(no subject)
I scream but no one hears me,i have been so lost and sad lately,and no one knows even if i tell people they dont grasp what im saying.I feel almost dead,i get so numb sometimes its almost bliss,but when i wake up and realize how i feel,i could cry my life away.It hurts so bad to be so alone in the world.I really lost him forever.I could never be enough for him to stop his childish lies,why am i not good enough?i could be the perfect girlfriend,jealous,but loving and caring.I feel so void.I feel so negative.I feel so much its insane.I just want to be loved and cherished,i want to be important.I want someone to hold me up when im falling.I want to die,i feel so hopeless,and desolate.I dont want words of encouragement,i feel so guilty and ashamed of myself.I am so messed up its horrible.I dont have anyone who truly loves or knows me.Why am i like this?Why dont i deserve happiness?I just want to fall asleep forever.Its nice to be able to write this out,and i know only one person ever reads this.I dont say this stuff for attention,i say it because im worried,i feel so close to giving up that i am scared.No one feels what i feel,or knows me and that to me is very sad.So many people in this world,and the one or two people that knew and loved me are gone,in one way or the other.Fuck my life.I need a change or a bullet to the brain.Its always over,it never begins,its always just the end for me.