Just another day
Sometimes I wish I could just look a head in time to see if all that I'm doing is worthwhile. Have you ever wondered if all that you doing now ends up being a complete waste of time? And if that is the case, just be able to stop before you waste the time? I often wondered as I have been thinking about homeschooling my 4 1/2 year old. We have been doing a trial run of homeschooling with Masterbooks Pre-K and Kindergarten resources. We are getting better on a rhythm with doing it every day, but not every day is a great success. Sometimes he gets frustrated or I get frustrated. My son is very much like me in the stubborn and frustration department. People were not kidding about having kids and one of them being a mini-me of yourself. This kid is my mini-me. He is sensitive but very creative. So, sometimes we just get so fed up with each other that never ends well.
I wonder if I should just register him for public school. Or am I just giving up? I am definitely afraid of screwing him up, essentially by doing the home school thing. Many many people around here do homeschooling, so it's not completely hard to get advice or insight on the topic. I just am so petrified that I'm going to mess him up in life because I will be his teacher. How long would I be his teacher for too? That's another question because high school is such an important part of life in general. Granted I'm not talking about the proms or the cliques. When I was in high school, I hated it. I absolutely wish I could have been home schooled. But my mom would have nothing to do with that as being a working mom of five kids.
How do you know if you are going to waste your kids time? How am I going to know if I'm doing the right thing? I am so scared of it all, really. I am scared for him to be in school and getting picked on. Which I get could give a kid a thicker skin in dealing with it, but also am worried about his emotions, he is such a sensitive kid already at the tender age of four. I just want to be sure that I am doing the right decision.
I pray about it, I think about it. I talk to my husband about it. I just don't know what is the right thing. I would love to have that bonding experience with him and be able to really work on his strong points but also help harness those weaker moments with him. But I also want to be sure that I'm still his mom, his caring and loving mom.
I don't know if I will ever have an answer to all of this, I just have to have faith. In myself and most importantly in God and what he wants me to do for my children.