[13 of 100] Wedding Brain
For a long time, people would ask me how the wedding planning was going and I'd say "Oh, fine. We have a venue and a cake lady and a photographer and an officiant and I'll think about the rest of it later."
Then suddenly it was later. Now we're down to the under-three-month mark and I've been spending a lot of time and energy getting details squared away. You know, little things, like, I don't know PLANNING THE CEREMONY (that's going to get started tomorrow) and reserving room blocks and fainting at the cost of flowers. But I got the rehearsal dinner figured out this week, or at least part of it, and the invitations arrive this week and we bought the tickets for our honeymoon yesterday, so overall I feel like things are coming together. I figure if I do a big push right now I can call my neurons back from the realm of wedding logisticating long enough to get through the semester.
I'm also discovering that it really IS easier, not to mention less expensive, to do a bunch of these things myself. There is very little about this wedding that I feel a burning need to have be just so. That fact gives me a lot of freedom to just not worry about it. Hair, for example. I want something soft, up, and with a center part so that I can wear the tikka properly. I don't want anything elaborate because I'm going to be wearing a bright red sari and a pound of costume jewelery. Yesterday, with the help of tornadogrrrl , I realized that I can do a soft, center-part bun, which is traditional for Indian brides, all by myself without paying anybody any money to do it at all. I can spend $15 on bobby pins with rhinestones in them and hairspray that doesn't smell nasty and voila, no need for expensive stylist appointments and I can have the freedom to do my hair whenever I want day-of and thus take control of my own schedule. Nice.
As I said to my mom yesterday, I'm working hard to keep my priorities for this event in good order. What are Tish and I promising to each other? How can I make the weekend, and the energy we're putting into it, a model for the life we want to live together? How can I balance life energy with money expenditures? How can I make sure everybody eats well? How can I honor the people who are helping us, and the people who are traveling to be present when we make our public commitment to each other? What can I let go of to make sure that this event remains fun, joyful, and celebratory? If I can keep this stuff straight, then I Win. My relationship Wins. Maybe my wedding guests even Win. And that would be pretty cool.
Then suddenly it was later. Now we're down to the under-three-month mark and I've been spending a lot of time and energy getting details squared away. You know, little things, like, I don't know PLANNING THE CEREMONY (that's going to get started tomorrow) and reserving room blocks and fainting at the cost of flowers. But I got the rehearsal dinner figured out this week, or at least part of it, and the invitations arrive this week and we bought the tickets for our honeymoon yesterday, so overall I feel like things are coming together. I figure if I do a big push right now I can call my neurons back from the realm of wedding logisticating long enough to get through the semester.
I'm also discovering that it really IS easier, not to mention less expensive, to do a bunch of these things myself. There is very little about this wedding that I feel a burning need to have be just so. That fact gives me a lot of freedom to just not worry about it. Hair, for example. I want something soft, up, and with a center part so that I can wear the tikka properly. I don't want anything elaborate because I'm going to be wearing a bright red sari and a pound of costume jewelery. Yesterday, with the help of tornadogrrrl , I realized that I can do a soft, center-part bun, which is traditional for Indian brides, all by myself without paying anybody any money to do it at all. I can spend $15 on bobby pins with rhinestones in them and hairspray that doesn't smell nasty and voila, no need for expensive stylist appointments and I can have the freedom to do my hair whenever I want day-of and thus take control of my own schedule. Nice.
As I said to my mom yesterday, I'm working hard to keep my priorities for this event in good order. What are Tish and I promising to each other? How can I make the weekend, and the energy we're putting into it, a model for the life we want to live together? How can I balance life energy with money expenditures? How can I make sure everybody eats well? How can I honor the people who are helping us, and the people who are traveling to be present when we make our public commitment to each other? What can I let go of to make sure that this event remains fun, joyful, and celebratory? If I can keep this stuff straight, then I Win. My relationship Wins. Maybe my wedding guests even Win. And that would be pretty cool.