As Love Becomes My Only Fear...And Self-Hatred Is My Downfall.

Dec 15, 2004 05:03

WHY??
WHAT??

WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO???
WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO???
CUT IT ALL OFF???
DONE.
QUIT ALL OF IT???
DONE.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT TAKES.
ANYTHING FOR YOU...
ANYTHING.

CHANGE EVERYTHING I AM??!!!

ANYTHING.

Anything......but, i know it won't change anything.
Why do I try?
I'm not even depressed.
I'M JUST SO CONFUSED!!!!
ALL I WANT TO DO IS MAKE YOU HAPPY!!!
ALL I WANT TO DO IS HOLD YOU CLOSER THAN I EVER HAVE AND NEVER LET GO!!!

BUT, I'M SO AFRAID THAT IF I DO THAT, THAT YOU'LL HATE ME, OR BE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH ME AND WALK AWAY FOR GOOD!!!!!!!!!

I'm fine.
But, I don't know what to do when it comes to you anymore.
I just wish you would change your mind.
At any point,
I'll always be there for you.
I'm sorry I didn't get your message until about 2 hours ago.
I'm here.
I always have been.
I always will be.

I love you so much.

I'm sorry.

For everything.
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