(no subject)
Title: Be Strong
Author: Miss Capitaine/deliciouslycrzy
Rating: T
Genre: Angst
Characters: Danny Ross, Elizabeth Rodgers, Zach Nichols
Pairings: Danny Ross/Elizabeth Rodgers
Summary: AU.
Warnings: Character Death?
Spoilers:
Disclaimer: I just realized that I needed a better disclaimer. * deep breath * I do not own Law & Order Criminal Intent, I make no such claims to the wonderful works of Dick Wolf, whom I both love and despise at the same time. If I did own L&OCI, it would most definitely need to be on HBO or some similar channel. I do, however, own Travis Dane, who lives in my closet and fixes my compute when needed. He's happy as long as I keep him stocked up with food and interactive leather and rubber bondage porno.
Note: If you want to blame anyone, blame my beta, watashi_wa_13 . Its all her fault. I told her I wanted to write some angst and she was like, “ You should kill off _____” I wasn't going to do it, but the inspiration was planted.
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Usually, Danny needs no prompting to visit the morgue.
Usually, he would take any chance offered to visit that particularly cold portion of One Police Plaza, just on the off chance that he would catch a glimpse of her. He enjoys his daily visits with her; he'll bring coffee and after discussing whatever case happened to be on their minds on the day, their conversation usually takes a more mundane turn. It usually only lasts a few minutes, before real life decides to finally butt in and remind them that they have other things to do. He doesn't mind. He loves spending time with her, so he takes what he can get.
He loves the way that she's still surprised whenever he comes into her office in the mornings. It's been their routine for a year now, but she is still surprised. Her reaction is never obvious, just as she is never obvious; He'll enter, and she'll look up, and he knows that no one else would recognize the quick flash of shock that still flickers across her eyes, as if she's thinking, 'he's come back?' and he knows its not a sign of her boredom with what they have, but her shock that its managed to last this long. It will then disappear, and Danny will be left wondering whether or not it was even there in the first place. She'll invite him in, accept his offered cup of coffee, and he'll sit on the couch in the corner of her office and they'll just talk.
So, yeah, he usually needs no prompting to visit the morgue.
Today, even getting into the elevator is a chore, and he feels as though if Zach wasn't there, a supportive arm wrapped around his shoulders, he would fall, fall to his knees, curl up against the strangely cold wall of the elevator, and not move. He doesn't want to go there.
It takes all he has to walk through the doors to the autopsy room, where Elizabeth Rodgers waits for him.
He doesn't want to go, but he does.
For her.
-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-
He had woken that morning to her warm body pressed against his, her breath warm against his cheek as she continued to sleep. She had a leg draped across his waist, the other pressed up against his thigh. Her arms were loosely wrapped around his neck, as though she had fallen asleep mid-embrace. His left arm was trapped by the warm curvature of her body, but he didn't really care. It wasn't often the two of them got the chance to sleep in on the same morning, so he figured his arm falling asleep was a miniscule price to pay for this happy little bubble they were in to remain un-popped.
She murmured something indistinct in his ear, the indecipherable mumblings of the soon to be awake, and he smiled softly; he turned so he was facing her, and his slight movement was enough to jostle her awake. Her eyelids flickered sleepily, and he could see her eyes through half-lidded lashes. “ Morning.” She muttered, her voice hoarse from sleep. “ What time is it?” He shrugged his shoulders slightly in response, and Elizabeth rolled her eyes tiredly. She extricated herself from him, supposedly to look at her phone, and Danny felt a rush of emptiness. He rolled over on his side, and watched her as she sat up and began fumbling around the bedside table for her cell-phone.
“ It's only 4 AM.” She said, answering her own question, and she groaned slightly as she fell back against the pillows. “ I'm going back to sleep.” Danny nodded; Elizabeth curled up next to him, resting her chin on his shoulder, and Danny wrapped an arm around her waist. Elizabeth hummed contentedly. “ Love you.” She mumbled, and Danny pressed a kiss to her forehead in response.”
“Love you too.”
Four hours later, Danny woke once more, this time to an empty bed.
There was a note on her pillow, with a simple, 'Called in early, meet me for lunch? Don't forget my coffee. love, E'. He smiled and got out of bed, thinking he was ready to face the day.
-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-
The cold seeps into his bones, makes him sluggish, and he has to stop. The fluorescent lighting is so bright, it burns at his eyes. He blinks. Zach is watching him, an oddly concerned look in his eyes. He wonders why, until he realizes that the lights aren't bothering Zach.
He brushes at his eyes with a hand; It comes back wet.
He's crying.
He shouldn't be crying
He should be strong, he has to be strong.
For her. For Liz. She's the strongest person he knows, and she deserves this.
He feels something in his throat, a lump, and he covers his mouth, the sudden feeling that he was about to vomit coming over him. He swears, and closes his eyes.
He has to see Elizabeth.
-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-
He met her for lunch later that day, at a small diner around the corner. She looked tired, but she managed a smile for him when he slid into a booth across from her. Their small-talk hadn't amounted to much, so they had just sat in companionable silence as they ate.
Danny didn't notice the kid standing by the lunch counter, didn't notice that he appeared to be pacing, didn't notice the looks the kid kept giving a guy sitting by the door, didn't notice the fact that even though it was a warm August day, two of the patrons of the diner were wearing large, bulky leather coats.
He was a cop.
He should have noticed these things. It was his job to notice.
He and Elizabeth had been walking out; it was the end of her lunch hour, and he had to be getting back too. He had been holding her hand, a small gesture that had not gone unnoticed by her, one that she had kissed him soundly for. She had been talking about an opera that had recently come to Lincoln Center, and he had been nodding along when he had caught a glimpse of it, out of the corner of his eye.
A familiar flash, of sunlight hitting metal.
“ Get down!”
There was a shot.
Danny remembered trying to talk the shooters down, remembered Elizabeth standing behind him, still holding his hand in spite of the gun pointed at both of them. He remembered another shot. Remembered his hand suddenly feeling empty.
Remembered seeing Elizabeth.
On the ground.
Covered in blood.
Danny's vision blurred, and his memory went fuzzy.
He didn't remember pulling his gun.
Didn't remember getting clipped in the shoulder as he took down the bastard who-
He didn't remember the diner suddenly being swarmed with cops. Doesn't remember dropping his gun.
He did remember that he fell to his knees next to Elizabeth, who was horrifyingly quiet and still on the cold linoleum. He remembered pressing his hands to her chest and feeling her blood staining his hands, as he tried to stop it flowing. Remembered her eyes staring at him, fearful and shocked.
After that, things became sort of blurry.
-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-
Danny walks into the autopsy room, and while it was something he has done thousands of times before, he feels momentarily, as though he can't do it.
He stops. He knows that once he sees whats in the room, once he sees Elizabeth, everything will change, nothing will be the same.
But at the same time, he knows its a bunch of shit.
Everything has already changed, nothings the same, he just has yet to catch up.
He keeps walking.
She's there, she's waiting for him. Her short blonde hair is neatly brushed, her skin pale and luminous in the dull lighting. Her eyes are closed. A white sheet covered her, more so than the usual occupants of this room, more so than those who usually lay on that cold, unfeeling metal table.
Danny can taste the bile rising in his throat, and he covers his mouth again. He can feel his eyes beginning to sting.
He walks over to her, and he realizes that its not actually her.
A corpse is all that's left.
She's gone.
-/-/-/-/-/-/-
He woke with a start, eyes wide and skin covered in sweat. He glanced over, almost hesitantly, at the left side of the bed, where she lay, her still form curled up by his side. Its dark, maybe four AM, but he could clearly see the white bandage wrapped around her abdomen where he knew the gunshot wound was.
He watched her, almost fearfully, until he saw her chest move in a breath.
He sighed in relief.
Just a dream.
With that only vaguely reassuring thought ringing in his mind, Danny laid back down next to Elizabeth, his hand curling protectively around hers even as he began to fall back asleep.
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