I'm watching you as you read this.
You can beg for guidance from above all you like but at the end of the day all the decisions and (rarely) the clarity that comes when their made has to come from within yourself. They may be hard and take a long time to make, to face up to but thats all there is. I knew this, i did, but hey self deception can be fun at times. Thought there may be some way out of it this time.
Haven't felt this fragile and unsure since the start of sixth form. All that's happened, all i've learnt since then.....may as well have never happened. Shit has come full circle. Well not in all aspects i guess; i do seem to be much clearer on some stuff than normal. Stuff which should be common sense to anyone but it's taken me a long time to reach it.
Why was i never fully comfortable with the all-black thing? Because the clothes made me highly conspicuous and i've always loved my anonymity, the ability to blend in to a crowd and thus be able to watch everyone else. Would have been more help back then before i bought my New Rocks and saved 100 quid. Plus some of the buxton lot were uptight wankers at times. Still be nice to see Loz, Meek and Aedan in few weeks tho. Wonder how Aedans doing in particular now he seems to have permenantly lost Ali.....although i think time will tell on that score.
Haven't felt this fragile and unsure since the start of sixth form. All that's happened, all i've learnt since then.....may as well have never happened. Shit has come full circle. Well not in all aspects i guess; i do seem to be much clearer on some stuff than normal. Stuff which should be common sense to anyone but it's taken me a long time to reach it.
Why was i never fully comfortable with the all-black thing? Because the clothes made me highly conspicuous and i've always loved my anonymity, the ability to blend in to a crowd and thus be able to watch everyone else. Would have been more help back then before i bought my New Rocks and saved 100 quid. Plus some of the buxton lot were uptight wankers at times. Still be nice to see Loz, Meek and Aedan in few weeks tho. Wonder how Aedans doing in particular now he seems to have permenantly lost Ali.....although i think time will tell on that score.