The Ultimate Harry Potter Whorehouse Fic
Last night, I dreamt I was writing a Fanny Hill pastiche of Harry Potter, using John Cleland's style and setting and only changing the names and the characters' sex, if necessary. I had the plot all ready: Harry Potter is Fanny Hill and he leaves the Dursleys for the big city. Once in the brothel of Hogwarts, he experiences his sexual initiation with Cedric Diggory,
"Instead of which, his lascivious touches had lighted up
a new fire that wanton'd through all my veins, but fix'd with
violence in that center appointed them by nature, where the
first strange hands were now busied in feeling, squeezing,
compressing the cheeks, then opening them again, with a finger
between, till an "Oh!" express'd her hurting me, where the
narrowness of the unbroken passage refused it entrance to any
depth."
Cedric, the perv, is not satisfied with getting Harry off and makes him - not wank him off, because I'm quoting verbatim from the original text and Phoebe has nothing to be wanked - but fist him.
"Here he took my hand, and in a transport carried it where
you will easily guess. But what a difference in the state
of the same thing! . . . A spreading thicket of bushy curls
marked the full-grown, complete man. Then the cavity to
which he guided my hand easily received it; and as soon as
he felt it within him, he moved himself to and fro, with
so rapid a friction that I presently withdrew it, wet and
clammy, when instantly Cedric grew more composed, after two
or three sighs, and heart-fetched Oh's! and giving me a
kiss that seemed to exhale his soul through his lips, he
replaced the bed-cloaths over us."
Later, Fanny!Harry (which would be an excellent nickname for a feminised Harry sporting a man-vagina) is almost raped by Snape.
"But I was talking to the wind; for whether my tears, my attitude,
or the disorder of my dress prov'd fresh incentives, or
whether he was not under the dominion of desires he could
not bridle, but snorting and foaming with lust and rage, he
renews his attack, seizes me, and again attempts to extend
and fix me on the settee: in which he succeeded so far as to
lay me along, and even to toss my robes over my head,
and lay my thighs bare, which I obstinately kept close, nor
could he, though he attempted with his knee to force them
open, effect it so as to stand fair for being master of the
main avenue; he was unbuttoned, both waistcoat and breeches,
yet I only felt the weight of his body upon me, whilst I lay
struggling with indignation, and dying with terror; but he
stopped all of a sudden, and got off, panting, blowing, curs-
ing, and repeating "old and ugly!" for so I had very natur-
ally called him in the heat of my defence.
The brute had, it seems, as I afterwards understood,
brought on, by his eagerness and struggle, the ultimate
period of his hot fit of lust, which his power was too short
liv'd to carry him through the full execution of; of which
my thighs and linen received the effusion."
But then, after a series of voyeuristic sessions, during which Fanny!Harry learns to appreciate the beauty of a male body, the noble and beautiful Bill Weasley comes to fetch him, and
"He now resumes his attempts in more form: first, he put
one of the pillows under me, to give the blank of his aim a
more favourable elevation, and another under my head, in
ease of it; then spreading my thighs, and placing himself
standing between them, made them rest upon his hips; apply-
ing then the point of his machine to the slit, into which he
sought entrance: it was so small, he could scarce assure
himself of its being rightly pointed. He looks, he feels,
and satisfies himself: the driving forward with fury, its
prodigious stiffness, thus impacted, wedgelike, breaks the
union of those parts, and gain'd him just the insertion of
the tip of it, lip-deep; which being sensible of, he improv-
ed his advantage, and following well his stroke, in a
straight line, forcibly deepens his penetration; but put me
to such intolerable pain, from the separation of the sides
of that soft passage by a hard thick body, I could have
scream'd out; but, as I was unwilling to alarm the house, I
held in my breath, and cramm'd my robe, which was
turn'd up over my face, into my mouth, and bit it through
in the agony. At length, the tender texture of that tract
giving way to such fierce tearing and rending, he pierc'd
something further into me: and now, outrageous and no longer
his own master, but borne headlong away by the fury and
over-mettle of that member, now exerting itself with a kind
of native rage, he breaks in, carries all before him, and
one violent merciless lunge sent it, imbrew'd, and reeking
with virgin blood, up to the very hilt in me . . . Then!
then all my resolution deserted me: I scream'd out, and
fainted away with the sharpness of the pain; and, as he told
me afterwards, on his drawing out, when emission was over
with him, my thighs were instantly all in a stream of blood
that flow'd from the wounded torn passage."
That's it. This is where the dream ended. I am too lazy to write the whole thing, but the excerpts give a pretty good impression of what the final product would look like. Oh, and it's not porn, BTW. It's erotica.
"Instead of which, his lascivious touches had lighted up
a new fire that wanton'd through all my veins, but fix'd with
violence in that center appointed them by nature, where the
first strange hands were now busied in feeling, squeezing,
compressing the cheeks, then opening them again, with a finger
between, till an "Oh!" express'd her hurting me, where the
narrowness of the unbroken passage refused it entrance to any
depth."
Cedric, the perv, is not satisfied with getting Harry off and makes him - not wank him off, because I'm quoting verbatim from the original text and Phoebe has nothing to be wanked - but fist him.
"Here he took my hand, and in a transport carried it where
you will easily guess. But what a difference in the state
of the same thing! . . . A spreading thicket of bushy curls
marked the full-grown, complete man. Then the cavity to
which he guided my hand easily received it; and as soon as
he felt it within him, he moved himself to and fro, with
so rapid a friction that I presently withdrew it, wet and
clammy, when instantly Cedric grew more composed, after two
or three sighs, and heart-fetched Oh's! and giving me a
kiss that seemed to exhale his soul through his lips, he
replaced the bed-cloaths over us."
Later, Fanny!Harry (which would be an excellent nickname for a feminised Harry sporting a man-vagina) is almost raped by Snape.
"But I was talking to the wind; for whether my tears, my attitude,
or the disorder of my dress prov'd fresh incentives, or
whether he was not under the dominion of desires he could
not bridle, but snorting and foaming with lust and rage, he
renews his attack, seizes me, and again attempts to extend
and fix me on the settee: in which he succeeded so far as to
lay me along, and even to toss my robes over my head,
and lay my thighs bare, which I obstinately kept close, nor
could he, though he attempted with his knee to force them
open, effect it so as to stand fair for being master of the
main avenue; he was unbuttoned, both waistcoat and breeches,
yet I only felt the weight of his body upon me, whilst I lay
struggling with indignation, and dying with terror; but he
stopped all of a sudden, and got off, panting, blowing, curs-
ing, and repeating "old and ugly!" for so I had very natur-
ally called him in the heat of my defence.
The brute had, it seems, as I afterwards understood,
brought on, by his eagerness and struggle, the ultimate
period of his hot fit of lust, which his power was too short
liv'd to carry him through the full execution of; of which
my thighs and linen received the effusion."
But then, after a series of voyeuristic sessions, during which Fanny!Harry learns to appreciate the beauty of a male body, the noble and beautiful Bill Weasley comes to fetch him, and
"He now resumes his attempts in more form: first, he put
one of the pillows under me, to give the blank of his aim a
more favourable elevation, and another under my head, in
ease of it; then spreading my thighs, and placing himself
standing between them, made them rest upon his hips; apply-
ing then the point of his machine to the slit, into which he
sought entrance: it was so small, he could scarce assure
himself of its being rightly pointed. He looks, he feels,
and satisfies himself: the driving forward with fury, its
prodigious stiffness, thus impacted, wedgelike, breaks the
union of those parts, and gain'd him just the insertion of
the tip of it, lip-deep; which being sensible of, he improv-
ed his advantage, and following well his stroke, in a
straight line, forcibly deepens his penetration; but put me
to such intolerable pain, from the separation of the sides
of that soft passage by a hard thick body, I could have
scream'd out; but, as I was unwilling to alarm the house, I
held in my breath, and cramm'd my robe, which was
turn'd up over my face, into my mouth, and bit it through
in the agony. At length, the tender texture of that tract
giving way to such fierce tearing and rending, he pierc'd
something further into me: and now, outrageous and no longer
his own master, but borne headlong away by the fury and
over-mettle of that member, now exerting itself with a kind
of native rage, he breaks in, carries all before him, and
one violent merciless lunge sent it, imbrew'd, and reeking
with virgin blood, up to the very hilt in me . . . Then!
then all my resolution deserted me: I scream'd out, and
fainted away with the sharpness of the pain; and, as he told
me afterwards, on his drawing out, when emission was over
with him, my thighs were instantly all in a stream of blood
that flow'd from the wounded torn passage."
That's it. This is where the dream ended. I am too lazy to write the whole thing, but the excerpts give a pretty good impression of what the final product would look like. Oh, and it's not porn, BTW. It's erotica.