Terror Alert: Color NEON GREEN!
A terror alert has been issued. It is the color neon green, which means it is even more important than a nuclear bomb exploding in downtown Chicago. Or Dallas. Either one.
It is very important that this terror alert is followed. If not, you may experience the wrath of one vicious pit bull.
Be on the lookout for: a "nice" dog, a belly for rubbing and canine kisses. These are all signs of a pit bull gone beserk, nearly ready to blow himself up or take a chunk out of your thigh.
Please, think of your children. And the cats. And don't forget the children of yesteryear and tomorrow - think of them fondly and all the time. In fact, don't do anything but think of the children. You'll save lives. Truly.
That is all.
http://www.realfootball365.com/nfl/articles/2006/05/randy-moss-raiders190506.html (It's just the first few paragraphs)
- for those who have an unfounded fear of links, let me summarize: a pit bull got loose, he wandered around looking for some children to eat, and a terror alert was issued).