Fic Commentary: Five Times Sam Winchester Was Unaware of His Own Hotness (SPN)
A while back I offered to do fanfic commentary. *shifty eyes* I haven't forgotten the requests! ella_menno asked for commentary on Five Times Sam Winchester Was Unaware of His Own Hotness.
Title: Five Times Sam Winchester Was Unaware of His Own Hotness
Author: dotfic
Rating: Gen, PG, Stanford years-present
The fic sort of boils down to being about Sam's awareness of his own sexuality. But in a gen sort of way. No, really!
W/C: 500
Disclaimer: Property of Eric Kripke and The CW.
a/n: Written for the fabulous deirdre_c's birthday, and therefore, there is scaling of fences, among other things. Thank you to the patient pheebs1 for her input.
My commentary is in bold.
I. Waterlogged
Sam headed over to the water fountain. Students sat on the grass in the hot October day, dressed in as little clothing as possible. A frisbee soared by him, and someone had a boom box on loud.
Sam spent, what, three years being a regular guy? (Canon is so confused on the Stanford time frame). Frisbees and hanging out on college lawns and studying. It adds to the poignant, complicated mess that is Sam that he had this. Like a pause on his weird life, and he couldn't keep this, or escape hunting.
Dean would love it.
He may be ambivalent about hunting, but I think Sam missed Dean like crazy and thought about him a lot, seeing things in reference to Dean, imagining how he'd react to various things. In season 1 there was all kinds of tension between them, an awkwardness. It was clear they loved each other, but what we saw was two brothers learning to be *friends* again (and how long had it been since they were friends, I don't know. Maybe Sam's late teen years were a lot of fighting and distance since Sam was moving out of the nest...canon isn't telling, but I do believe they were joined at the hip bff kind of siblings for most of their lives, but not always). I noticed in early seasons how Sam was always poring over the research in bars, and he and Dean never just...went out drinking. In later seasons, we did have them drinking more companionably, although almost always with baggage -- a dying Dean showing Sam how to fix the Impala, or Dean seeing Sam's eyes turn yellow, or Dean and his first Hell revelation, or Sam and Dean telling Bobby they're fine when they're clearly not.
Sam ducked over the basin, dousing his head. When he straightened, water dripped from his hair down the back of his shirt, and he shivered happily.
The notion of wet!Sam makes me want to keyboard mash.
As he jogged back to join the soccer game, he noticed four girls on a blanket, staring at him.
He had no idea why. Probably he looked like a freak, dripping water everywhere.
Sam is THAT guy. The one who will check over his shoulder if he notices a pretty girl staring at him. I am convinced of this. What's interesting to me is how canon shows us he is awkward with women, up to a certain point, but once he gets close enough and gets down to business, pow, he's this self-confident sexass guy. Canon suggests he's adventurous, and a biter. What's also interesting is how Jared Padalecki plays Sam, not so much that he's unaware that he's attractive, but in this self-effacing way that suggests he maybe doesn't think of himself that way, until, again, he gets close and then we see how confident he is. It looks to me like the confidence increased in later seasons. Whereas Dean pretty much wears it on his sleeve, the knowing how pretty he is. Yet both Sam and Dean use their charm and good looks plenty, and know they're doing it. But I think Sam doesn't think of himself that way as much. Whereas in all the videos of his convention appearances, Jared Padalecki is the opposite of Sam -- he always seems to be hanging it out there, enjoys playing to the crowd and being looked at, in a very playful way. It looks like there's the same sort of contrast from Jensen to Dean -- Jensen seems a lot more self-conscious and less look-at-me than Dean does.
II. Studious
She was watching him.
Jess was supposedly studying, her head bent over her poli-sci textbook, long hair tucked in a loose knot at the base of her neck.
But every time Sam glanced up from his book, her eyes were fixed on him. As soon as he met her gaze, her glance snapped back down.
Really, I'd stare at Sam too instead of studying.
"What?" he said finally. He put his hand to his face, wondering if he had food stuck on his chin or something.
See what I mean? No clue. It's adorable. Okay, this is fanfic, but I think it fits with what we've seen of him on screen.
"Nothing," she said.
"What?"
"I like how you look when you're concentrating," she said, and her smile made him feel lit up inside.
This actually makes me go D: because it's really sad, what he lost.
III. Unaware
The bar was crowded, the music loud.
"Dude." Dean nodded. "That girl."
"Huh?"
"She is totally checking you out."
She was cute, curvy and bright-looking. She laughed with friends, her glance going Sam's way.
It was too soon.
Sam scraped back his chair. "Be right back." He jostled into someone. "Sorry."
"That's okay. Place is nuts tonight." The guy was almost as tall as Sam, dark-haired.
"Yeah."
"I'm Chris."
"Sam."
Chris leaned closer, grinning. "We could maybe go somewhere quieter."
It took Sam a moment to get it. "Oh, um, no, sorry?" he managed.
He continued quickly towards the bathrooms.
This whole segment was about Sam being clueless about his attractiveness, but it also amused me to have it be a guy. A whole additional level of obliviousness, as it takes Sam a moment to get that the guy was hitting on him. Also, this was written in July '08, near the tail-end of a time when I had a little bit of a thing for reading Sam/OMC, although this wasn't intended to hint that Sam was interested in Chris back. He's not horrified or shocked, either. Just...embarrassed because it was unexpected.
IV. Stalwart
Sam obediently stood still while an EMT patched up the long gash on his shoulder. Nearby, Dean fed a bullshit story to the cops.
A Winchester getting official medical care from an EMT. That only happened because a well-meaning bystander called the police and an ambulance.
No one had died. The gathered crowd seemed shell-shocked and bewildered, not understanding exactly what had attacked them from the woods, but no one had died.
Saving people...\o/
Two girls huddled next to their Honda Civic; Sam could hear their whispers.
"Wow, did you see that move he did?"
"With the knife?"
"That was incredible."
Dean. They were probably talking about Dean.
Girls always were.
Aw, Sam. And Dean not only was the flashier one, he was the oldest and the mini!John. I have long-standing fanon that Sam thought Dean was the favorite and the golden boy and the one who always got the extra cookie; Dean thought Sam was the favorite and the one John worried over most.
"He's really tall. At least six five."
"At least."
"I like his hair."
And he's injured, after doing something massively impressive to save them. Sam groupies!
V. Promising
The top of the high wooden fence scraped against Sam's stomach, his shirt riding up. He pulled himself over, dropped to the grass on the other side.
I believe this is what people call gen porn. :p
Since this was a birthday fic for deirdre_c, what I said in the header is true -- the fence-scaling is here for her. Well, okay, and for me. I am fond of the fence-scaling.
Ruby stood watching him, an irritating half-smile on her face.
"What?" He snapped.
"Poetry in motion, sweet-cheeks," she said, the smile turning predatory.
I really liked Ruby One.
"Shut up." He turned away.
"You really don't see it, do you?"
He kept walking.
"Potential," she called after him. "Be a real shame if you never realized any of it."
It took him several minutes to get that she wasn't talking only about his role in the demon war.
Ruby spent a lot of time studying Sam. She was a Sam expert. As I said, this was written in July of 2008 so we didn't know the big master plan, and at the time I thought Ruby was genuinely out for herself -- self-preservation dictated things would go better for her if the humans won instead of the demons. But along with that, she found Sam to be a bright shiny object. It wasn't love, but it was genuine interest. I think even after the reveal of what she was truly up to, that was true. Ruby enjoyed her assigned role with Sam and her time with him, and he did fascinate her. Anyway, even before the reveal, it was clear she'd spent a lot of time studying the guy. Ruby sees how he carries himself, and Ruby thinks Sam is a hotass. And as in the earlier segments of this, it takes Sam a second to grok it.
It's poignant in retrospect looking back on this particular fic, because when I wrote it we hadn't gotten a look at Season 4 Sam yet, the Sam who spent months without Dean, growing bulkier and scarier and more hardass. I think a lot of the Sam I explored here is gone -- not completely, but in S4 onward, he's different. It's intriguing to see him grow, and a little sad. Sam grew both in the ways people need to grow, but he also grew in a harsh direction he shouldn't have had to (note that I don't feel that's a failing on the part of the show's writers, but it's painful to see). Even in S5, though, we still have moments of adorkable, geeky Sam, and...okay I could go on for a while about this, but S5 feels like it's softening Sam again, after the harsher Sam we got in S4. Still, I don't think he's going back to being that guy who would check over his shoulder.
The commentary is ridiculously more words than the fic itself, which was a cluster of five drabbles. Thank you for reading this far!
Title: Five Times Sam Winchester Was Unaware of His Own Hotness
Author: dotfic
Rating: Gen, PG, Stanford years-present
The fic sort of boils down to being about Sam's awareness of his own sexuality. But in a gen sort of way. No, really!
W/C: 500
Disclaimer: Property of Eric Kripke and The CW.
a/n: Written for the fabulous deirdre_c's birthday, and therefore, there is scaling of fences, among other things. Thank you to the patient pheebs1 for her input.
My commentary is in bold.
I. Waterlogged
Sam headed over to the water fountain. Students sat on the grass in the hot October day, dressed in as little clothing as possible. A frisbee soared by him, and someone had a boom box on loud.
Sam spent, what, three years being a regular guy? (Canon is so confused on the Stanford time frame). Frisbees and hanging out on college lawns and studying. It adds to the poignant, complicated mess that is Sam that he had this. Like a pause on his weird life, and he couldn't keep this, or escape hunting.
Dean would love it.
He may be ambivalent about hunting, but I think Sam missed Dean like crazy and thought about him a lot, seeing things in reference to Dean, imagining how he'd react to various things. In season 1 there was all kinds of tension between them, an awkwardness. It was clear they loved each other, but what we saw was two brothers learning to be *friends* again (and how long had it been since they were friends, I don't know. Maybe Sam's late teen years were a lot of fighting and distance since Sam was moving out of the nest...canon isn't telling, but I do believe they were joined at the hip bff kind of siblings for most of their lives, but not always). I noticed in early seasons how Sam was always poring over the research in bars, and he and Dean never just...went out drinking. In later seasons, we did have them drinking more companionably, although almost always with baggage -- a dying Dean showing Sam how to fix the Impala, or Dean seeing Sam's eyes turn yellow, or Dean and his first Hell revelation, or Sam and Dean telling Bobby they're fine when they're clearly not.
Sam ducked over the basin, dousing his head. When he straightened, water dripped from his hair down the back of his shirt, and he shivered happily.
The notion of wet!Sam makes me want to keyboard mash.
As he jogged back to join the soccer game, he noticed four girls on a blanket, staring at him.
He had no idea why. Probably he looked like a freak, dripping water everywhere.
Sam is THAT guy. The one who will check over his shoulder if he notices a pretty girl staring at him. I am convinced of this. What's interesting to me is how canon shows us he is awkward with women, up to a certain point, but once he gets close enough and gets down to business, pow, he's this self-confident sexass guy. Canon suggests he's adventurous, and a biter. What's also interesting is how Jared Padalecki plays Sam, not so much that he's unaware that he's attractive, but in this self-effacing way that suggests he maybe doesn't think of himself that way, until, again, he gets close and then we see how confident he is. It looks to me like the confidence increased in later seasons. Whereas Dean pretty much wears it on his sleeve, the knowing how pretty he is. Yet both Sam and Dean use their charm and good looks plenty, and know they're doing it. But I think Sam doesn't think of himself that way as much. Whereas in all the videos of his convention appearances, Jared Padalecki is the opposite of Sam -- he always seems to be hanging it out there, enjoys playing to the crowd and being looked at, in a very playful way. It looks like there's the same sort of contrast from Jensen to Dean -- Jensen seems a lot more self-conscious and less look-at-me than Dean does.
II. Studious
She was watching him.
Jess was supposedly studying, her head bent over her poli-sci textbook, long hair tucked in a loose knot at the base of her neck.
But every time Sam glanced up from his book, her eyes were fixed on him. As soon as he met her gaze, her glance snapped back down.
Really, I'd stare at Sam too instead of studying.
"What?" he said finally. He put his hand to his face, wondering if he had food stuck on his chin or something.
See what I mean? No clue. It's adorable. Okay, this is fanfic, but I think it fits with what we've seen of him on screen.
"Nothing," she said.
"What?"
"I like how you look when you're concentrating," she said, and her smile made him feel lit up inside.
This actually makes me go D: because it's really sad, what he lost.
III. Unaware
The bar was crowded, the music loud.
"Dude." Dean nodded. "That girl."
"Huh?"
"She is totally checking you out."
She was cute, curvy and bright-looking. She laughed with friends, her glance going Sam's way.
It was too soon.
Sam scraped back his chair. "Be right back." He jostled into someone. "Sorry."
"That's okay. Place is nuts tonight." The guy was almost as tall as Sam, dark-haired.
"Yeah."
"I'm Chris."
"Sam."
Chris leaned closer, grinning. "We could maybe go somewhere quieter."
It took Sam a moment to get it. "Oh, um, no, sorry?" he managed.
He continued quickly towards the bathrooms.
This whole segment was about Sam being clueless about his attractiveness, but it also amused me to have it be a guy. A whole additional level of obliviousness, as it takes Sam a moment to get that the guy was hitting on him. Also, this was written in July '08, near the tail-end of a time when I had a little bit of a thing for reading Sam/OMC, although this wasn't intended to hint that Sam was interested in Chris back. He's not horrified or shocked, either. Just...embarrassed because it was unexpected.
IV. Stalwart
Sam obediently stood still while an EMT patched up the long gash on his shoulder. Nearby, Dean fed a bullshit story to the cops.
A Winchester getting official medical care from an EMT. That only happened because a well-meaning bystander called the police and an ambulance.
No one had died. The gathered crowd seemed shell-shocked and bewildered, not understanding exactly what had attacked them from the woods, but no one had died.
Saving people...\o/
Two girls huddled next to their Honda Civic; Sam could hear their whispers.
"Wow, did you see that move he did?"
"With the knife?"
"That was incredible."
Dean. They were probably talking about Dean.
Girls always were.
Aw, Sam. And Dean not only was the flashier one, he was the oldest and the mini!John. I have long-standing fanon that Sam thought Dean was the favorite and the golden boy and the one who always got the extra cookie; Dean thought Sam was the favorite and the one John worried over most.
"He's really tall. At least six five."
"At least."
"I like his hair."
And he's injured, after doing something massively impressive to save them. Sam groupies!
V. Promising
The top of the high wooden fence scraped against Sam's stomach, his shirt riding up. He pulled himself over, dropped to the grass on the other side.
I believe this is what people call gen porn. :p
Since this was a birthday fic for deirdre_c, what I said in the header is true -- the fence-scaling is here for her. Well, okay, and for me. I am fond of the fence-scaling.
Ruby stood watching him, an irritating half-smile on her face.
"What?" He snapped.
"Poetry in motion, sweet-cheeks," she said, the smile turning predatory.
I really liked Ruby One.
"Shut up." He turned away.
"You really don't see it, do you?"
He kept walking.
"Potential," she called after him. "Be a real shame if you never realized any of it."
It took him several minutes to get that she wasn't talking only about his role in the demon war.
Ruby spent a lot of time studying Sam. She was a Sam expert. As I said, this was written in July of 2008 so we didn't know the big master plan, and at the time I thought Ruby was genuinely out for herself -- self-preservation dictated things would go better for her if the humans won instead of the demons. But along with that, she found Sam to be a bright shiny object. It wasn't love, but it was genuine interest. I think even after the reveal of what she was truly up to, that was true. Ruby enjoyed her assigned role with Sam and her time with him, and he did fascinate her. Anyway, even before the reveal, it was clear she'd spent a lot of time studying the guy. Ruby sees how he carries himself, and Ruby thinks Sam is a hotass. And as in the earlier segments of this, it takes Sam a second to grok it.
It's poignant in retrospect looking back on this particular fic, because when I wrote it we hadn't gotten a look at Season 4 Sam yet, the Sam who spent months without Dean, growing bulkier and scarier and more hardass. I think a lot of the Sam I explored here is gone -- not completely, but in S4 onward, he's different. It's intriguing to see him grow, and a little sad. Sam grew both in the ways people need to grow, but he also grew in a harsh direction he shouldn't have had to (note that I don't feel that's a failing on the part of the show's writers, but it's painful to see). Even in S5, though, we still have moments of adorkable, geeky Sam, and...okay I could go on for a while about this, but S5 feels like it's softening Sam again, after the harsher Sam we got in S4. Still, I don't think he's going back to being that guy who would check over his shoulder.
The commentary is ridiculously more words than the fic itself, which was a cluster of five drabbles. Thank you for reading this far!