revelation
1 april 2005
mhh.
it just hit me today...that nothing, NOTHING is permanent.
Friends, family,the mind which man has so come to treasure....it will all be taken away.
And that its accepting this fact that will help me deal with the things life will take away .God is the sole permanence, the one true vine. He is the only thing, the alpha and omega, the beginning and the end, which will never , ever change.
There are the things i've lost, the things that i will find, and most IMPORTANTLY, the things that are lying here in my hands, firm in my grasp, which i now know i HAVE to value.
brief time, the wasted candle, set alight in the bright...
It's been a long time since i've written an entry of any consequence. That's what journals isn't it? To reflect and evaluate instead of merely reporting...what would the point be in that??That's what i've been doing too much lately....
What do you do , when you have something so so precious? do you guard it, and never let it go? Or do you let it free, to dive the depths and soar the skies? Exalt in the tumble, the torrent of it? you'd be happy, if for the moment...or do you plan, meticulously, miserly, cautiously....afraid. of barbs to protect that scare away.
It made me really sad.when i thought about it today....joanne and trish were eyeing me suspiciously while i folded my clothes in the corner. i felt. full. full of this empty emotion. that swirled and curled tightly in my chest. and i didn't have snything to say. cos everything was being sucked up in that vacuum. every good , bright happy bit of amelea, even the nromal neutral bits. which was ironical. there i was , wasting the time that could be spent with my friends. the haunting voice whispers..what would the point be in that?
then why not spend those times happy instead of being sucked inside out??
i'm not sounding coherent right now.... random thoughts and ideas are wandering around my head...and i'm not linking them together properly....
and after writing all that down. i'm left with this. gratefullness. that i'm here, and that i'm now. doesn't matter what's surrounding me, what i have or what i want. just the fact that i have the potential to loose and hold those promises...makes me grateful. and i thank you, my heavenly daddy. for this bestowed upn me.
Remember, while living each day as your last, the next day will be your first....swirled and twirld
mhh.
it just hit me today...that nothing, NOTHING is permanent.
Friends, family,the mind which man has so come to treasure....it will all be taken away.
And that its accepting this fact that will help me deal with the things life will take away .God is the sole permanence, the one true vine. He is the only thing, the alpha and omega, the beginning and the end, which will never , ever change.
There are the things i've lost, the things that i will find, and most IMPORTANTLY, the things that are lying here in my hands, firm in my grasp, which i now know i HAVE to value.
brief time, the wasted candle, set alight in the bright...
It's been a long time since i've written an entry of any consequence. That's what journals isn't it? To reflect and evaluate instead of merely reporting...what would the point be in that??That's what i've been doing too much lately....
What do you do , when you have something so so precious? do you guard it, and never let it go? Or do you let it free, to dive the depths and soar the skies? Exalt in the tumble, the torrent of it? you'd be happy, if for the moment...or do you plan, meticulously, miserly, cautiously....afraid. of barbs to protect that scare away.
It made me really sad.when i thought about it today....joanne and trish were eyeing me suspiciously while i folded my clothes in the corner. i felt. full. full of this empty emotion. that swirled and curled tightly in my chest. and i didn't have snything to say. cos everything was being sucked up in that vacuum. every good , bright happy bit of amelea, even the nromal neutral bits. which was ironical. there i was , wasting the time that could be spent with my friends. the haunting voice whispers..what would the point be in that?
then why not spend those times happy instead of being sucked inside out??
i'm not sounding coherent right now.... random thoughts and ideas are wandering around my head...and i'm not linking them together properly....
and after writing all that down. i'm left with this. gratefullness. that i'm here, and that i'm now. doesn't matter what's surrounding me, what i have or what i want. just the fact that i have the potential to loose and hold those promises...makes me grateful. and i thank you, my heavenly daddy. for this bestowed upn me.
Remember, while living each day as your last, the next day will be your first....swirled and twirld