the train wreck continues
well I have completely fucked up. I now have another guy completely head over heels for me. again. fucking A. I don't know how this happens. There is no sex, no kissing, no touching, no nothing. and I have this guy absolutely nutzo about me. what the fuck. seriously I liked him a little bit. We have fun together. But I only want him as a friend and nothing else. I was upfront. I said I didnt want a boyfriend. I said I didnt want to be serious. I said I want to be me for a while. but he has it in his head that we might be together one day. jesus christ. first logan and now this guy? omg what the fuck. I asked him why he likes me so damn much and he was like "you're awesome. you have a great personality and you can actually carry on a conversation. plus you're attractive." oh god what am I going to do? seriously? I feel so fucking stupid and idiotic right now and it's not even funny. fuck. I should not be stressing out about this shit. at all. fuck fuck fuck fuck. I'm quitting TRU ASAP. I will drag my sorry ass back to Joanns if thats what it takes. damnit. I feel terrible. This is all my fault. I feel like calling in and saying I'm sick and never show up again. fuck fuck fuck. I'm so on edge. I want to scream till no sound comes out and cry till I cant cry anymore. I'm sorry he likes me so much. I'm sorry I dont like him that way. fffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuucccccccccccccccccckkkkkkkk. damnit I'm such a fucking screw up. and on another note. I feel like I'm never going to find the right guy. The one I know is the right one. I dont want to be in a relationship because I'm scared, thank you dylan. I dont want to get dropped again. I dont want to get cheated on. I dont want someone to leave me for good like he did. fuck. fuck guys fuck work. fuck the world. I'm done. forget finding that special someone, because obviously he's not going to be showing up anytime soon. Guys can all be strictly friends. that's it. no more than that. I'm done feeling like shit and hurting people. and I'm done being hurt myself. I feel like I'm suffocating and being held back. I'm a fucking butterfly god damnit you cant hold me down. I need room to fly and explore. jksndfiouljhf vn nerjofjdnvklnoinvonsofnswoievnoswnevoiswnevoiswneoignweoignwosiengoiwsjgionewvr ewnvowsjev
fuck this fuckin shit. damnit I hate being this stressed out. I havent been this stressed in a long fuckin time. and look what happens to me. I'm on the verge of exploding. I'm ready to scream. I hate myself so much for doing this to myself. I feel crazy. wtf. ok I'm done ranting for now. I have to go to the shit hole called work. fuck this shit.
KATE IS NOT SO GREAT.
fuck this fuckin shit. damnit I hate being this stressed out. I havent been this stressed in a long fuckin time. and look what happens to me. I'm on the verge of exploding. I'm ready to scream. I hate myself so much for doing this to myself. I feel crazy. wtf. ok I'm done ranting for now. I have to go to the shit hole called work. fuck this shit.
KATE IS NOT SO GREAT.