shity day...

Oct 10, 2002 16:43

blehchy blech blech.......

It was an absolutely horrible day today! Right from this morning. I took my teddy bear Benny to school today because I wasn't feeling very good, and I knew I was going to need him if I didn't want to cry. And I almost have cried like so many times today. I've been very protective about Benny all day, not letting anyone hold him and barely anyone touch him. I think I'll probably take him to dance too. I was worrying all day about dance and what to do with my arms. It was majorly stressful, and plus I was just feeling really really depressed today and ready to not come home and just go and kill myself after school. I hate school, it's so hard for me.....It's too hard for me go the whole day. I think everyday should be a half day. Benny was the only reason I went to all my classes, but I didn't do very well in my classes.

First was Gym, I was to lazy to change and I barely participated at all, and when I did, I just majorily sucked ass. And I didn't like not holding Benny, and I got really sad when I had to put him down to play the vollyball game.

Then there was Textiles, My project looks like shit, I got paint that I don't think comes off on my sweatshirt. And when I turned the water on I had my arm under the tap, so i got soaked.

Then was lunch, I was the most depressed today during lunch. And I don't really know why, I guess just the stress about having to go to dance tonight. I saw Krystina for a couple mins, she was going to the computer lab, I was gonna invite her to come and eat with me, but i got nervous, I don't really know if she actually likes me or not. It bugs me that I never truely know what people think about me.

Then Benny dragged my to Humanities, where I didn't do any of the owrk i was supossed to and went to the 'bathroom' just to get out of it for a lil while. I hate humanities, but David was being nice and trying to cheer me up a little i think.

Then last there was drama. It was ok, I was really sad, and freaked about dance. Leah was having a bad day too. So we paired up to do this lil skit and just talked the whole time when we were supossed to be rehersing. We talked a lot. She was telling me how her friend slept over in the drama room once, and we were saying how we should. I truely want to, I'd love to do that. Then I was telling her why i didn't want to go to dance tonight. And Leah being all brilliant and stuff sujested me wear a long sleeve shirt under my body suit, which I'm doing right now! It actually doesn't look bad. and if the teach asks why i'm wearing it i'll just say I've been really cold today.

Then I went and got my interm report card, I'm passing everything. In gym I think i've got a C+, in Humanities C-, Textiles and drama I've got A's in though. yeah go Sisi.

When I was walking home I ran into Jono and Nick and we walked together. Jono was asking me a bunch of Questions since we haven't seen eachother in so long and stuff. And he was being really nice and stuff, and he made me feel better.

And now I'm at home, and I really do need to go now for dance. I hope it goes well, I'm gonna bring Benny to make me feel better.
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