Memoria da Ieri - 5
Fandom: DBSK/TVXQ/JYJ
Pairing: MinSu (Changmin x Junsu), HoSu (Yunho x Junsu)
Rating: PG - M
Length: Chaptered
Genre: Romance, Angst, Medical, Psychology
Summary:Changmin had never known memories could be so powerful, until he met Junsu.
Flickr!
Junsu pushed the button. Hearing the sound, the butterfly flapped its wings, spreading a thin veil of powder behind it and flew away.
Junsu’s eyes followed it.
The butterfly flew away.
“Don’t go!”
Junsu called after it. The butterfly net flung up in a desperate attempt to capture the beautiful creature. A beautiful creature and Junsu knew he could make it into a nice drawing on a beautiful sheet of paper.
Rattle rattle…
“Ouch!”
Junsu slided on the pebbles and tripped. He looked up and saw that beautiful pair of wings flapping under the twinkling sunshine, as if they were laughing at him.
“Meanie…”
He mumbled, and at the same time noticed the stringent, throbbing pain on his left knee. “Aiya…”
Bad, bad. With this wound on his knee, he wouldn’t be able to hide it from uncle Jihoon that he had been sneaking out of the house during nap time to chase after butterflies. And Yunho-hyung would be so mad too. Yunho-hyung was always so protective. Though a small pout could make all ideas of getting angry at Junsu to fly away from Yunho’s head, sure the older cousin would go any lengths to prevent Junsu from playing “childish, dangerous games” anymore.
But why was Junsu worrying about such things, when he couldn’t even bring himself up to get back from the garden into the house now? It hurt quite a bit and Junsu worried he might have fractured his knee too. It had hit right upon a rock. Junsu started to tear up.
“Hey, are you ok? Can you stand up?”
But then there was a gentle voice. And a hand with long, bony but beautiful fingers were given to him. When Junsu looked up, he thought he was seeing a fairy.
“Hey, what are you doing?”
Junsu thought he was seeing a fairy. But it was just Changmin seonsaeng-nim who was standing in front of him. For a moment Junsu wasn’t sure it was the reality he was living at. Was this right now or was this 5 years ago, when they first met?
He then realized even when he didn’t know where he was, he could still say something. “Just taking pictures of butterflies, seonsaeng-nim.”
“Taking pictures of butterflies?” The handsome, older man blinked.
“Yes. Actually I should chase after and capture them, really collect them. But apparently I can’t because I can’t even run for long.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry, but it’s gonna hurt a bit, ok?”
Junsu nodded, much like he was hypnotized, but the male fairy didn’t see it. The fairy was busy disinfecting the wound on Junsu’s knee and it hurt so bad but Junsu suppressed all of it behind his biting lips. He shouldn’t let the fairy think he was a cry-baby, though he really was, because fairies wouldn’t like cry-babies would they? And this fairy wasn’t uncle Jihoon or Yunho-hyung to spoil him and always forgive his mischievousness.
“See, it’s done. Good child.” The fairy patted Junsu’s head.
“W… what’s your name?” Junsu blinked, again at the extremely handsome face he was seeing.
“What? You should use proper honorifics. I’m Changmin-ahjussi,” said the fairy.
“That’s not a very common name,” Junsu said, “You’re so handsome, Changmin-hyung.”
“Changmin-ahjussi,” Changmin said again, obviously taking more offense at the inappropriate use of words than at the inappropriate comment. “What are you, 13?”
“I’ll be 14 this December!”
“I’m 8 years older than you. Shouldn’t you be calling me ahjussi instead?”
“Nuh-uh,” Junsu shook his head. “You’re just as old as my hyung. I’ll call you Changmin-hyung.”
“Aish, this kid…”
Right then, a person arrived at the door. “Hey Changmin, when did you come?”
Then there walked in Junsu’s cousin. “Yunho-hyung!” Junsu called happily. He swung his legs from the top of the kitchen table and the wound, properly bandaged, didn’t hurt. The fairy… no, Changmin, was really magical!
“What are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be taking your nap after lunch now, Junsu?” Seeing the little boy, Yunho reprimanded.
“Nap?” Changmin said surprisingly, “But he was…”
But then Changmin saw Junsu shaking his head exasperatingly from behind Yunho’s back, so he swallowed and said instead, “… he’s your cousin?”
“Yes, he’s my cousin Junsu,” Yunho said fondly. “Junsu, this is Changmin. He’s at the same university as me. Greet Changmin-hyung, Junsu.”
That year, Changmin was 22 and a senior at college. Junsu was 14, home-schooled because he was a Minister’s secret nephew.
“That’s a… nice camera,” Changmin said, lamely, mostly because he didn’t know how to start a conversation. He knew curiosity was bad but there was something about this Junsu boy that made him want to look into… like a kind of instinct that tell him he should do it.
They were talking about an antique-looking, traditional film-using photo camera Junsu was holding.
“This is a gift from my uncle,” Junsu said. The way he called the Prime Minister "uncle" so casually could impress anyone.
“And what is this?”
Changmin picked up the book sitting next to Junsu. The cover read, “Traditional Photo Handling Techniques”.
“You really have a lot of hobbies, don’t you?” Changmin commented.
“You mean I’m not serious about any? Well, you also said that the other day.”
“No, I don’t mean so…”
“Don’t worry, I don’t mind it.”
He liked it, in fact. Because…
“Hyung, I like you!”
“What?”
Changmin had to put down the book he was reading. What was this kid up to again?
“Hyung, I like you a lot. Please be my boyfriend? No, please make me your boyfriend, please?”
Changmin massaged his temples. Really. That Junsu was home-schooled shouldn’t make the boy this oblivious to the fact that guys should be with girls and not with other guys, let alone… young boys like Junsu. But homosexuality and pedophilia probably weren’t good topics to discuss right now, so Changmin tried to avoid them. He should treat this conversation like what it exactly was: a kid’s whim.
“No you don’t, Junsu.”
“I don’t? What do you mean?” Junsu protested indignantly.
“Junsu,” Changmin explained to Junsu like to a five-year-old, “You like me like you like your butterflies, your kaleidoscopes, your cameras, your watercolor set... You’re not serious about anything among those, so don’t make my case sound so dramatic, people might misunderstand.”
“What? But I’m serious about you!”
“Aish!” Changmin blushed.
The book was amazing. Being someone not experienced about art, Changmin had always thought photo manipulation only came into existence when Photoshop was invented. Apparently though, a lot of photos in this books were handled with old techniques, but the difference between before and after really surprised Changmin.
As he flipped through the pages, something especially caught his attention. For among a lot of unfamiliar photos, there appeared a face that he actually knew.
The two pictures were of Vladimir Ilyich Lenin giving a speech on a podium. What gave him chills was, the two pictures were identical save for in one there was a man standing to the left of Lenin, while in the other there was not. Looking at the two photos at the same time, one could think the man next to Lenin was a ghost or something.
Thinking until here, Changmin’s face turned green. It was when he heard Junsu’s laughter.
It was a beautiful laughter. He turned to the side, and saw Junsu laughing. Junsu said, “You’re scared of ghosts, Changmin-seonsaengnim. You shouldn’t look at that stuff.”
“I’m not scared!” Changmin tried to sound convincing. To make it even more convincing, he opened the page again with bravado. “What is this?” He pointed at the pictures.
“Oh,” Junsu leaned closer, and Changmin’s heart suddenly picked up speed without him knowing why. Changmin tried to suppress it but to no avail. Granted Junsu wasn’t his patient anymore but he never was easily affected like this even by non-patients.
“That’s Lenin with Leon Trotsky,” Junsu said.
“Trotsky?” Changmin repeated, trying to distract himself. He had heard the name before but didn’t remember it so clearly. After the accident, some of what he had learned in school also got affected... mostly in subjects he didn’t really like. History was one of them.
“Yeah, Trotsky. He was a prominent figure in the USSR’s Communist Party of the early days. He was Lenin’s trusted person, and he directly orchestrated the October Revolution. He was actually the “heir apparent” to the position of leading the Communist Party after Lenin’s death.”
“Oh, then what happened?” Because apparently Stalin was the one that came to power.
“Oh, then Stalin used schemes, ruthless schemes, to wipe Trotsky off. Trotsky was a proud man and didn’t have the shrewness required to play the political game. So yeah eventually he had to flee from the state he had helped building up. Stalin tracked him down everywhere. Stalin wasn’t going to let him go so easily. So some ten years later Trotsky was assassinated while in hiding in Mexico. A few gun shots from outside the window, and he died in his favorite armchair.”
Junsu’s description was so graphic that Changmin had to grimace. “Politics is really cruel. I never liked it much.”
“But that’s not the cruelest part,” Junsu smiled. “Why did they alter the original picture to make it like the second one, seonsaeng-nim?”
“To scare me, perhaps?” Changmin shrugged.
Junsu laughed again and Changmin realized he liked the sound of Junsu’s laughter. “No, seonsaeng-nim. It was because Stalin was trying to erase everything about Trotsky. Everything that reminded people of Trotsky had to be gone. Including photos.”
“…” Changmin blinked. What was Junsu trying to say?
“That was the cruel part, seonsaengnim. Killing a person is not the worst. The worst is to make a person go forgotten. When you’re forgotten by the people, the person,” Junsu emphasized,”…you love, like you have never existed, that is so hurtful you don’t even know it, seonsaeng-nim.”
All the time he was saying this, Junsu was looking deeply into Changmin’s eyes.
“What do you... want to say, Junsu?” Changmin felt unable to move. “Do you know… something about me?” Changmin couldn’t help but ask. An absurd question... of course Junsu didn't know anything about Changmin. But why had he asked that?
Junsu smiled again. Such a sad, bitter smile and Changmin found no trace of the mischievous boy he met the first time in the hospital room a few weeks ago. It hurt Changmin without reason. “Seonsaeng-nim, are you getting married soon?”
Changmin couldn’t breathe. Why did Junsu ask such a thing. He answered it nevertheless. “Yeah.”
Junsu felt like a thousand blades just stabbed his heart but he tried to hide it.
“Do you… love her?”
After a second, Changmin answered in a whisper, “…yes.”
The corner of Junsu’s mouth lifted up in a scary manner it made goosebumps go all over Changmin’s body.
“That is so…” Junsu mumbled. And all of a sudden, he lifted the camera he was holding and smashed it down a rock near where they were sitting. The smashing sound chased all blood away from Changmin’s face.
“Hahahahahahahahaha…” Junsu laughed like sanity had gone from his mind. Changmin could swear it was the scariest moment he had ever experienced in life. He was just stunned on his feet.
End 5
This link contains some of the most famous photos that went through manipulation to remove certain people from them, to serve propaganda purposes in the Stalin regime. Including the Trotsky photos mentioned in this chapter (the 3rd pair). Kamenev, another prominent figure who was to be purged by Stalin later, was also removed from this one.
I'm a fan of horror movies but it also creeped me out when I first saw these pictures.
Pairing: MinSu (Changmin x Junsu), HoSu (Yunho x Junsu)
Rating: PG - M
Length: Chaptered
Genre: Romance, Angst, Medical, Psychology
Summary:Changmin had never known memories could be so powerful, until he met Junsu.
Flickr!
Junsu pushed the button. Hearing the sound, the butterfly flapped its wings, spreading a thin veil of powder behind it and flew away.
Junsu’s eyes followed it.
The butterfly flew away.
“Don’t go!”
Junsu called after it. The butterfly net flung up in a desperate attempt to capture the beautiful creature. A beautiful creature and Junsu knew he could make it into a nice drawing on a beautiful sheet of paper.
Rattle rattle…
“Ouch!”
Junsu slided on the pebbles and tripped. He looked up and saw that beautiful pair of wings flapping under the twinkling sunshine, as if they were laughing at him.
“Meanie…”
He mumbled, and at the same time noticed the stringent, throbbing pain on his left knee. “Aiya…”
Bad, bad. With this wound on his knee, he wouldn’t be able to hide it from uncle Jihoon that he had been sneaking out of the house during nap time to chase after butterflies. And Yunho-hyung would be so mad too. Yunho-hyung was always so protective. Though a small pout could make all ideas of getting angry at Junsu to fly away from Yunho’s head, sure the older cousin would go any lengths to prevent Junsu from playing “childish, dangerous games” anymore.
But why was Junsu worrying about such things, when he couldn’t even bring himself up to get back from the garden into the house now? It hurt quite a bit and Junsu worried he might have fractured his knee too. It had hit right upon a rock. Junsu started to tear up.
“Hey, are you ok? Can you stand up?”
But then there was a gentle voice. And a hand with long, bony but beautiful fingers were given to him. When Junsu looked up, he thought he was seeing a fairy.
“Hey, what are you doing?”
Junsu thought he was seeing a fairy. But it was just Changmin seonsaeng-nim who was standing in front of him. For a moment Junsu wasn’t sure it was the reality he was living at. Was this right now or was this 5 years ago, when they first met?
He then realized even when he didn’t know where he was, he could still say something. “Just taking pictures of butterflies, seonsaeng-nim.”
“Taking pictures of butterflies?” The handsome, older man blinked.
“Yes. Actually I should chase after and capture them, really collect them. But apparently I can’t because I can’t even run for long.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry, but it’s gonna hurt a bit, ok?”
Junsu nodded, much like he was hypnotized, but the male fairy didn’t see it. The fairy was busy disinfecting the wound on Junsu’s knee and it hurt so bad but Junsu suppressed all of it behind his biting lips. He shouldn’t let the fairy think he was a cry-baby, though he really was, because fairies wouldn’t like cry-babies would they? And this fairy wasn’t uncle Jihoon or Yunho-hyung to spoil him and always forgive his mischievousness.
“See, it’s done. Good child.” The fairy patted Junsu’s head.
“W… what’s your name?” Junsu blinked, again at the extremely handsome face he was seeing.
“What? You should use proper honorifics. I’m Changmin-ahjussi,” said the fairy.
“That’s not a very common name,” Junsu said, “You’re so handsome, Changmin-hyung.”
“Changmin-ahjussi,” Changmin said again, obviously taking more offense at the inappropriate use of words than at the inappropriate comment. “What are you, 13?”
“I’ll be 14 this December!”
“I’m 8 years older than you. Shouldn’t you be calling me ahjussi instead?”
“Nuh-uh,” Junsu shook his head. “You’re just as old as my hyung. I’ll call you Changmin-hyung.”
“Aish, this kid…”
Right then, a person arrived at the door. “Hey Changmin, when did you come?”
Then there walked in Junsu’s cousin. “Yunho-hyung!” Junsu called happily. He swung his legs from the top of the kitchen table and the wound, properly bandaged, didn’t hurt. The fairy… no, Changmin, was really magical!
“What are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be taking your nap after lunch now, Junsu?” Seeing the little boy, Yunho reprimanded.
“Nap?” Changmin said surprisingly, “But he was…”
But then Changmin saw Junsu shaking his head exasperatingly from behind Yunho’s back, so he swallowed and said instead, “… he’s your cousin?”
“Yes, he’s my cousin Junsu,” Yunho said fondly. “Junsu, this is Changmin. He’s at the same university as me. Greet Changmin-hyung, Junsu.”
That year, Changmin was 22 and a senior at college. Junsu was 14, home-schooled because he was a Minister’s secret nephew.
“That’s a… nice camera,” Changmin said, lamely, mostly because he didn’t know how to start a conversation. He knew curiosity was bad but there was something about this Junsu boy that made him want to look into… like a kind of instinct that tell him he should do it.
They were talking about an antique-looking, traditional film-using photo camera Junsu was holding.
“This is a gift from my uncle,” Junsu said. The way he called the Prime Minister "uncle" so casually could impress anyone.
“And what is this?”
Changmin picked up the book sitting next to Junsu. The cover read, “Traditional Photo Handling Techniques”.
“You really have a lot of hobbies, don’t you?” Changmin commented.
“You mean I’m not serious about any? Well, you also said that the other day.”
“No, I don’t mean so…”
“Don’t worry, I don’t mind it.”
He liked it, in fact. Because…
“Hyung, I like you!”
“What?”
Changmin had to put down the book he was reading. What was this kid up to again?
“Hyung, I like you a lot. Please be my boyfriend? No, please make me your boyfriend, please?”
Changmin massaged his temples. Really. That Junsu was home-schooled shouldn’t make the boy this oblivious to the fact that guys should be with girls and not with other guys, let alone… young boys like Junsu. But homosexuality and pedophilia probably weren’t good topics to discuss right now, so Changmin tried to avoid them. He should treat this conversation like what it exactly was: a kid’s whim.
“No you don’t, Junsu.”
“I don’t? What do you mean?” Junsu protested indignantly.
“Junsu,” Changmin explained to Junsu like to a five-year-old, “You like me like you like your butterflies, your kaleidoscopes, your cameras, your watercolor set... You’re not serious about anything among those, so don’t make my case sound so dramatic, people might misunderstand.”
“What? But I’m serious about you!”
“Aish!” Changmin blushed.
The book was amazing. Being someone not experienced about art, Changmin had always thought photo manipulation only came into existence when Photoshop was invented. Apparently though, a lot of photos in this books were handled with old techniques, but the difference between before and after really surprised Changmin.
As he flipped through the pages, something especially caught his attention. For among a lot of unfamiliar photos, there appeared a face that he actually knew.
The two pictures were of Vladimir Ilyich Lenin giving a speech on a podium. What gave him chills was, the two pictures were identical save for in one there was a man standing to the left of Lenin, while in the other there was not. Looking at the two photos at the same time, one could think the man next to Lenin was a ghost or something.
Thinking until here, Changmin’s face turned green. It was when he heard Junsu’s laughter.
It was a beautiful laughter. He turned to the side, and saw Junsu laughing. Junsu said, “You’re scared of ghosts, Changmin-seonsaengnim. You shouldn’t look at that stuff.”
“I’m not scared!” Changmin tried to sound convincing. To make it even more convincing, he opened the page again with bravado. “What is this?” He pointed at the pictures.
“Oh,” Junsu leaned closer, and Changmin’s heart suddenly picked up speed without him knowing why. Changmin tried to suppress it but to no avail. Granted Junsu wasn’t his patient anymore but he never was easily affected like this even by non-patients.
“That’s Lenin with Leon Trotsky,” Junsu said.
“Trotsky?” Changmin repeated, trying to distract himself. He had heard the name before but didn’t remember it so clearly. After the accident, some of what he had learned in school also got affected... mostly in subjects he didn’t really like. History was one of them.
“Yeah, Trotsky. He was a prominent figure in the USSR’s Communist Party of the early days. He was Lenin’s trusted person, and he directly orchestrated the October Revolution. He was actually the “heir apparent” to the position of leading the Communist Party after Lenin’s death.”
“Oh, then what happened?” Because apparently Stalin was the one that came to power.
“Oh, then Stalin used schemes, ruthless schemes, to wipe Trotsky off. Trotsky was a proud man and didn’t have the shrewness required to play the political game. So yeah eventually he had to flee from the state he had helped building up. Stalin tracked him down everywhere. Stalin wasn’t going to let him go so easily. So some ten years later Trotsky was assassinated while in hiding in Mexico. A few gun shots from outside the window, and he died in his favorite armchair.”
Junsu’s description was so graphic that Changmin had to grimace. “Politics is really cruel. I never liked it much.”
“But that’s not the cruelest part,” Junsu smiled. “Why did they alter the original picture to make it like the second one, seonsaeng-nim?”
“To scare me, perhaps?” Changmin shrugged.
Junsu laughed again and Changmin realized he liked the sound of Junsu’s laughter. “No, seonsaeng-nim. It was because Stalin was trying to erase everything about Trotsky. Everything that reminded people of Trotsky had to be gone. Including photos.”
“…” Changmin blinked. What was Junsu trying to say?
“That was the cruel part, seonsaengnim. Killing a person is not the worst. The worst is to make a person go forgotten. When you’re forgotten by the people, the person,” Junsu emphasized,”…you love, like you have never existed, that is so hurtful you don’t even know it, seonsaeng-nim.”
All the time he was saying this, Junsu was looking deeply into Changmin’s eyes.
“What do you... want to say, Junsu?” Changmin felt unable to move. “Do you know… something about me?” Changmin couldn’t help but ask. An absurd question... of course Junsu didn't know anything about Changmin. But why had he asked that?
Junsu smiled again. Such a sad, bitter smile and Changmin found no trace of the mischievous boy he met the first time in the hospital room a few weeks ago. It hurt Changmin without reason. “Seonsaeng-nim, are you getting married soon?”
Changmin couldn’t breathe. Why did Junsu ask such a thing. He answered it nevertheless. “Yeah.”
Junsu felt like a thousand blades just stabbed his heart but he tried to hide it.
“Do you… love her?”
After a second, Changmin answered in a whisper, “…yes.”
The corner of Junsu’s mouth lifted up in a scary manner it made goosebumps go all over Changmin’s body.
“That is so…” Junsu mumbled. And all of a sudden, he lifted the camera he was holding and smashed it down a rock near where they were sitting. The smashing sound chased all blood away from Changmin’s face.
“Hahahahahahahahaha…” Junsu laughed like sanity had gone from his mind. Changmin could swear it was the scariest moment he had ever experienced in life. He was just stunned on his feet.
End 5
This link contains some of the most famous photos that went through manipulation to remove certain people from them, to serve propaganda purposes in the Stalin regime. Including the Trotsky photos mentioned in this chapter (the 3rd pair). Kamenev, another prominent figure who was to be purged by Stalin later, was also removed from this one.
I'm a fan of horror movies but it also creeped me out when I first saw these pictures.