My housemate took a pee on my bed. No, really. Because it's funny apparently. But don't get mad, get even, right?  So, I maybe possibly woke him up holding a pillow above his face. What? It's not like I was actually trying to suffocate him. Yeah, AND I got punched in the clit! Like, what kind of lucky shot is that? He was still half asleep ( Read more... )

My car committed suicide in the middle of the fucking road. It made some crazy noise, and I was all, "Oh noes! She put a bomb in my car. Goddammit...". It's OK though, I made my housemate collect me and check for bombs/normal car fuck ups (while I slept in the backseat). Some belt thingy snapped. Yay, nobody was trying to kill me ( Read more... )