Better Out Than In

[cliched_case]

[Again, L had been exploring. It was the only method of trying to find a way out...and L wanted out... He wanted to go back. The door opened, and he found himself peering into a strange, multicolored room. The walls and floor faded in and out with various slowly-changing colors--purples, deep blues, light blues, greens, yellows, oranges, reds, and

Comments

[firm_detective]

L's first thought, as he stepped through the door, was that while the room itself was new to him, elements were familiar. He had little time to elaborate on the concept. What room does it remind --The rush of emotion hit him all at once. Anger and frustration were its greater components, but a notable element of fear was also present: fear that he would never be able to leave, fear that he would limp and hobble forever whether he could go home or not, and his ever-present fear for Misa's well-being. Somewhere, at the bottom of the latter, was a steady, humming thread, a tug at his heart that represented the part of his love for her that overwhelmed him, the small part that was an abject adoration that he didn't want to show

[cliched_case]

[In his distress, he was vaguely able to distinguish the words from one who shared his voice. And his other's words were true; L knew this... Knew his show of weakness wasn't solving anything, and yet... He couldn't stop. Couldn't reign it back in no matter how hard he tried. He couldn't reason it away... Not when emotions weren't ruled by logic (or even willpower in this case). Not when there was too much to be sorrowful for... He felt as if he were staring into an abyss of emptiness. A depression that had always threatened somewhere inside but one he'd made every effort to avoid.

[His face buried deeper into his knees, shoulders trembling, teeth grit, and he shook his head against the fabric of his jeans--the only answer he was able to give. There was no way his voice would have held up.]

[dreamsofgenesis]

[Misa stumbles when she enters this room, taken aback by the emotion that overwhelms her. Her family... HER FAMILY! She misses them so very much, and all of a sudden she can't hide it anymore; her cheery facade is gone. She screams and hits the wall with her fists until they bleed, and even then she doesn't bother healing them. Rather she falls down to the floor, her expression stricken.]

Where are you guys? I miss you, and...

[She curls in on herself when she thinks that she might never ever see them again. She trembles all over and squeezes her eyes tightly closed, and she hasn't even noticed L yet.]

[logical_red]

[Once again, this isn't the kitchen; Matt has to wonder - What the hell is with this place and moving the damn kitchen? Of all things to move, why always the kitchen?

A shame he'll probably never know.

As soon as he walks in, though, he stops just inside the door; leaning heavily against the wall close to him, it turns a deep, dark blue as he begins to sob, heavily and abruptly. The broken feeling from before has returned full-force, and he can't believe that he actually managed to make it a full two years completely alone, without his Mello from here, or even the other Mello, from his own world, to fall back on!

His carelessness in the years leading up to his death were totally and completely on purpose, too - a fact he's not sure he could ever reveal to Mello. What if he hated him for it? What if he already hates him, but is just that brilliant at faking it?

At that thought, Matt's sobs just become more broken, and he finally curls his hand into a fist and starts to pummel the wall.] Goddammit! Fuck you, you stupid mansion! Just

[down_to_nowhere]

[Mello feels better now that he's sleeping again. Matt's back, and they'll be fine; they just have a couple of extra obstacles to get around now, that's all.

Then he steps into the room that's decidedly not the library, and it all hits him, everything he's been pretending not to feel, for Matt's sake, but for his own, too: the worry, the grief, the guilt. Is Matt stuck in the mansion forever? Mello wanted better for him, should've been able to figure out a way for them to escape, a place they could go where his one damn second wouldn't matter. Now Matt doesn't even have one second, and he's going to have to deal with being dead sometime, and after B--which Mello is still sure was his fault--he's not sure they can handle it. If they can't... he'll be lost. Like he was after that last big fight, and fuck, he hates needing anyone. Spent his whole life making sure he didn't, in fact. But he needs Matt

[logical_red]

[Matt looks up, turns around to leave now that his tears are mostly dried up-

And the door's gone.

And Mello's standing there, looking utterly miserable as he leans back against the wall, just a few feet away.

Slowly, he makes his way over.] Fucker got us both again, huh?

[down_to_nowhere]

[Mello lifts his head and lets his hand fall to his side.]

Still getting us. [He can see the evidence of Matt's tears, but he won't bring them up directly.] C'mere. [He holds out a hand.]

[logical_red]

I'm- I'm fine, [he says, but comes forward anyway, his fingertips tracing lightly along Mello's palm.]

What'd it do to you?

[spazzykira]

*Misa comes in, and looks around at everyone and is... really, pretty unaffected. Misa Amane is not the type of person to hold stuff in, so she has nothing to let out.

She does start to look somewhat scared and panicked though, as she sees so many people around her, people she knows to be strong, independant people, clearly suffering. And she has no idea what to do.*

Uhh... everyone? D-Do you guys need help or something??

*tries to prod Thinky into interactiiing*

[cliched_case]

[L had been crying for a while now when his mind registered the sound of Misa's voice. He took in a shuddering breath and somehow managed to whisper hoarsely, muffled by his legs.]

Go away...

[For anyone to see him like this... Weak, vulnerable... He just couldn't compose himself. He didn't want anyone around... If he were going to break, he wanted privacy.]

*encourages Thinky!!*

[spazzykira]

*Misa sees L there, and rushes over. She kneels beside him, but she doesn't know what to do. Asking "are you okay?" is just a stupid thing to do, since he very obviously is not. And... she's never seen him like this before, so completely... broken.

So she doesn't really do much of anything. She just kind of sits there... then reaches over and hugs him, and holds on to him. She doesn't know what else to do... but she has to be there for him. She just... has to.*

Gah, sorry for taking so long. Working on bringing a new muse in, gettingdistracted. @.@;

[cliched_case]

[L tensed at the contact, biting his lip to feel Misa's arms wrapping around him. He tried to protest, but at that moment, his voice failed him, and all he could do was shake his head. But at the same time...his body betrayed him, and he found himself leaning into the girl's embrace, desperate for comfort. It could have been anyone...but he needed, at that moment...to be held...consoled...secure...despite how his mind screamed in aversion. His face buried in her shoulder, his own shaking with the gravity of his sorrow. It was all he could do to keep his sobs quiet.]