(no subject)
I feel sad today. And Angry. Mostly just impatient.
It was raining so I worked on a painting but it just made me more restless and frustrated because it won't come together like I want it to.
I've been waiting 13 months for my boyfriend to get a job and I just don't want to wait anymore, I'm so sick of waiting for everything.
I've been waiting and working to get back up to my record time without hurting myself, but I don't think I can even count the past few months because I keep neglecting my body (not eating, drinking too much coffee, not sleeping) and driven myself to severe malnutrition and I'm now developing an ulcer (again). Every day is a struggle to not slip back into my eating disorders or self-harming, its so stressful to resist.
My friend back where I used to live seems to be having a really rough time right now, I'm worried about her, she was showing signs of early-stage anorexia when I moved away last year.
That's it, I'll go on vacation somehow, even just planning to would make me feel better, I'll go visit her and spend a month by the sea, that would be good for me I think. It would keep my mind off of my own issues and I could finally relax :)
*hugs for everyone who needs them*
It was raining so I worked on a painting but it just made me more restless and frustrated because it won't come together like I want it to.
I've been waiting 13 months for my boyfriend to get a job and I just don't want to wait anymore, I'm so sick of waiting for everything.
I've been waiting and working to get back up to my record time without hurting myself, but I don't think I can even count the past few months because I keep neglecting my body (not eating, drinking too much coffee, not sleeping) and driven myself to severe malnutrition and I'm now developing an ulcer (again). Every day is a struggle to not slip back into my eating disorders or self-harming, its so stressful to resist.
My friend back where I used to live seems to be having a really rough time right now, I'm worried about her, she was showing signs of early-stage anorexia when I moved away last year.
That's it, I'll go on vacation somehow, even just planning to would make me feel better, I'll go visit her and spend a month by the sea, that would be good for me I think. It would keep my mind off of my own issues and I could finally relax :)
*hugs for everyone who needs them*