running in circles
I feel like my life is going nowhere. I feel like i'm in a dream that I can't wake up from. Why am I alive? What is my purpose? I thought I was here to be with jeremy, I was wrong, he doesn't need me. Then I thought I could move in with Jenn to help her escape her crazy husband, she didn't need me either. Now I'm in CT to help my mom pay rent and not be alone and I can't give her that either. My job cut my hours. Now I can't even pay for my car let alone rent. And, plus I am never home because I can't stay in the house to long or I get a panic attack. I feel like I lose 4 years when I step in that house. Like I'm a slave whose freedom was stripped from them. But now since I don't have any money, I have no gas. No more freedom. I don't know what to do.
I want to move back to Nebraska in May. I want to get a job with jess and live happily up there with them. But, now that I don't have any money, I won't be able to do that. Also, Nadine from the cosmic cat wants me to create a class to draw people to her store in the summer. I would love to do that. That is a dream of mine. Finally something to do that I have a passion for. But, I can't do it if I move back in may. Maybe i'll move back later, but then I won't get the good job... WHERE IS MY LIFE GOING?! WHAT IS MY PURPOSE?! WHY AM I BREATHING?!
I want to move back to Nebraska in May. I want to get a job with jess and live happily up there with them. But, now that I don't have any money, I won't be able to do that. Also, Nadine from the cosmic cat wants me to create a class to draw people to her store in the summer. I would love to do that. That is a dream of mine. Finally something to do that I have a passion for. But, I can't do it if I move back in may. Maybe i'll move back later, but then I won't get the good job... WHERE IS MY LIFE GOING?! WHAT IS MY PURPOSE?! WHY AM I BREATHING?!