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Mar 31, 2006 19:49

kate posted a link to these fake public service announcements
and she's so right, the beer one is the BEST ONE, i mean, THE BEST ONE.
but coming in a close second would have to be the jellybean one, or the short stature one.. or even the foul one.  actually, the woman who talks about wedding invitations is quite good too.

the girl that does the lipstick one is not funny
she makes me want to hurt myself

driving home from icecream in the rain, its dark and everyones headlights are out to get me
who knew the roads were red
with big yellow posts growing out of them at alarming speeds
dont hit one of these posts, i mutter
because while it may be a hallucination in your mind
it may also be a real post
and you dont want to take that chance, do you?

cliff is cleaning himself in an especially loud manner
i think this is because i reprimanded him last night before bed
i said, cliff
you dont feel as sleek as i know you COULD feel
and i know this stems from you not bathing as much as you COULD be bathing
so, lets try to stay a little cleaner, hmm?
so tonight he is passive aggressively lashing out at me by scouring his little back with his abrasive little tongue in an obstructively NOISY way.

always use big huge mildly overreactionary words and always say a lot more than is entirely necessary
thats the dana way

no, dont listen to that of course.
because why would one use ones bodily natural auditory mechanisms when one could just use ones highly adapted and extremely strong mind and brain in the cranium of ones body?

ask yourself that.
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