A strange weekend.
I've gone the whole round this weekend. From frustration, anger and resignation on Friday to a sense of cautious optimism over the weekend to something approaching outright befuddled amazement today.
It doesn't escape my attention that this a lot of oscillation in the old emotions, and I'm going to keep a lid on my extremes of good or bad until I have more information. But it's nice to feel positive for a change.
There's a correspondence going between me and a certain guy that's something quite unlike anything I've ever experienced. It's freakish, really. This person is as verbose as me, and about as articulate (and this is me giving myself a compliment, so meh). There's a measure of refreshing optimism in the face of the world that leaves me with some actual ammunition to the usual jaded response of "so what's the catch?" I've never actually felt so much like "wow, that feels so much like me" in completely random ways.
I catch myself wondering if the universe is trying to give me some positive reinforcement for rejecting something that was obviously fifty different flavors of bad for me - I'd finally had enough of fighting someone for the little bit of good I felt like I was getting from our "friendship." There's something to be said for being well-hung, but if you don't know how to use it in a manner that's actually engaged and interested in the person on the receiving end, it can be just as dissatisfying as a much lesser man.
Maybe I'm just one of those freaks who prefers my horizontal mambo with a whole lot of emotional connection. I'm a weirdo like that.
Today, I went skiing at Wawa. Nice, sunny weather, and the snow was just great. I feel like I'm pushing myself outside of my slow zone because I can now. I'm to the point where I feel like I'm going too slow for where I'm at. I need to stop being a wuss about speed and allowing myself to have a little, because I know I can scrub it right back off again if necessary.
Right now I'm fighting one eye being mostly swollen shut. I don't know what the fuck I got in it, but something was on my hand when I rubbed my eye and now it's all frickin' swollen again. It's happened before. Luckily, I have some opthalmic ointment with steroids in it from the last time this happened, and I'm going to be sitting here with an ice pack until it goes down. Not fun, in any case. It's like the old joke about "it hurts when I do that" and the doctor says "so don't do that" - I get this in my eye and it swells up, but I have no clue what "this" is - or believe me, I wouldn't be getting it in my eye!
Grr. Mike's feature is at the Dirty Gerund tonight. If half your face isn't swollen up, I suggest you go. :P
It doesn't escape my attention that this a lot of oscillation in the old emotions, and I'm going to keep a lid on my extremes of good or bad until I have more information. But it's nice to feel positive for a change.
There's a correspondence going between me and a certain guy that's something quite unlike anything I've ever experienced. It's freakish, really. This person is as verbose as me, and about as articulate (and this is me giving myself a compliment, so meh). There's a measure of refreshing optimism in the face of the world that leaves me with some actual ammunition to the usual jaded response of "so what's the catch?" I've never actually felt so much like "wow, that feels so much like me" in completely random ways.
I catch myself wondering if the universe is trying to give me some positive reinforcement for rejecting something that was obviously fifty different flavors of bad for me - I'd finally had enough of fighting someone for the little bit of good I felt like I was getting from our "friendship." There's something to be said for being well-hung, but if you don't know how to use it in a manner that's actually engaged and interested in the person on the receiving end, it can be just as dissatisfying as a much lesser man.
Maybe I'm just one of those freaks who prefers my horizontal mambo with a whole lot of emotional connection. I'm a weirdo like that.
Today, I went skiing at Wawa. Nice, sunny weather, and the snow was just great. I feel like I'm pushing myself outside of my slow zone because I can now. I'm to the point where I feel like I'm going too slow for where I'm at. I need to stop being a wuss about speed and allowing myself to have a little, because I know I can scrub it right back off again if necessary.
Right now I'm fighting one eye being mostly swollen shut. I don't know what the fuck I got in it, but something was on my hand when I rubbed my eye and now it's all frickin' swollen again. It's happened before. Luckily, I have some opthalmic ointment with steroids in it from the last time this happened, and I'm going to be sitting here with an ice pack until it goes down. Not fun, in any case. It's like the old joke about "it hurts when I do that" and the doctor says "so don't do that" - I get this in my eye and it swells up, but I have no clue what "this" is - or believe me, I wouldn't be getting it in my eye!
Grr. Mike's feature is at the Dirty Gerund tonight. If half your face isn't swollen up, I suggest you go. :P