im sorry to only you bryan.
i have moments of strength. when i feel like it doesnt matter what others say or want, i can just be. existence is managable. i have made my decision. it is final. i will lie. it is the best way. lie and continue. 'i am better' is what they will hear. and 'i eat' is what they'll see. i need nothing. no one. just ana. fuck bulimia too. it is for weak people. and i am strong in my convictions this time. it is gone. the pain. submerged in my pool of stifled tears. it is time to start anew. i hate the world and the people in it can fucking die miserable deaths. all of you. all of you. i will hate to see some of you go. but i will survive. i must. for myself. so here i am. no more food. restrict, fast, starve, die. happiness will ensue.