There is a light at the end of the tunnel after all...
...and it appears to be getting brighter finally.
I'd have to say I had a pretty sweet weekend despite one little bump in the road. I played pool with some great kids on Friday after I locked my keys in my car (which wasn't the bump, by the way). Evan was at my house luckily, so I got him to come out and play for a bit and bring my keys. Thank God for that. Saturday rocked the house. I spent the day with the band at church and we had a little workshop/retreat from 9 to 4. I learned so many things thanks to a guy named Chris Muglia that we had fly in to talk to us. He played with us at church today too.
Now for Saturday night... I went out with Maria. We had a pretty good time. I picked her up from her place around 7:30 and we drove around for a good half an hour looking for something to do since we couldn't go bowling. I thought that was amusing. The bastards take reservations for cosmic bowling which started 45 minutes after we got there. They told us we probably didn't even have time for one game, so we left. Then we drove around until we ended up in San Marco and I found Common Grounds. It was the first time both of us had been there. Pretty chill place. We listened to this girl sing and play guitar with a guy on upright bass. She sounded like Norah Jones, only she couldn't enunciate. But other than that, she was pretty good.
On the way back, we had a conversation about what both of us thought the night was supposed to be (date or hanging out) and I found out she wasn't looking for a relationship. Now you know me. That was a pretty big blow, but then again it's not the first time it's happened. It hit me like it usually would at first and even carried on for half the day today. But I got to thinking about it and for some reason, this time was different. I got over it already. With all of the stuff that's been going on this past week in my head and what Lizzy and I talked about, something has changed already. The funny thing is, she practically told me EXACTLY what Lizzy told me. I have to learn to love myself before I can love someone else. That wasn't the reason she gave me for not wanting a relationship right now, but I just thought it was funny that I heard that from two different people in the same week.
I think I'm starting to get better already. I don't know for sure though. That's why I have an appointment tomorrow with my doctor. I'm glad that this "relationshit" thing is starting to clear up for me. I think I'm going to work on a relationship with myself for awhile. I'm starting by quitting pot. Yeah, I know. "You're not gonna do it man. Come on!" I gave the rest of my crap to a friend of mine and I haven't smoked in a few days. You may be right, but I'm out to prove you wrong this time.
So Maria and I are just going to be friends. It doesn't change how I feel about her, but that's okay. I'm going to give her a rose on Valentine's Day and let her know I'm completely cool with it. I need some time to sort myself out anyway, and she needs some time to sort her stuff out. So in the meantime, I think we're both just going to try and help each other as friends. And believe it or not (I'm having a hard time believing it myself), I'm cool with that.
I'm really glad I'm starting to get to know myself finally. I can't wait.
Musically,
Tim
I'd have to say I had a pretty sweet weekend despite one little bump in the road. I played pool with some great kids on Friday after I locked my keys in my car (which wasn't the bump, by the way). Evan was at my house luckily, so I got him to come out and play for a bit and bring my keys. Thank God for that. Saturday rocked the house. I spent the day with the band at church and we had a little workshop/retreat from 9 to 4. I learned so many things thanks to a guy named Chris Muglia that we had fly in to talk to us. He played with us at church today too.
Now for Saturday night... I went out with Maria. We had a pretty good time. I picked her up from her place around 7:30 and we drove around for a good half an hour looking for something to do since we couldn't go bowling. I thought that was amusing. The bastards take reservations for cosmic bowling which started 45 minutes after we got there. They told us we probably didn't even have time for one game, so we left. Then we drove around until we ended up in San Marco and I found Common Grounds. It was the first time both of us had been there. Pretty chill place. We listened to this girl sing and play guitar with a guy on upright bass. She sounded like Norah Jones, only she couldn't enunciate. But other than that, she was pretty good.
On the way back, we had a conversation about what both of us thought the night was supposed to be (date or hanging out) and I found out she wasn't looking for a relationship. Now you know me. That was a pretty big blow, but then again it's not the first time it's happened. It hit me like it usually would at first and even carried on for half the day today. But I got to thinking about it and for some reason, this time was different. I got over it already. With all of the stuff that's been going on this past week in my head and what Lizzy and I talked about, something has changed already. The funny thing is, she practically told me EXACTLY what Lizzy told me. I have to learn to love myself before I can love someone else. That wasn't the reason she gave me for not wanting a relationship right now, but I just thought it was funny that I heard that from two different people in the same week.
I think I'm starting to get better already. I don't know for sure though. That's why I have an appointment tomorrow with my doctor. I'm glad that this "relationshit" thing is starting to clear up for me. I think I'm going to work on a relationship with myself for awhile. I'm starting by quitting pot. Yeah, I know. "You're not gonna do it man. Come on!" I gave the rest of my crap to a friend of mine and I haven't smoked in a few days. You may be right, but I'm out to prove you wrong this time.
So Maria and I are just going to be friends. It doesn't change how I feel about her, but that's okay. I'm going to give her a rose on Valentine's Day and let her know I'm completely cool with it. I need some time to sort myself out anyway, and she needs some time to sort her stuff out. So in the meantime, I think we're both just going to try and help each other as friends. And believe it or not (I'm having a hard time believing it myself), I'm cool with that.
I'm really glad I'm starting to get to know myself finally. I can't wait.
Musically,
Tim