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Yeah hey out of the blue david calls me david cook and say weird shit to me, yeah he like freaked me out! yeah I thought you should know! why the fuck would he want to call me. It was funny cause Joshnyah picked up the phone and went "David cook NV? are you cheating on me and I dont know about it" and me being a smart ass I said "of course!" he ( Read more... )

I have been alone now for five whole days, I have seem three people in the whole time I have been alone! I have not eaten any thing and I think I am getting fat from not eatting!but oh well i am so tired, I have no strangth at all, I fall a sleep watching tv, I get up and go to the bathroom and take a piss man that is so much fucking work for me to ( Read more... )

To live would be to laugh and smile
but if that is what you call liveing
then what do you call what I do?
I am alive but I am not living
I am dieing but I am yet not dead
life doesnot exsist to me
death is only the begining
I know of nothing good but darkness that was once called day.
Someone once told me I  look as if I was Death it;s self, as if I am ( Read more... )

I cut today, i just stood in the shower and cut my upper left arm 120 times, I wathed as the cold/warm red blood ran down from my cuts to the fllor of the shower, I ran my hand over the blood looked at it and went weak in the knees I lost consioncness, when I woke I was being called to the door by my gay friend devon he came to check on me, and I ( Read more... )

I got to talk to brandi today, to bad I had to go cause I was feeling sick to my stomice maybe it cause I havent eaten since Joshnyah made me eat, he has been busy with work so he hasnt been on my ass for a while, of course I just tell him I have he looks in the trash and see a wrapper and thinks I eat it, when in fact I gave it to the dogs. I feel ( Read more... )

My grandmother has died today and I was pulled out of school for the rest of the week to take care of the dogs. I cant write right now

To live would be to laugh and smile
But if that is what you call living
then what do you call what I do?
I am alive but not living
I am dieing but not dead
death is only the begining
I know of nothing good but darkness that was once called day
someone once told me I look as if I was Death it's self, as if I am looking to take a soul
Life ends but death ( Read more... )

There are two guys that are fighting for my attention, but ever since my mother had banned me from brandi I really didnt see the real them (the guys). They have stuck by me not demanding for me to talk nor smile, we just sit on the counch in my room and watch movies! The first one is Joshnyah he is 25 years old I met him January and didnt know that ( Read more... )

Charles is trying his hardest to get me to talk to him but all I will do is fake a smile and hug him and kiss him. He understands why I dont talk, I wrote him a letter and he read it in front of me. He said he will wait till I am ready to talk, I dont know when that will be but it aint soon but he dont mind. He said I am the first girl he knows ( Read more... )