YEAH
I got to talk to brandi today, to bad I had to go cause I was feeling sick to my stomice maybe it cause I havent eaten since Joshnyah made me eat, he has been busy with work so he hasnt been on my ass for a while, of course I just tell him I have he looks in the trash and see a wrapper and thinks I eat it, when in fact I gave it to the dogs. I feel bad for lieing to him but I really dont want to eat nor do I want to talk, he hasnt asked me to talk but I can see it in his eyes he is saddened by my absence of voice. He has heard me sing he stumbbled in on me when I had my music on and my back turned to him, he just sat there listening to me sing this dark deppressing song and when I turned to him I stopped and he left, he came back held me in his arms and I knew he had been crying and thats why he tured away real fast to leave. It hurts to know someone can love me so and barely know me!!!!!! He sat there holding me and kissing my arm where the stiches strive to keep my skin together, he helped me change the dressing on my arm then we laid down and watched mean girls together I quickley fell asleep because he was running his fingers throught my hair. I wake up to see him gone and a singel rose where he once was sleeping, and a note saying sorry had to go to work all my love Joshnyah. why do I teart him so? I wish to treat him better butthis is all I know how to act toward people! I am not a loveing person, I am mean hatefull and hurtfull! I can kill you and not care I did so. I turefully do not know of any other way to act other then hateful to someone!