With wrenching clarity, I realized last night why I don't write. I make up excuses without realizing I'm making up excuses, feeling too tired or unmotivated or this or that, it's always something. Why? I am afraid. No, I am kind of terrified.

I am terrified of failing, of not living up to the imaginary expectations I've assigned to those around me ( Read more... )

Got our newsletter out on time, with two whole hours to spare. That was Tuesday. Three hours of overtime and some wine. I think it was a success.

Feeling good about things. The job's not perfect, far from it, but it's a job and it's experience and it's money in my pocket. Not that I care about that last thing much anyway, but it's nice not having to ( Read more... )

This is both awesome and incredibly sad:

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I feel ya, dude.

Autumn's here and the weather's finally getting gorgeous. 78 degrees today. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. Looking for a ride to Pismo Saturday night. The water is cold but the sun is hot.

I looked up "moustache" in the dictionary because I always include the "o" but wondered which was the more common variant, the "o" type or the "o"-less variety ( Read more... )

I feel like being loud. I want to be the sky breaking, a hundred-billion shimmering bits biting the night.

It's amazing the speed at which time moves. I think about where I was a year ago and it's all so different now. Brilliant, mostly, and so different. Things were the same for too long. Now I finally feel that resistance starting to give. Still ( Read more... )

Sitting in my bones. Can't shake the feeling out, sweep the footsteps from my brain.
Got me so I don't know what I'm doing.

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Amazing:



People are brilliant.

But remember...

This is the best thing ever: news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/world/asia_pacific/10130346.stm
This, on the other hand, is both amazing and unsettling: news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science_and_environment/10132762.stm

"If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at ( Read more... )

I've got to get out of this place.

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