At what point do you let them see you?

Dec 10, 2008 14:56

I've been pondering this for a while now and the pondering is becoming a bit more frantic.  I have become friends with new people here in Dodge lately and while things seem to be progressing on those fronts... it just begs the question.  There are times when things are wonderful and everyone is laughing and having a good time and joking and telling stories... but then you get to that awkward silence and everyone looks around the table at each other... and the gaze is... mesmerizing and scary.... as if everyone is sizing the others up.  And I just have to wonder... what are we doing?  Are we trying to figure out the others so its less strange?  Are we trying to decide whether to drop another layer of defenses...?  Are we secretly building defenses to hide behind because we don't know if the people we are hanging out with are trustworthy?  It just seems more complex every day.  But a large hunk of me says its not and to get over and on with it.  *sigh*  Screw dating... relationships with ANYONE on ANY level are just plain risky and scary. 

friends, life

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