**Suprise you to find that I'm laughing, you thought that you'd find me in tears.**

[deliriumseyes]

I've been having some strange dreams lately. Not sure why either. The last one was quite... refreshing. Ha... well, some parts of it were, anyhow. So, once there was this stupid fuck named Michael Douglas T. *Last names are EVIL* He's a total jerk, a liar, a thief, manipulator, and a bastard with a really teeny dick. At any rate... in short, this person lied to ALL my friends and basically everyone but like 2 people believed him, and totally deserted me because of him. He told everyone I WAS lying to them... when I've never lied to them. He tried to ruin my life when all I ever did was love him. I don't understand what I did to make him take everything from me. I never did or said anything unkind to him. But alas, a fucking prick is a fucking prick, and he only cares about one thing. What everyone else thinks about him. He's the most unhappy person I've ever met in my life, and will continue to be that way until the day he dies. I can only hope that one day, Karma will take a very ridged, sharp object, and stick it in his lying ass, repeatedly, until he can't stand it anymore, and screams like the little bitch that he is. Then, do it more and more and more and more.. hahahaHAHAHA! Well anyhow, in my dream... I saw him, drivin' down the street... He stopped and starting calling for me to come to him.. that he wanted to talk to me. At first, for some reason, I was scared of this little short, portly man. Then I was like OH FUCK THAT.. and started charging him at a dead run. He tried to apologize about everything, but I just starting spitting on him, and kicking him, punching him, and doing anything I possibly could to hurt him. I wanted to kill him. That was the best dream ever. I've thought about that moment in my head, so many times. About what I'd do if I saw his stupid little red car drive by me. I'd pick up the biggest rocks I could effectively throw and start pummeling his car with them. Then, when he got out to see what the fuck was going on.. I'd start throwing them at him, and kick him in this stupid sterile little nuts as hard as I could. He hurt me more than anyone has. Including my father who beat the snot out of me because he couldn't kick his addiction to meth. I can honestly say that I wish Michael was dead. I hate him so much.. still, to this day. I know that's bad to say... but if you only knew... He didn't lie about just little things, or just big things.. it was EVERYTHING HE EVER TOLD ME AND MY FRIENDS. He said he was a firefighter: LIE. He said he was in the Navy: BIG FAT LIE. He said he was an EMT: EVEN BIGGER LIE. He said he cared about me and would never hurt me: BIGGEST LIE OF THEM ALL. He even had the audacity to tell my friends that I was just a nieve little girl who read too much into a man being a little too nice to me. FUCK HIM. blah. Oh and you know what the kicker is? I have the most wonderful, beautiful, perfect, kight in shining armor boyfriend now. I love him with every ounce of my being. We moved up to vancouver together because of his job. We had aboslutely no control over where we moved, unfortunately, because I'd rather live in Eugene. But, guess who lives like 5 miles from my apartment? Oh yeah, Michael. DIE DIE, MY DARLING! lol It bothers to me to think that I could hate someone as much as I hate him. I'd like to think that I'm not capable of that kind of emotion. I'd never do anything to put his life in jeopardy or anything. I would, however, beat the FUCK out of him, given the chance. And vandalize his car, slash his tires.. all that good stuff. Wow, I'm on a total rampage here. Guess that happens when you're talking about someone who had all the intentions of making you feel so shitty that you'd kill yourself. I hope he gets herpes for his birthday. Is that evil? Ah well, who gives a shit?! Certianly not me. Anyhow, I better lay of this tangant, or it's going to cramp my happy mood for the day. I'm going to go stick my nose back in my book. I just started a new one.. Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil by John Berendt. I guess they made a movie out of it with Kevin Spacey in it... I haven't seen it. Maybe I'll watch it after I finish the book, and just be pissed, because books made into movies always suck.

After the rain,
*Melyssa*