a lesson in breathing

[decadntmelnchly]

stifle the tears
you feel them coming
its scary
you used to know yourself so well
confident in a your protective walls
a world wrapped in cynicism
but now youre starting to want to trust someone
and the newness of it all makes you doubt everything
you worry constantly about letting go and
without your inhibitions the threat of nonexistence looms
i want to be ok
he lets me feel safe
and protects me
when i think of how much care he seems to show for me
i want to cry
my ribcage seizes
and my body burns up
its a feeling i cant articulate
but its so maddening i'll never stop trying to
my day revolves around that hug
sometimes i feel like its moving too fast
and i worry he'll tire of me
already i feel like we have more substance than most
we've spent almost every day together
and im not complaining
im just wondering
when this will slow down
once it does
will he see he was mistaken about his infatuation?
i think so
he makes her heart beat fast
her breathing becomes fast and erratic until its
sparse and almost nonexistent
then he calms her
teaches her how to breathe
cradles her insecurities
and kisses away the doubt
she smells of him of him for days to come
and it only makes the longing worse