My toxic love
I'm still a bit fucked. Call me, lovelies: 404 406 0574. Anytime, leave a message.
Matt: I'm sorry for what I did. But I owned up to it; you lied to me. And then you avoided the questions and never answered why your stories didn't match, if you really were drunk, and what you were trying to hide. I wish we could either talk again and be friends, or you would beat the shit out of me like you would if I was a guy. I really care about you; you got my hopes up.
Kiffer: I know you have some time off this week. Either call me first, or just show up at the house (I know I'm staying after school tomorrow for a bit, and possibly later in the week too), because I still really want/need to see you. Thanks again for talking to me that night that Kim stayed over. I know you had better things (and people, lol) to do. Bring Spicy if you can; I'm still gonna make him that shirt we came up with. Oh, and I have your fried rice you wanted Kif. And I'll make more sesame chicken. Danielle said it was really good when she came over Sunday.
Kim: I'm sorry I started crying at school today. It wasn't your fault.
For all the others, I love each and every one of you. I know I've fucked up a lot in the past, and allowed myself to be fucked up by people I care about, especially people I like romanticaly and shite. All my past girlfriends and boyfriends (and Whatevers, who I never dated officially but were I Can't Belive It's Not Boyfriends to me) have at least made me cry, and at most made me contemplate suicide and cut up real bad. I know I also allow myself to be fucked up by things I can't control, like school and my family most of all.
Things in my house and with my family are still shaky and shitty. They have, on a positive note, not yelled since the weekend. Small improvement. I still absolutely cannot stand it here because they all lie to me and fight and make me feel like shit for what they do and what I do.
I love you guys, but if things don't change, you might not be seeing me for a while because I'll either be committed or have run away.
Matt: I'm sorry for what I did. But I owned up to it; you lied to me. And then you avoided the questions and never answered why your stories didn't match, if you really were drunk, and what you were trying to hide. I wish we could either talk again and be friends, or you would beat the shit out of me like you would if I was a guy. I really care about you; you got my hopes up.
Kiffer: I know you have some time off this week. Either call me first, or just show up at the house (I know I'm staying after school tomorrow for a bit, and possibly later in the week too), because I still really want/need to see you. Thanks again for talking to me that night that Kim stayed over. I know you had better things (and people, lol) to do. Bring Spicy if you can; I'm still gonna make him that shirt we came up with. Oh, and I have your fried rice you wanted Kif. And I'll make more sesame chicken. Danielle said it was really good when she came over Sunday.
Kim: I'm sorry I started crying at school today. It wasn't your fault.
For all the others, I love each and every one of you. I know I've fucked up a lot in the past, and allowed myself to be fucked up by people I care about, especially people I like romanticaly and shite. All my past girlfriends and boyfriends (and Whatevers, who I never dated officially but were I Can't Belive It's Not Boyfriends to me) have at least made me cry, and at most made me contemplate suicide and cut up real bad. I know I also allow myself to be fucked up by things I can't control, like school and my family most of all.
Things in my house and with my family are still shaky and shitty. They have, on a positive note, not yelled since the weekend. Small improvement. I still absolutely cannot stand it here because they all lie to me and fight and make me feel like shit for what they do and what I do.
I love you guys, but if things don't change, you might not be seeing me for a while because I'll either be committed or have run away.