Spring-Like Day
I feel overwhelmed. I'm not even sure why I feel that way. But I do. I just feel this invisible stress of making sure everything I do is right or good or perfect for my kids, my marriage and my life. Yet when I think about my life, what has it become? I feel like it has become so mundane that I cannot even describe it. There is nothing to really explain the mundane that is my life at the moment.
I'm not sure if I have to be creating a bucket list or be active every single day, but I want my life to have purpose. I just think I'm so found gone in terms of feeling completely lost, that I don't even know where to start. Where to go. What to do.
There is so much guilt and shame in being a mother. Especially when you are a stay at home mom. I just think you need to have it altogether. You need to have your kids outside all the time AND also just have them doing crafts or education every single minute. Not to mention that you should have also always have your house clean. I just feel like I cannot even compete.
Right now, I just feel lost and not belonging anywhere these days. I just don't even know where to begin to fix it all.