I must be cracking up
yea so today I'm driving along in the car listening to good ol' blink 182 and "miss you" comes on. one of dylan and my songs. I smiled and laughed. I remembered how we used to sing together in the car and talk about our random thoughts and nothing else mattered. I remembered feeling completely "at home" with him. remembered that a year ago, we used to be so close that the Lord himself couldnt pull us away. A few songs later, "I'm Lost Without You" came on. It made me cry of course, but it also made me wonder if I am "lost" without him. maybe this is why as soon as a guy starts falling for me I break away and freak out. Maybe I am more afraid than I thought. I miss dylan like crazy. but I dont think I would get back with him if that ever came up. He hurt me way too bad for me to ever want to be with him ever again. The things I miss are:
-holding his hand when I'm out places... it made me feel safe.
-how he knew everything about me
-the sound of his voice, made me smile everytime
-tell me he loved me, when he actually meant it
-kissing him gave me butterflies
-being in his arms, I knew I was his one and only.
-his heart beating next to mine.
One of the sweetest things dylan ever said to me was "Katie, I have a really big heart, and it all belongs to you baby girl." yea lame to some, but amazing to me. I haven't spoken to him in a month. And I think it's best that I don't talk to him for a long time. good for me anyways. I've met guys, really nice guys. guys that would give me the world on a platter if I asked them. but I runaway from them. I dont know why, but I do. BUT with Jon it's different. I duno, it's like I do like him and I kinda want to be with him. but in my head, I know it wouldn't work out. but why would he be on my mind almost all the time if he wasn't supposed to be there? Jon's in my head for a reason. or it's my pituitary gland's fault lol. but seriously I like him. He's got bad boy written all over him. He hasn't gone on and on about how great he could be for me and how happy he could make me. (I hate that, it's like guys try to bribe me) But Jon is just himself. I mean he hasn't gone out of the way to do something super sweet, but when I'm around him, I'm happy. and honestly, I'm too afraid to tell him how much I care about him. I don't want him to "runaway" like I do. I'm tired and probably not making any sense.
-holding his hand when I'm out places... it made me feel safe.
-how he knew everything about me
-the sound of his voice, made me smile everytime
-tell me he loved me, when he actually meant it
-kissing him gave me butterflies
-being in his arms, I knew I was his one and only.
-his heart beating next to mine.
One of the sweetest things dylan ever said to me was "Katie, I have a really big heart, and it all belongs to you baby girl." yea lame to some, but amazing to me. I haven't spoken to him in a month. And I think it's best that I don't talk to him for a long time. good for me anyways. I've met guys, really nice guys. guys that would give me the world on a platter if I asked them. but I runaway from them. I dont know why, but I do. BUT with Jon it's different. I duno, it's like I do like him and I kinda want to be with him. but in my head, I know it wouldn't work out. but why would he be on my mind almost all the time if he wasn't supposed to be there? Jon's in my head for a reason. or it's my pituitary gland's fault lol. but seriously I like him. He's got bad boy written all over him. He hasn't gone on and on about how great he could be for me and how happy he could make me. (I hate that, it's like guys try to bribe me) But Jon is just himself. I mean he hasn't gone out of the way to do something super sweet, but when I'm around him, I'm happy. and honestly, I'm too afraid to tell him how much I care about him. I don't want him to "runaway" like I do. I'm tired and probably not making any sense.