i haven't wrote in forever..
just sometimes i need to get itt out
you know get it out so i don't have to feel it inside
well i don't talk to ryan anymore
after that one night i drank a whole bottle and kinda puked on him
(at least that's what they said happened
in actuality i don't remember anything after
i held up the empty bottle of vodka like
( Read more... )

Sometimes I don't even want to.
I have to literally force myself to draw the razor blade across my skin.
and it hurts.
a lot.
it used to be a blade. but now it's a razor.
in the shower, deeper and deeper.
the deeper i cut, the less i hurt.
my mom thinks i stopped.
she doesn't make me go to my crazy doctor anymore.
which is good because she was a fucking ( Read more... )