Higbee '08: The space initiative

[den_down_unda]

I'm a big supporter of space exploration, and I have a very special goal for my Administration: the first manned mission to the Sun. I think there is much to be learned about how the Sun works and fusion in general. I also think it's a great way to get rid of extremely annoying people

Comments

[jeditigger]

I have long maintained a list of people I consider to be passengers for the one-way shuttle to the surface of the Sun, so I can see you and I are of like minds in some respects. I would add:

Fred Phelps, who takes hatemongering to a new and hurtful level and who I believe is suffering from the most rampant case of latent homosexuality in the history of mankind. If, after his death, silk and lace panties are discovered in his closet, I will consider life a good and just thing.

Donald Trump, for being Donald Trump.

For the figurehead: Karl Rove.

Those are just for starters. I have Helen Hunt and Celine Dion on my shuttle, but that's more spite and vexation than anything.

[den_down_unda]

I was thinking of Fred Phelps. If there is a Hell, he can regard the trip as practice.

[paranoid_monkey]

oooo! yes yes yes yes! and let's send his entire congregation with him!

i also heartily agree with tom cruise.

--pat robertson, for being a self-righteous son of a bitch who i am also willing to bet has lace panties in his closet
--anne coulter, for taking outrageous lying to whole new levels
--micheal savage. only he might be too pathetic, given that he turned hatemongering republican because he couldn't get dates as a leftist.

--katie holmes. i know it's mostly cruise's fault but ... she's annoying.

--tim allen. for reasons which should be obvious.

--tom arnold. just for being the most embarrassingly annoying human being ever.

[paranoid_monkey]

ooo, and micheal douglas. for subjecting the world to his naked ass in /basic instinct/, among many other sins. god that man is gross.

this game is too fun!

[den_down_unda]

As far as the Phelpses go, I might send his entire extended family, but I don't think the congregation all need to go-with the crazy sun at the center gone, the Asteriod Belt of Stupid that is the Westboro Baptist Church constituency will likely drift aimlessly into space.

Anne Coulter should definitely go-both because she takes slander and calumny to levels undreamed up by lard-ass junkie Rush Limbaugh and because she justifies her existence by the belief that she's attractive, which she isn't. She looks like a hooker-a cheap hooker.

I'd probably be more likely to send Rosanne than Tom Arnold. Tom Arnold is just a jerk-maybe a bigger, more embarassing jerk than most, but still just a jerk. Rosanne was the one who decided that her public life should be devoted to squandering the goodwill that her show created in the most embarassing fashion possible.

But that's just me. When I'm president, there can be a Cabinet-level post for determining who belongs on the manned Sun shot.

[paranoid_monkey]

ooo can i do it can i do it?? i'm good at being vindictive! i want power! muahahahahahahahahahahaaha!ahem.

yeah roseanne is pretty annoying. perhaps they should both go?

as for fred phelps' congregation, since iirc it is entirely made up of his extended family - they're a family cult, with a compound and everything i do believe - then it all works out.

can we send paris hilton? for being a skeletal fugly exhibitionist skank who probably (it would be so like her) spread that porn video online herself just to get a little more sleazefame?

[den_down_unda]

Yeah, Paris Hilton should go as the living embodiment of what's wrong with America at the turn of the millenium. I think we're going to need a lot of rockets. Note to self: Increase NASA's budget.