07 HP Philosopher’s Stone
Ch7 The Sorting Hat
>Welcome to one of the Suest chapters in this book. Brace yourselves.
>You are right Harry; Minie is not somebody who you should cross. She might send you to a forest full of hungry monsters in the middle of the night.
>Either Hogwarts used to have much more students or wizards like to pointlessly show off.
>Minerva says that your House is going to be your family in Hogwarts. Considering the rest of this book, I don’t know if it tells more about dynamics in wizarding families or about Hogwarts.
>The House Cup is great honour that will be tarnished by Albus’ meddling.
>Weasley twins pranked Ron by telling him bunch of nonsense about the sorting Ceremony. While I’m all for jokes and good laugh, the longer I read about twins’ adventures the less I like them.
>How comes that the sorting ceremony is not a public knowledge? You would think that grownups would like their kids to have edge in sorting into the right house. As it is, it looks like initiations to frat house.
>Enter yet another description that feels like it was adapted from another script to this book.
>Can I point out how obnoxious are wizards to use golden plates and goblets? Silver, I could understand, especially since werewolves are a thing in this world, but gold is delicate. Giving golden tableware to teenagers is asking for a trouble.
>The hat is “patched and frayed and extremely dirty”. I’m honestly surprised that none of muggleborn first years protests putting this thing on their head. It sounds like at very least unpleasant experience, if not unhealthy.
>”There’s nothing hidden in your head,/ The Sorting Hat can’t see” Well if that isn’t creepy then I don’t know what it is.
>I honestly would prefer if Sorting Hat never told anyone what founders wanted in their students and let WW make their own assumptions. I would bet my kidney that nobody would make connection Slytherin=cunning and Gryffindor=chivalry.
>The sorting procedure still looks like something out of frat house initiation. Just saying.
>Harry worries that there is no house for him instead of worrying that upon seeing vast emptiness in his head, the Hat will grow a pair of legs and with high pitched scream run away.
>The twins are catcalling at Lavender???
>Damn it, Minnie speed up the ceremony or I’ll be driven insane by Harry’s pity-party.
>IMOH if Hermione ended up in Ravenclaw she would be bullied into submission by her housemates. Although perhaps after a first few weeks she would adjust her bossiness level to something manageable.
>Neville would really do better in Hufflepuff.
>”The Harry Potter?””Don’t be silly; you know very well that after he killed the dragon in the last book, he was send into alternative reality to fight against Goblin Rebellion. This one must be some muggleborn kid.”
>Not a bad mind? Thirst to prove himself? Talent? Hat, are you sure you are not reading Horcrux instead of Potter’s brain? As matter of fact, wouldn’t the Hat be able to detect the soul fragment?
>So Harry was “chosen” for Gryffindor and not “put” into Slytherin. Jo, I’m starting to suspect that you are using Houses as metaphor for something.
>Wait, so ghosts and Albus’ beard shines brighter than all this gold on the tables? Did House Elves passive-aggressively do half ass job of cleaning the plates and goblets?
>Aww, Percy congratulates Ron sorting. While I question how being brain scanned and send off to specific table is achievement, my cold black heart melts just a little at this.
>And here I thought that G.R.R.Martin didn’t have much competition in Food Porn department.
>”Like this.” Said Nick and proceeded to give a nightmare fuel to bunch of eleven year olds.
>Is that me or Seamus is the only curious Gryff sitting by this table? I seem to recall him wanting to hear Harry’s side in OotP before forming opinion, now he is asking how Bloody Baron got blood on himself....
>Neville’s family (besides abusing him) believed that he was “all-muggle”. What, did they thought that Alice adopted him or something? +1 to Crime Count for abuse
>I also wanted to note, that there is no emotional reaction from Harry to Neville’s explanation and sadly, because Harry gets distracted, we don’t see other kids reacting.
>I wonder: is Hermione genuinely interested in Transfiguration or just like with the House, she decides to invest herself into this subject, because this is Albus’ specialisation.
>I wonder what Hagrid is drinking “deeply” from his goblet.
>Ah, Chekov’s gun there you are. You are late a few chapters!
>How Percy learnt that Snape knows a lot about Dark Arts?
>No magic in corridors between classes, but nothing on experimenting on your classmates or hexing them. Got it!
>Expert educator Albus Dumbledore, who has over 50 years of experience in dealing with hormonal Gryffindors teenagers, tells whole school that certain corridor in this building is off limits unless you want to die. Words cannot describe my feelings towards this man.
>Meanwhile at Ravenclaw’s table, students are already starting to create contingency plans and lists of things they will need for exploration of said corridor. Estimated time of exploration: Saturday next week, don’t forget your towel!
>Look Jo I know I was harsh on you, but you don’t have to torture me with this “school song” insanity. We can talk it out like civilised people!
>+1 to Spell Count for Albus’ ribbon
>Twins are contrary because they can. I’m honestly surprised that none of other students try to hex them under the table.
>Prefects drag half comatose students towards dorms. They spend whole next week searching for lost first year students, who couldn’t even remember where their dorm is.
>Why the heck is Peter chewing on Ron’s sheets??? I know that at this point Peter to reader is a simple rat, but it makes me question when Jo decided that Ron’s pet= animagus. Also major plot hole for PoA: how comes that current owners of the Map never comment on Ron sleeping in one bed with someone?
Crime Count: 1
Death Count: 0
Freud Would Be Proud: 0
Leap of Logic: 0
Uncovered: 0
Spell Count: 1 for Albus