Freaks & Geeks

[dedalusj]

 Today was strange.  Last night ㅈ and I had a great time at 홍대 and then this morning I was going to join four of my Japanese classmates for a mini-tour around Seoul (tomorrow is the last day of class and then some of them are returning to Japan the very next day.)  Originally, ㅈ was going to go home a study but she ended up joining us.  We met in

Comments

[dedalusj]

You are, of course, probably right, but this just fucks with my sense of identity in such a fundiamental way. Part of my learning to be social was to intigrate some of my social awkwardness and shoot for eccentric rather than inept. To do this though requires that I believe that the people around me, actually want to be around me.

It helps to have had a girlfriend present to be evidence that all was not lost and to comment that the whole thing was "damn bullshit," (her exact words.) It prevented me from blaming myself(the unual course of action)and allowed me to get out of my own subjective and biased opinion of the situation and see what happened more accuratly and honestly. And it meant that someone was on my side ^^.

[samedi]

Unfortunately, it sounds like you (and ㅈ) had the simple misfortune of being the linguistic minority as your Japanese classmates formed their own clique. Using Japanese might have been their way of displacing stress associated with the final day of class, although it wasn't exactly a very conscientious thing to do.

If you don't mind spending time around another somewhat socially awkward person and have a bit of free time during your stay in Seoul I would definitely like to meet you one of these days!

[phxgreenfire]

I know what you mean about the not being wanted thing. I get that feeling all the time.

[suna_sprite]

I have the same problem... the worrying about others being "annoyed by my presence" so badly to the point where I hardly leave the house, but I think I've gotten better the past few years. Sometimes it's hard to convince ourselves that some people are just rude and that it's not necessarily something we've done. I guess I'd better prepare for this type of thing if I should make it to Korea though, it seems?

[dedalusj]

I really don't think this was a "Korea thing" it just happened in Korea. Most of the time the opposite is true. Being a foreigner here makes you kind of special. People always remember you and often want to hang out with you a lot. Also some of the other foreingers here are even more socially maladjusted than I am. So, being in Korea has actually helped me a lot socially. But it seems the insecure high school version of me still lives.

[suna_sprite]

Yeah, that's good I guess. Sometimes I really don't know what to expect, whether its here or anywhere else. It seems that this is something we all must deal with throughout our lives no matter where we are.