[Ficlet]
Player: misheard
Subject: Issei Ryudo (+Kaito, OC)
Table: A
Prompt: 30. Writer's Choice (stalker)
Notes: Done with my second table~
"Problems, Kaito?" Issei asked, leaning over Kaito's shoulder.
Kaito sighed, and dug out some scraps of paper from his pockets. "I found these at my last few heists, near the gems."
Issei examined them. "These are... love notes. S-some quite explicit. I believe you have gained a secret admirer... or a stalker, as the case may be."
"I thought so too, but look more carefully at the handwriting. Some of the characters dip below the others. This handwriting seems like it belongs to a man." Kaito sighed again. "If it were just a fangirl admiring me, it would be harmless - if creepy, but who knows what a guy might be up to?"
Issei paused, before snapping, "I'm standing right here."
"It could just be someone admiring me anyway," Kaito added quickly.
"Well, there's a simple way of finding out. If he's truly devoted, he would want to check to see if you've taken his notes, would he not? Leave him a note in the same location agreeing to see him in a secluded spot at some future time. You can interrogate him as you like once you lure him into the open." Issei nodded to himself. "Yes, that would be an efficient way of going about things."
"I like your plan except for the part that involves me being alone with a man who wants to sleep with me," Kaito replied.
Issei opened his mouth.
"You don't count."
"Actually, I was going to suggest... why not let me do it?" Issei asked.
Kaito blinked. "Huh?"
The next heist had gone perfectly, and Issei was lucky to be able to see it. He had a few days afterwards to prepare for his role.
Decked up in his hat, suit, latex mask, and voice changer, he waited on the top of a cliff at the appointed time. Idly, he wondered if this mystery guest would even show. It didn't matter if he did or not. He still got to dress up as Kaitou Kid, with Kid himself assisting him! Apparently the only reason Kaito agreed to the plan was because he always wondered if he could pull it off successfully.
A rustle in the bushes snapped him out of his thoughts. A man not much older than him, rather nondescript, peered at him from behind a tree.
Time to go to work. "Good evening." Good, the voice changer was working properly. He couldn't naturally mimic the pitch of Kid's voice, much as he would love to be able to.
"K-Kid-sama..."
Did he get that awed tone when he spoke to Kid, too? Issei watched the man come out into the open. "I don't believe I caught your name."
"Yuuto. Tanaka Yuuto." He took another few steps. "Kid-sama, is it really you?"
Issei ignored the question, since he wasn't much of a liar. "You've been chasing after me for a while. By now, you should know that I'm not easily caught." That sounded like Kid, right?
Yuuto came as close as was polite. "But you came here."
"I thought it would be discourteous to ignore your affection." Remarkably, Issei managed to keep himself from stammering. This person wanted to... to... He couldn't even say it, not when Kaitou Kid was the subject. Better to crush this person's hopes now. "That does not mean I return it."
Seeing the look on Yuuto's face, Issei would have felt sorry for him were it not for the fact that he was an obsessed stalker bent on molesting his Kid. "B-but Kid-sama..."
A breath to steel himself. "My heart is promised to another, and so I cannot consider-" He caught movement in his vision. After a brief tussle, Issei had Yuuto's arms pinned behind his back. "Tanaka-san. It's rude to assault someone else after being turned down."
"I wasn't-"
"You have a handkerchief in your hand; I can only presume the worst about where it's been." Chloroform, probably. An old classic of crazy stalkers. It was time to end this charade, since he probably couldn't keep it up much longer anyway. "That was one of the reasons why Kid didn't wholeheartedly want me to come here."
Yuuto blinked, then scowled. "You're not Kid-sama."
"Not in the slightest. Congratulations!" Issei smiled brightly, before it twisted into a smirk. "You really thought your obsession would respond well to disturbingly personal messages, did you? I can't stand people like you, who are willing to do anything to the people they supposedly love."
"I was just-"
"As a man who truly does care for him - and as the only man who will ever kiss him, no matter how much you try - I have an obligation to put you in your place." Issei's smirk widened. "At the moment, my goal is to hurt you enough that you never want to bother Kid again and that I can get to my way home without you following, but not enough that you would need medical treatment before you could get down to the bottom of this cliff. Shall we begin?"
"I don't think he'll be bothering you any longer." Issei handed back the voice changer and the hat. "The hair dye comes out in the shower, doesn't it?"
"Always has for me. Well, I never had to use black..." Kaito breathed a sigh of relief. "Was he creepier in person? Because he was already pretty creepy."
"He tried to knock me out," Issei replied, peeling off his mask. "But he wasn't an imposing figure physically. Perhaps about the same."
"...This was still probably a bad idea," Kaito told him, frowning. "Just so you know."
"I know," Issei answered with a bright smile. "But I would do anything to help you - not to mention, being allowed to impersonate you is its own reward."
Kaito sighed. "You're hopeless, Issei."
Issei grabbed the hat again and put it back on. "Ladies and gentlemen~!"
Subject: Issei Ryudo (+Kaito, OC)
Table: A
Prompt: 30. Writer's Choice (stalker)
Notes: Done with my second table~
"Problems, Kaito?" Issei asked, leaning over Kaito's shoulder.
Kaito sighed, and dug out some scraps of paper from his pockets. "I found these at my last few heists, near the gems."
Issei examined them. "These are... love notes. S-some quite explicit. I believe you have gained a secret admirer... or a stalker, as the case may be."
"I thought so too, but look more carefully at the handwriting. Some of the characters dip below the others. This handwriting seems like it belongs to a man." Kaito sighed again. "If it were just a fangirl admiring me, it would be harmless - if creepy, but who knows what a guy might be up to?"
Issei paused, before snapping, "I'm standing right here."
"It could just be someone admiring me anyway," Kaito added quickly.
"Well, there's a simple way of finding out. If he's truly devoted, he would want to check to see if you've taken his notes, would he not? Leave him a note in the same location agreeing to see him in a secluded spot at some future time. You can interrogate him as you like once you lure him into the open." Issei nodded to himself. "Yes, that would be an efficient way of going about things."
"I like your plan except for the part that involves me being alone with a man who wants to sleep with me," Kaito replied.
Issei opened his mouth.
"You don't count."
"Actually, I was going to suggest... why not let me do it?" Issei asked.
Kaito blinked. "Huh?"
The next heist had gone perfectly, and Issei was lucky to be able to see it. He had a few days afterwards to prepare for his role.
Decked up in his hat, suit, latex mask, and voice changer, he waited on the top of a cliff at the appointed time. Idly, he wondered if this mystery guest would even show. It didn't matter if he did or not. He still got to dress up as Kaitou Kid, with Kid himself assisting him! Apparently the only reason Kaito agreed to the plan was because he always wondered if he could pull it off successfully.
A rustle in the bushes snapped him out of his thoughts. A man not much older than him, rather nondescript, peered at him from behind a tree.
Time to go to work. "Good evening." Good, the voice changer was working properly. He couldn't naturally mimic the pitch of Kid's voice, much as he would love to be able to.
"K-Kid-sama..."
Did he get that awed tone when he spoke to Kid, too? Issei watched the man come out into the open. "I don't believe I caught your name."
"Yuuto. Tanaka Yuuto." He took another few steps. "Kid-sama, is it really you?"
Issei ignored the question, since he wasn't much of a liar. "You've been chasing after me for a while. By now, you should know that I'm not easily caught." That sounded like Kid, right?
Yuuto came as close as was polite. "But you came here."
"I thought it would be discourteous to ignore your affection." Remarkably, Issei managed to keep himself from stammering. This person wanted to... to... He couldn't even say it, not when Kaitou Kid was the subject. Better to crush this person's hopes now. "That does not mean I return it."
Seeing the look on Yuuto's face, Issei would have felt sorry for him were it not for the fact that he was an obsessed stalker bent on molesting his Kid. "B-but Kid-sama..."
A breath to steel himself. "My heart is promised to another, and so I cannot consider-" He caught movement in his vision. After a brief tussle, Issei had Yuuto's arms pinned behind his back. "Tanaka-san. It's rude to assault someone else after being turned down."
"I wasn't-"
"You have a handkerchief in your hand; I can only presume the worst about where it's been." Chloroform, probably. An old classic of crazy stalkers. It was time to end this charade, since he probably couldn't keep it up much longer anyway. "That was one of the reasons why Kid didn't wholeheartedly want me to come here."
Yuuto blinked, then scowled. "You're not Kid-sama."
"Not in the slightest. Congratulations!" Issei smiled brightly, before it twisted into a smirk. "You really thought your obsession would respond well to disturbingly personal messages, did you? I can't stand people like you, who are willing to do anything to the people they supposedly love."
"I was just-"
"As a man who truly does care for him - and as the only man who will ever kiss him, no matter how much you try - I have an obligation to put you in your place." Issei's smirk widened. "At the moment, my goal is to hurt you enough that you never want to bother Kid again and that I can get to my way home without you following, but not enough that you would need medical treatment before you could get down to the bottom of this cliff. Shall we begin?"
"I don't think he'll be bothering you any longer." Issei handed back the voice changer and the hat. "The hair dye comes out in the shower, doesn't it?"
"Always has for me. Well, I never had to use black..." Kaito breathed a sigh of relief. "Was he creepier in person? Because he was already pretty creepy."
"He tried to knock me out," Issei replied, peeling off his mask. "But he wasn't an imposing figure physically. Perhaps about the same."
"...This was still probably a bad idea," Kaito told him, frowning. "Just so you know."
"I know," Issei answered with a bright smile. "But I would do anything to help you - not to mention, being allowed to impersonate you is its own reward."
Kaito sighed. "You're hopeless, Issei."
Issei grabbed the hat again and put it back on. "Ladies and gentlemen~!"