Does everyone get what they deserve?........UNABLE TO DETERMINE ( Read more... )

I feel so cold. Everything seems distant and disconnnected and hollow. I don't know what to do, i can still joke, talk, work out and make observations but they all seem far away.

Some things never seem to change you know......whether your getting drunk or constantly sober, out with mates or in on the computer maybe your just not meant to be at peace. Ever. With anything. Food turned to ash in our mouths. Im choking on ash and dust of my own making. So many thoughts in my head can't hear one above the din of the rest. Feel ( Read more... )

Most days of every week i either wake up angry or depressed. It's the anger one that gets me though. I set some (admittedly simple) aims at Xmas for the coming term. Go to lectures/make a good job of library project, always turn up at anime, and get wasted as often as possible. In all respects i pretty much succeeded: work wise it went pretty well ( Read more... )

It's something thicker than friendship, thicker than blood. I have no idea how to define it but whatever happens it will be there, throught hell or high water ( Read more... )

Have made it up with mum but now she sounds really depressed on the phone when i talk to her, kathleen isn't talking to her again and now she's saying noboby loves her. Personally i just think she's needs something to occupy her mind but she doesn't seem interested in whatever i suggest. I just wish i knew what to do or to say to make her feel ( Read more... )

Most people don't want you for who you are, only for who they can turn you into. I guess we're more alike than i thought: the only time i can relax whether it be socialising, getting drunk or just sitting around watching a movie is when i feel i've really earnt it. When i've been working, either mentally or physically very hard for a long time.

Maybe there is one thing that you always overlook: yourself. Friends can go, they can take everything with them, the memories, the laughs you shared or just their conforting presence but they can't take you away a part of you certainly but not your essence. The ability to rise up and start everything again. It may be the hardest thing in the world ( Read more... )

Guess the real question is why? Why was i so easily tossed aside? Why does everything hurt as sharply as it ever did? Normally it would have dulled by now but it hasn't and i've got no idea of the reason. When you realize you would get down on your knees and beg just to take the pain away, forgetting all the reasons for it, thats when it dawns on ( Read more... )

Ugh, revision is kinda wiping out my mind at the mo. I really love organic chem when i get into it but its still bloody hard to learn, well scratch that it isn't that hard to learn but there is fucking tons of it ( Read more... )