Too Much
well, i haven't writtin in a while so i figured i'd keep this updated. i'm doin good in wieghtlifting, altho sum of my friends on the other sports teams think they are better than me because there pratices are "so much harder" an crap. on of my good friends was upset this morning, she said she was going to committ suicide, an i tried to persuade her out of it, but i don't know if it worked. i hope it did. My other good friend of 9 years is moving monday, an thats kinda made me a lil sad. My brother came over today an used my computer an bought me lunch so that was cool. I gave my mom my phone bill which was like 152 dollars an she flipped out on me... an i know my dads gonna kill me. literally. i'll be lucky if i even have a phone line by the end of this week. she told me to stop calling Joey because i can't afford it.. an that he should call me, but its like why the fuck should he have to pay for it all? its not fair to him. no one understands how much we are in love an they all think its sum phase, or that its just puppy love, which pisses me off because its not. i can't even see him, which makes it really hard to get through each day. i won't even be able to talk to him as much on the phone anymore, an he keeps sayin he will come see me , an i do beleive him, but it just seems so far away thats all. I can't wait to be with him, literally, an theres no chance of me even looking at another guy because hes all i want, an makes me extremely happy. hes at his brothers wedding, haveing a good time hopefully. Maybe i will talk to him later on today.. who knows. i wish all my friends would just get along.. an stop getting so caught up in there own selfishness. they fight about the stupidest things, an after my last few fights wiht my friends i realized life is just to short to waste on stupid things. i'm tired of all of it, of life, of everything i can't have, of being the messenger between people. i just wish that i could leave my life here, in florida, an goto a new one. i have nothing tieing me down here, an plenty calling to me from Indiana. why do i stay? because i'm too chicken to get up an leave, an i don't have enough money at the moment to do that anywayz. everythings slowly falling down, an i'm afriad of Joey leaving me. i have no clue why he would, but it could happen, an if it did i dunno what i'd do. hes my best friend, an the only one i trust, an can talk to these days. My leggs, arms, an everything hurts, i'm tired, an not in a very good mood. all i need is like someone close to me to get hurt or sumthing an i'd have a complete bad day.