08 HP Philosopher’s Stone
Ch8 The Potions Master
>Wizarding kids act like Justin Beiber just visited the castle. Ugh.
>Harry has problems with finding his classroom (well duh) and instead of asking one of his adoring fans for directions he stumbles around.
>Description of Hogwarts’ architecture suggests that each year there are at least a few cases of death caused by whimsical changes in environment. +1 to Death Count for vanishing step. Can you imagine what happens when you go down stairs and one of steps disappears??
>Honestly, Hogwarts’ students are not very creative if they cannot figure out how to deal with a patrolling cat.
>”There was a lot more to magic, as Harry quickly found out, than waving your wand and saying a few funny words.” Really? The only people who use any other kind of magic are those characters that Jo seems to hate.
>Is furniture in Hogwarts’ enchanted or something? Apparently Flitwick has to stand on books instead of, I don’t know, changing size of his own desk? Also, apparently Fillius is fan of magical Beiber...Ugh
>I would think that Minerva would tell her students things like “don’t transfigure things into edible stuff” or something, but this is Hogwarts’- school where headmaster keeps a priceless magical artifact to protect it from certain undead Dark Lord. +1 to Spell Count for Minnie for transfiguration.
>WTF? Seamus once again asks about something, this time it’s how Quirrell had dealt with zombie.
>What kids from magical families do at home? I can understand that parents didn’t want them to do any wand magic, but aside from Neville’s green thumb and Draco’s skill at potion brewing, kids act like they started to exist only when our hero boarded Hogwarts’ Express.
>“Snape’s Head of Slytherin House. They say he always favors them - we’ll be able to see if it’s true.” Oh, sure if by favouring you mean not sending his students into forest full of beasts in the middle of night, then yeah Severus is favouring Slytherins.
>And then a large flock of birds flew into the Great Hall to spoil everybody’s breakfast by shitting all over them.
>Hagrid asks Harry for a date via letter. Harry misunderstands it and decides to ruin it by dragging Ron with him.
>Now, now Harry, hate is such a strong word. Severus just wishes that he could smother you in your sleep and finally be free from manipulations of leaders of both sides of war. Nothing personal. Yet.
>When teacher falls over himself for local celebrity it’s ok, but when they simply point him out during roll call it’s very mean.
>Sounds like Severus spend some time writing and practising this speech. Just right amount of melodrama and right wording to impress both Gryffs and Slyths.
>Fans tend to say that Snape is very mean in this scene, but nearly all my teachers started courses with quizzing or something like that to get feel how much we know. Yeah Sev here is bit harsh with wording, but he doesn’t take away points for Harry’s lack of knowledge, he does for back-talking. Can you honestly tell me that Minerva wouldn’t slap some negative points on Slytherin student if he said something similar to what Harry said?
>It seems to me that first month in this school should be spend on learning safety procedures, but that would be too modern for our great wizards. +1 to Death Count, something that melts cauldrons and burn holes in shoes cannot be healthy for you. Nor fumes from that mixture, now that I think.
>Hagrid, you really shouldn’t have chased away those mischievous twins from the forest. We could have been free from their nasty pranks and lame jokes! +1 to Crime Count for twins breaking rule about not entering the Forest.
>Question of the day: how does Hagrid bake those cakes? He doesn’t have oven and somehow I don’t think that elves are letting him demolish their kitchen.
>Hagrid, have you thought that Mrs. Norris might follow you, because you keep live mice in your pockets?
>”“Rubbish!” said Hagrid. “Why should he?” Yet Harry couldn’t help thinking that Hagrid didn’t quite meet his eyes when he said that.” Yes Hagrid, why don’t you tell Harry about that one time when Snape almost became werewolf-snack?
>Another Checkov’s gun? Jo I’m running out of the space on wall near fireplace.
>Woah, woah Harry slow down. Just because Hagrid emptied a vault, it doesn’t mean that it is the same one that somebody else tried to rob. +1 to Leap of Logic.
>The tea with Hagrid gave Harry more to think than any classes. In this moment any academic curiosity Harry had, evaporated.
Crime Count: 1
Death Count: 2
Freud Would Be Proud: 0
Leap of Logic: 1
Uncovered: 0
Spell Count: 1 for Minnie