(no subject)
Hi LJ,
Lately I've felt such an urge to vent about family problems. I don't know what is going onn.
I'm so glad I'm heading to Philly this weekend. Summer school is almost over and I'm so relieved.
So Mark and I haven't been talking very much since everything has always just gone really poorly in our relationship. I've tried to be a good daughter, but I don't know if he knows how to be a dad. I just feel really uncomfortable around him sometimes. It's hard and it takes a lot of effort for me. I haven't talked to him since I called him about getting a car in November after I totaled mine. All I asked him for was to co-sign. I promised I would make all of the payments and my mom and dad agreed to help me out. He backed out of helping me while I was at the dealership about to purchase the car I wanted.
I recently spoke to him about a week ago because my mom was trying to get the money for my summer session. Apparently, it's not covered by my scholarship money or financial aid (fml), so it's all out of pocket, and I had a deadline to meet before I was going to be dropped. My mom called Mark up and asked him if he could pay half of the tuition and when he agreed, I called him to say thank you. In the past, I have never been canny to asking him for money because he used to try to buy my interest when I first found out he was my biological dad and I hated it. I hated it this time too.
So, when I talked to mark on the phone, he was just like, "surprise, I'm coming to see you in Philly!"
I don't appreciate that he never asked if it was okay or if I'd be busy, or for the matter, if I was even rostered to play. I might not even be able to go because I have a final on the following Monday. The tickets for the tournament are also really expensive and it's fricken ECDX! I want to go and watch derby!
I'm just ... I dont know. Am I a bad person?
There's just a lot of history behind the weird relationship that I don't like. I know he tries, but it just doesn't seem like we can ever get it right.
<3