most excited about the last one.
"Please, Ray, can I get it?"
"Fraser, I think that might be a girl’s shirt."
"But can I get it?"
"You have to make your own decisions; I don’t get to tell you how to live your life. Whoever - I mean whatever you want, you should go for it, because life is short and you only live once."
Fraser beamed. "I’m keeping it!" He pranced out of the fitting room. Ray gathered up the discarded uniform in his arms, making sure that he had everything; Fraser had almost made it out of the store before Ray caught up to him.
"Fraser, what’s going on? You need to pay for that! You can't just walk out of here wearing it!"
Fraser looked at him inquisitively. "Can you take care of that? I’m getting hungry, and I need to see Ante soon." Ray’s heart fell. Fraser didn’t care about him at all; he was just using him to buy him clothing so he would look good for Frannie. He went and paid.
The car was quiet on the drive away from the mall; Ray was sad, and Fraser seemed too excited to talk. He kept rubbing at the shiny fabric of his shirt. When they got to the Vecchio house, Frannie rushed outside and leaned in the window of the car to talk to Fraser.
"Thank you so much for doing this! I can’t believe what a lifesaver you are. Make yourself at home; if I’m out too late, you can go ahead and sleep in my bed, I don’t mind. I have to run, bye!" She drove away.
"Well, uh, Frase, I guess you’re set here, huh?" Ray said.
"Yes, Ante and I will have fun," Fraser answered as he climbed out of the car with a spring in his step.
"See you later, then," Ray said, watching him walk into the house. He pulled slowly away.
***
Once Fraser (who was really Dief!) was alone in the Vecchio house, he looked for Ante. She was asleep under a chair, so he decided to go find some food first. He helped himself to some bacon first, and then decided to learn about some new food products. Ice cream was good, but a little too cold for the weather. It took him a while to figure out how to get the cap off the beer bottle; he finally remembered what a bottle opener looked like. He took a gulp and spit it out; it was gross! But he kept sipping at it, to see if it got better. Soon he was feeling good. He grabbed a bag of tortilla chips and ate them by the handful; as he went back to find Ante, he grabbed a few dog biscuits and nibbled one of those, too. The poodle was still asleep, snoring adorably; he knelt down on the floor next to her and poked her in the belly. She woke with a start and jumped to her feet.
"HI!" said Fraser. "Want to play?" She looked at him dubiously. "We could sniff stuff!" He demonstrated, crawling along the floor and nosing bits of lint. She started following him. He turned around and held out one of the dog biscuits. "Hey, baby, want one of these?" he asked. She snapped it out of his fingers.
As she chewed, he looked around the room for more fun. In a flash of inspiration, he grabbed a pillow off of the couch, held it by one corner, and waved it around. When she had finished eating, Ante grabbed the other end in her teeth; they played tug of war for several minutes.
"So, you want to take a rest?" Fraser asked. "We could just lie down over here…" He reclined on the couch and patted his lap. Ante looked confused; he pulled another dog biscuit out from his pocket and held it out to her. She trotted over to him; he started to pull the biscuit out of reach. "C’mon, baby, right up here," he said, patting his lap again. She climbed up and finally he gave her the biscuit.
"So, how are you liking living here?" he asked. "Seems like kind of a drag for a sweet thing like you…"
***
When Ray got back to his apartment, he found Diefenbaker waiting on the doorstep.
"Hey, buddy, how ya doing?" Ray asked. Dief looked like he wanted to whine, but was forbearing. "I guess I see why Fraser didn’t take you along tonight, but it kind of sucks for you to be alone." Dief followed Ray upstairs and trotted into the apartment after him.
"You want anything to eat?" Ray opened the fridge and started pulling things onto the counter. "I’m gonna have cold pizza and beer, dinner of the lonely; you want some?" Dief looked pointedly at the microwave. "OK, yeah, I can heat yours up. Since when did you get so picky?" Soon the pizza was ready. Ray slouched down on the couch, and Dief climbed up next to him. He turned on the game and sat glumly, not really watching.
"It’s like he’s forgotten about both of us, you know? Suddenly all he can think about is Frannie or whatever, looking good for her - I mean, I know he’s a helpful kind of guy, and he wasn’t going to say no when she asked him for a favor, but I think he might actually really like her. I don’t understand, he’s never been interested before; I guess I don’t really know him at all." Diefenbaker barked and shook his head. Ray turned his head to look at him; they stared at each other intently for several seconds, and then Dief reached out a paw tentatively, to give Ray a comforting pat on the knee.
Ray started stroking Dief’s head; the animal’s eyes fluttered shut in pleasure. "I’m glad I have you, at least. I still can’t understand what’s going on with Fraser, though; I thought we were buddies, I thought we were partners, but he’s treating me like I barely exist, like all I am is a car and a credit card. And, I mean, I was starting to think that I really cared about him, that I might even - oh, why am I telling you this? I don’t even know whether you can hear me." Dief opened his eyes and pawed at Ray’s leg. Suddenly, the phone rang. Ray jumped from the couch to answer it.
"Frannie? What is it? What are you talking about?"
***
"And then I found him!" Frannie was crying hysterically. The neighbors were poking their noses out from behind the curtains, trying to spy on what was going on.
"Hey, hey, calm down and tell me what’s going on," Ray said, awkwardly patting her on the shoulder.
"I thought I knew him! But then, there he was, being all, all, unnatural!"
Diefenbaker jumped out of the car, where Ray had left him, through the window. He came up to Ray and started barking.
"Yeah, Fraser’s been a little weird lately," Ray admitted. "I didn’t think anyone else had noticed."
"Weird? This is beyond weird! I don’t know if this kind of thing’s ok in Canada, but it’s just - just-" She collapsed into tears again.
"I have no idea what you’re talking about. Why don’t you tell me? Was he, um, cooking something?" Frannie continued crying. "What’s unnatural? Did he mend your clothes or something? Was he wearing your clothes? Maybe he was just practicing, in case he needs to go undercover as a woman again."
"No, it’s who he was with!"
"Wait, was he, like, you know, with a man?" Maybe Fraser didn’t love Frannie after all! Maybe there was hope for Ray!
"No, he had Ante -"
Suddenly, a mall security vehicle pulled up. "Excuse me, miss, is there some kind of problem?" asked the guard, climbing out of the car.
"Oh, yes, officer!" Frannie said.
"Hey, Frannie, you know you already have a real police officer here, right?" Ray protested.
"We’ve been having some issues with our wishing well lately," said the guard, pulling a large, round canister from the car. "This should take care of it; could you bring out anyone affected?" Just then, Ante came running out of the house, with Fraser following; Dief went up to them and grabbed the hem of Fraser’s jeans in his teeth.
"This everyone?" said the guard. When everyone stared at him, mystified, he said, "Well, we’ll give it a try." He opened the canister and tossed its contents forward; pink, sparkly dust flew through the air, diffuse and then swirling in spirals, like far-away galaxies. Ray and Frannie stared at it, mesmerized, as it twisted into tighter streams. Slowly, most of it settled on Fraser and Diefenbaker. They started glowing, in kind of a sparkly way, and their bodies were vibrating, almost flickering in and out of this plane of existence. There was a flash of light, and everything seemed back to normal. Ray and Frannie looked around; hadn’t there been some kind of security guard here just now? Or had they imagined that? And why was there pink glitter in their hair?
"Excuse me, may I ask a question?" Fraser asked, rubbing his eyebrow. Ray and Frannie turned to look at him. "You see, I’m afraid to admit that I seem to have suffered from some sort of amnesia or loss of time; the last thing I remember is being at the shopping center. Ray, you had just gone over to Mrs. Fields' cookie establishment, and Diefenbaker, you were planning to investigate a ridiculous wishing well display."
"Well, see, there was - wait, I can’t remember anything since then, either!" Ray said.
"Me, either!" Frannie said. "I thought I did, but now it’s all fuzzy, like a dream. Do you ever have dreams like that, Fraser?"
"I can’t say that I do. Perhaps we had better get home, Diefenbaker; it looks like it’s getting late." They started walking away.
"Don’t you want a ride?" Ray asked, but they were already gone. It was just as well; he felt like he’d been through the wringer today, whatever had happened, and he wanted to go home, watch the late show, and get some sleep. He said good night to Frannie, who looked about as shaken as he was. As he got into the car, he looked up and saw the first star of the evening. Silently, he made a wish for his heart’s desire. He had never really believed in all that superstitious stuff, but suddenly he had a feeling that tomorrow might be his lucky day.