And I’ll stay here with you…
Originally published at Dancin' In The Wind.... Please leave any comments there.
Okay. so real update? indeed.
Yesterday was pretty…surreal in a sense. Very intense.
I woke up around noonish, and no one was home. That was no surprise, as I knew my mom was going to go down to my grandparents to stay with my Grandpa while my Grandma went to the dentist. And I figured my dad was down there, or outside, or whatever.
…So about 30 minutes later, things just feel really weird. So I decide to call down to my grandparents to ask my mom if I could go down there (knowing it would be fine, but still…felt the need to call for some reason).
Sooooo I get on the phone, and my mom ends up telling me that my Grandpa pretty much couldn’t breathe yesterday morning, and all of this stuff went on…and yea.
I go down there, and sure enough, the hospice nurse is out there making sure he’s okay and everything. He got settled down, but yea. I was rather irked that no one bothered to inform me that Grandpa couldn’t breathe, but when I realized how…sudden everything was, I understood.
I ended up spending all day up there. And by all day, I pretty much mean 7 hours. He was in bad shape, but started to get better. They ordered him some oxygen and a hospital bed. They got there around 6. In that sense, hospice is amazing- getting things out so fast.
Then today *sighs* there was no understatement in “very few easy days”.
My mom comes in around 4am letting me know that my Grandpa had gotten up, and was just kinda stuck where he was, so her and my dad went down there to help my uncle who had stayed the night with them. At some point not long after 4 I woke up from some crazy weird dream, and it just so happened that my dad was coming in at that time. He told me my Grandpa had started throwing up, so they were calling the night nurse.
I decided to go down.
The nurse got there a while after we did. I went in another room and tried to sleep. That was a joke. I heard my Grandma say that today was their 56th anniversary, and I lost it. I just laid back there bawling. That was good though, in a sense. The whole “not seriously crying” over this thing was bugging me. But it just made things so real. Realizing that he’s this miserable on his anniversary…but yet we’re just so happy that he made it to their anniversary.
He got *so* sick while we were up there too…it was miserable. He looked pretty bad when we left around 8ish.
My Grandma went over and told him happy anniversary, and he kinda…perked up and said “oh…it is…I’m sorry about doing this…”, what I’m assuming would be him referring to getting so sick this morning. It’s just…sad.
I realized the other day that he used to be so…jokeful. He was always making some stupid comment. Like…10 minutes wouldn’t go by when he wouldn’t do something stupid- and nothing big- but just like, bop you on the head as he walked by or whatever. I realized that he hasn’t done that for months.
But yesterday, while we were sitting up there, he hadn’t gotten his bed yet, so he was in the chair, and he looked over at me and thought that I was asleep, and I happened to turn around, and he said something along the lines of “I missed you! I was gonna scare you- you’re too fast for me!” or something like that.
As lame as it sounds- that meant the world to me, since I had *just* been thinking about that.
Things have reached a totally new level. He could breathe pretty well even just…5 days ago. Not now. He can hardly move any little bit without having to really recover from it, and catch his breath.
So yes. Things have changed. Life is different. Priorities have shifted.
Like I said in the ‘mini-entry’. Stupid things. Piddly things. Gone. My priorities as of now:
God
Grandparents
Family
School.
I only put school in there as it’s due the 30th, and I fail if it’s not in by 9-30. So it needs to be on the list, but it’s not too high right now. Pick it up every now and then until it’s done, definitely…there are bigger things, and tons of time after those bigger things pass though.
I’ve been listening to Mr. Joel’s Fragile all week. How cliche. It’s so fitting though. So, so fitting.
56 years. That is an accomplishment.
