Back again*
I seem to show up here and stay awhile and then I am gone again. My friends and family are all on Facebook where I write about me but filter out a lot of people because you really are not suppose to post long venting posts. Suppose to be a fun escape so I keep my f-list small. Better off that way.
*WARNING* In a very BAD place in my life as if it could be worse and it is and any of you that have read my older posts know what a downer I am so just letting you know now.
Also *SPOILERS* for AVENGER'S Infinity war* I will about half way down and then move on with the rest of my post.
This is very dark talk but don't worry, I am not going to off myself though it has been on my mind as one bad thing after another has been happening. Not sure I can even put it all down, just know here I don't have to worry about upsetting my family and I am not sure anyone reads my posts much when I am here.
Now that I am here I can't even get it out....here goes.... My son is failing 6th grade. Trying to get him into a private expensive school. He has dyslexia, ADHD, and who knows what else. We are having him tested. He was sexually molested by this boy next door more than once and this was probably about a year after we lost my husband to a massive heart attack at home. He never woke up. Then my son fell on the same neighbor's trampoline. Crushed the top of his mouth broke off two front teeth, the rest pushed up in his gums and his nose was knock to the side not badly, but it wasn't good. He needs a Septoplasty which can be done next year after he turns 14. He is on medications for depression, anxiety ADHD.
The advocate who is helping is angry at me and I can't go into it other than from now on I do what she says to make sure Alex doesn't have to stay in the lousy public Middle school he is in. She has teamed up with the mother in law aka Nana bitch! She had her come over to my house without calling today and I was in my Pj's in the kitchen, blinds up and she walks up to my back door. Jan gave her papers to take to me to fill out so Alex can go to the private school....anyway I don't get alone with the critical bitch at all! I am stuck with her because of my son, Alex. Their only grandchild. I usually put my phone on silent so she can't wake me on the weekends, I am sure Jan the advocate told her to drive to my house and wake me up, bang on the front and back door. She didn't even call me first and leave a message and I would have got dressed and told her to come over so I know Jan set it up. She is ruthless which is good when fighting for Alex, but I am on her bad side and that is not good.
Nana lied to Alex said she had told my parents I called her a bitch which yes I did, but she did not speak to my parents. Alex brought it up tonight at my parent's house and they had no idea what he was talking about and then my Dad gets onto me a 51 year old woman that I shouldn't talk that way. Nana set it up, she knew Alex would say something to them and then she could punish me. Childish stupid woman! I wish I could pack up and move to another town and start over, not tell them where we are going, find him a new advocate, find a husband for that fact. I'm dreaming cause my house is a mess and could be years before I move.
SPOILERS: AVENGERS INFINITY WAR:
*
*
*
Then on top of that, I go to Avengers, scared but hoping for a fun movie and some of it was fun, the battles, the humor, but right from the start it was brutal. I can't talk about it anymore other than Loki's death was beyond horrific, not fair to Tom or to his fans. WRONG! JUST WRONG! I got sick at my stomach and somehow the humor got me through the rest of it till the end which was horrible too but I will stop there. Marvel has made me hate them now. They better fix this! JERKS!! They owe us, we invested so much in these characters. I loved so many of them.
Ok, that is all the spoilers, just seeing that on top of the fight I had with his advocate, stupid she wanted to meet for lunch and I couldn't make it when she said, and I should have anyway. She said we could not wait even one more day. So now she won't return my phone calls or any text messages. So I am not saying anything else to her. I guess now she and Nana will team up and try to punish me while they try to get Alex in the private school. FUCK THEM! That is what Michael would have said. I will not call her anymore or text her. I won't give her the satisfaction of seeing me beg. I left a message saying I was sorry and would do whatever she wanted from now on. No more messages. Ball is in her court now. She can go through Nana or talk to me, but I won't be made to feel like a horrible person by them...I already feel like a bad mom, all they are doing is making me want to end my life. I have to say fuck'em and mean it or I just might. I am bipolar 2 and finally back on meds cause I can't sleep, I could make it till I couldn't sleep and then I can't function, so I gave in and am on medication that helps, just have to keep an eye on my weight. Known for causing a lot of weight gain. I can't handle that again.
*WARNING* In a very BAD place in my life as if it could be worse and it is and any of you that have read my older posts know what a downer I am so just letting you know now.
Also *SPOILERS* for AVENGER'S Infinity war* I will about half way down and then move on with the rest of my post.
This is very dark talk but don't worry, I am not going to off myself though it has been on my mind as one bad thing after another has been happening. Not sure I can even put it all down, just know here I don't have to worry about upsetting my family and I am not sure anyone reads my posts much when I am here.
Now that I am here I can't even get it out....here goes.... My son is failing 6th grade. Trying to get him into a private expensive school. He has dyslexia, ADHD, and who knows what else. We are having him tested. He was sexually molested by this boy next door more than once and this was probably about a year after we lost my husband to a massive heart attack at home. He never woke up. Then my son fell on the same neighbor's trampoline. Crushed the top of his mouth broke off two front teeth, the rest pushed up in his gums and his nose was knock to the side not badly, but it wasn't good. He needs a Septoplasty which can be done next year after he turns 14. He is on medications for depression, anxiety ADHD.
The advocate who is helping is angry at me and I can't go into it other than from now on I do what she says to make sure Alex doesn't have to stay in the lousy public Middle school he is in. She has teamed up with the mother in law aka Nana bitch! She had her come over to my house without calling today and I was in my Pj's in the kitchen, blinds up and she walks up to my back door. Jan gave her papers to take to me to fill out so Alex can go to the private school....anyway I don't get alone with the critical bitch at all! I am stuck with her because of my son, Alex. Their only grandchild. I usually put my phone on silent so she can't wake me on the weekends, I am sure Jan the advocate told her to drive to my house and wake me up, bang on the front and back door. She didn't even call me first and leave a message and I would have got dressed and told her to come over so I know Jan set it up. She is ruthless which is good when fighting for Alex, but I am on her bad side and that is not good.
Nana lied to Alex said she had told my parents I called her a bitch which yes I did, but she did not speak to my parents. Alex brought it up tonight at my parent's house and they had no idea what he was talking about and then my Dad gets onto me a 51 year old woman that I shouldn't talk that way. Nana set it up, she knew Alex would say something to them and then she could punish me. Childish stupid woman! I wish I could pack up and move to another town and start over, not tell them where we are going, find him a new advocate, find a husband for that fact. I'm dreaming cause my house is a mess and could be years before I move.
SPOILERS: AVENGERS INFINITY WAR:
*
*
*
Then on top of that, I go to Avengers, scared but hoping for a fun movie and some of it was fun, the battles, the humor, but right from the start it was brutal. I can't talk about it anymore other than Loki's death was beyond horrific, not fair to Tom or to his fans. WRONG! JUST WRONG! I got sick at my stomach and somehow the humor got me through the rest of it till the end which was horrible too but I will stop there. Marvel has made me hate them now. They better fix this! JERKS!! They owe us, we invested so much in these characters. I loved so many of them.
Ok, that is all the spoilers, just seeing that on top of the fight I had with his advocate, stupid she wanted to meet for lunch and I couldn't make it when she said, and I should have anyway. She said we could not wait even one more day. So now she won't return my phone calls or any text messages. So I am not saying anything else to her. I guess now she and Nana will team up and try to punish me while they try to get Alex in the private school. FUCK THEM! That is what Michael would have said. I will not call her anymore or text her. I won't give her the satisfaction of seeing me beg. I left a message saying I was sorry and would do whatever she wanted from now on. No more messages. Ball is in her court now. She can go through Nana or talk to me, but I won't be made to feel like a horrible person by them...I already feel like a bad mom, all they are doing is making me want to end my life. I have to say fuck'em and mean it or I just might. I am bipolar 2 and finally back on meds cause I can't sleep, I could make it till I couldn't sleep and then I can't function, so I gave in and am on medication that helps, just have to keep an eye on my weight. Known for causing a lot of weight gain. I can't handle that again.