Long drawn out thoughts... I'm so good at these...
You think you're in love again, really doesn't surprise me. You told him you loved him, and he told you the same... you made it okay somehow to confess it with a twist of phrasing. You're good at that, you make it discreet to tell him and give him permission to say it back without it seeming too vulnerable. He says those things, god you want to believe them too...
He told you he wants to get serious sometimes, and sometimes he doesn't, but part of him knows he needs to take a chance once in a while. I understand the issues, the worry about fighting at work and ugliness. It's true enough though, that it's easy to destroy a relationship before it even starts by worrying about the ending. That's true of about anything.
I watched The Weatherman, and the line that made so much sense to me for some reason had to do with the word easy not coming into play as an adult. None of the important decisions you make as an adult, are easy. Usually the right decision, and the difficult decision are the same one. Doing the right thing is sometimes hard.
So where have I gotten myself? Let's roll the tape... I'm seeing this guy, he's younger than me, but is that so bad really? It's worked alright for 2 of my brothers, to be younger than their wives. *laughs* Maybe not 6 years... haven't checked with them on age differences, but really, age matters less and less the older you get. It has more to do with maturity than age doesn't it? Common interests? Someone to hold as you get older.
He loves to be held, and God I love that... I love that he likes to cuddle, to be close, to tease, to play. I love all of it, innocence, and curiosity, and naughtiness, and experimenting with all those things that people do when they look at each other and say "Hmm...well what about you then? Do you think you fit here? With me?" He loves music, and so do I, he loves kids, neither of us may be able to have them, but ya know, I'm okay with that and I think he is too. It's this strange "well, if it happens... okay."
We decided over the weekend, to go ahead and move in together, and it felt so "yeah, let's try it. What's the worst that can happen anyway?" It's true enough, and really it's cheaper and more comfortable NOT to live alone. I don't like alone, I'm not safe, *laughs* and with as much as he comes over now, he might as well live with me don't you think?
So to review, I'm in love *I think* , I'm gonna move in with him *I think* and maybe, if I let him, he might be the one. I think he's ready to see if I'm the one too. It isn't so bad, all of it. Things change, they might change again, but I decided it's okay to document the present, changes or not.
He told you he wants to get serious sometimes, and sometimes he doesn't, but part of him knows he needs to take a chance once in a while. I understand the issues, the worry about fighting at work and ugliness. It's true enough though, that it's easy to destroy a relationship before it even starts by worrying about the ending. That's true of about anything.
I watched The Weatherman, and the line that made so much sense to me for some reason had to do with the word easy not coming into play as an adult. None of the important decisions you make as an adult, are easy. Usually the right decision, and the difficult decision are the same one. Doing the right thing is sometimes hard.
So where have I gotten myself? Let's roll the tape... I'm seeing this guy, he's younger than me, but is that so bad really? It's worked alright for 2 of my brothers, to be younger than their wives. *laughs* Maybe not 6 years... haven't checked with them on age differences, but really, age matters less and less the older you get. It has more to do with maturity than age doesn't it? Common interests? Someone to hold as you get older.
He loves to be held, and God I love that... I love that he likes to cuddle, to be close, to tease, to play. I love all of it, innocence, and curiosity, and naughtiness, and experimenting with all those things that people do when they look at each other and say "Hmm...well what about you then? Do you think you fit here? With me?" He loves music, and so do I, he loves kids, neither of us may be able to have them, but ya know, I'm okay with that and I think he is too. It's this strange "well, if it happens... okay."
We decided over the weekend, to go ahead and move in together, and it felt so "yeah, let's try it. What's the worst that can happen anyway?" It's true enough, and really it's cheaper and more comfortable NOT to live alone. I don't like alone, I'm not safe, *laughs* and with as much as he comes over now, he might as well live with me don't you think?
So to review, I'm in love *I think* , I'm gonna move in with him *I think* and maybe, if I let him, he might be the one. I think he's ready to see if I'm the one too. It isn't so bad, all of it. Things change, they might change again, but I decided it's okay to document the present, changes or not.