Saboteur
Heidi emailed me a new job offer yesterday. It was for a file clerk position. I looked it over, felt reluctant because there is possibly some phone work involved, but I decided I would apply anyway and attached my resume like they asked. I emailed Heidi back that I applied for it even though I was reluctant. Next thing I know there's a message on the answer machine in response to my application. I was hoping I would just get an email back (stupid probably) so I froze. I couldn't call back. I just couldn't do it. I decided I will wait until Monday. Now I feel really bad about it because I should have just done it. Now I might have just blown this opportunity because I couldn't call. Then my mom made me feel worse when she said I was bad for not calling that lady back. :( *sigh* I know. I really messed up. What am I supposed to do with myself?
I know there's still a part of me that doesn't want a job because I don't want to change my routine. You get used to one thing for so long and you don't want to change it. But I have been able to adjust my routine and adapt before, so I know it can be done. My routine makes me feel peaceful I guess, and I would feel depressed if I didn't have enough time to follow my interests. Arghh. Well...also I would have more hours this time and get a higher wage, which should be a good thing, but I'm stressing over it.
Anyway, later I went on Twitter and got into a conversation with a lady (Fellow MJ fan obviously. 99% of my followers are.) She asked me about Asperger's because I have it in my bio on Twitter. She said she was wondering because she has a 10 year old son who's Autistic. So, I was telling her about myself, and hey maybe I might have helped her understand her son more. She asked me if I was getting a lot of support and I said my family supports me, and I told her about my job developer trying to get me a job. I even talked about the situation about the job opportunity, and not being able to call that lady. That was good because I was needing someone to talk to about it. It was a nice conversation. :)
In other news: I finished Angel Beats! last night. It was pretty good. A little bit unusual at times, but there was a lot of symbolism in the end. I liked the way it ended. After this I have another anime in mind, but first I'm going back to Disney shorts. Yes, I've been trying to watch as many of them as I can. I started with the Alice Comedies, and going year by year until I get to present day. Ok not present day because there aren't any shorts anymore and I heard Mickey turned to crap lol. I'm up to the year 1941. So, I watched all the shorts released in each year, and then when I'm done switch to a different obsession (like anime now or possibly something else). So, I'm gonna watch the shorts from 1941 & then when it gets to 1942, go back to an anime until I finish it, and switch off between the two things. But I'll probably not just do anime, I have other things in mind I want to watch like Carl Sagan's Cosmos & more episodes of Mystery Science Theater 3000 (I've already watched a bunch of episodes of that & I love it and want to get back to it.) I've been using this site to find out what the Disney shorts are btw, and looking them up on Youtube, which is awesome! http://www.disneyshorts.org/
I know that paragraph makes absolutely no sense whatsoever, but that's how I've been pursuing my obsessions for a while. The crazy switching back and forth. It sounds like a crazy system, but it works for me. I'm not even going to tell you how my system for reading books is. That one is even crazier lol. So yeah, but I never get bored this way. There's always going to be something in my life I'm obsessed with that takes up a lot of my time.
Now, my aunt Jenny, uncle Doug, cousin Derek, Rita (I think) and Grammy are coming over today because we're having this BBQ birthday party for Derek and Jenny? I think. They hardly ever come over here, and I'm so not in a social mood lately, so I hope Grammy doesn't bug me about it. Then, tomorrow is the Oscars! I'm rooting for The Artist. I loved that movie, but I don't really care what wins.
Sorry for the long rambly blog post.
I know there's still a part of me that doesn't want a job because I don't want to change my routine. You get used to one thing for so long and you don't want to change it. But I have been able to adjust my routine and adapt before, so I know it can be done. My routine makes me feel peaceful I guess, and I would feel depressed if I didn't have enough time to follow my interests. Arghh. Well...also I would have more hours this time and get a higher wage, which should be a good thing, but I'm stressing over it.
Anyway, later I went on Twitter and got into a conversation with a lady (Fellow MJ fan obviously. 99% of my followers are.) She asked me about Asperger's because I have it in my bio on Twitter. She said she was wondering because she has a 10 year old son who's Autistic. So, I was telling her about myself, and hey maybe I might have helped her understand her son more. She asked me if I was getting a lot of support and I said my family supports me, and I told her about my job developer trying to get me a job. I even talked about the situation about the job opportunity, and not being able to call that lady. That was good because I was needing someone to talk to about it. It was a nice conversation. :)
In other news: I finished Angel Beats! last night. It was pretty good. A little bit unusual at times, but there was a lot of symbolism in the end. I liked the way it ended. After this I have another anime in mind, but first I'm going back to Disney shorts. Yes, I've been trying to watch as many of them as I can. I started with the Alice Comedies, and going year by year until I get to present day. Ok not present day because there aren't any shorts anymore and I heard Mickey turned to crap lol. I'm up to the year 1941. So, I watched all the shorts released in each year, and then when I'm done switch to a different obsession (like anime now or possibly something else). So, I'm gonna watch the shorts from 1941 & then when it gets to 1942, go back to an anime until I finish it, and switch off between the two things. But I'll probably not just do anime, I have other things in mind I want to watch like Carl Sagan's Cosmos & more episodes of Mystery Science Theater 3000 (I've already watched a bunch of episodes of that & I love it and want to get back to it.) I've been using this site to find out what the Disney shorts are btw, and looking them up on Youtube, which is awesome! http://www.disneyshorts.org/
I know that paragraph makes absolutely no sense whatsoever, but that's how I've been pursuing my obsessions for a while. The crazy switching back and forth. It sounds like a crazy system, but it works for me. I'm not even going to tell you how my system for reading books is. That one is even crazier lol. So yeah, but I never get bored this way. There's always going to be something in my life I'm obsessed with that takes up a lot of my time.
Now, my aunt Jenny, uncle Doug, cousin Derek, Rita (I think) and Grammy are coming over today because we're having this BBQ birthday party for Derek and Jenny? I think. They hardly ever come over here, and I'm so not in a social mood lately, so I hope Grammy doesn't bug me about it. Then, tomorrow is the Oscars! I'm rooting for The Artist. I loved that movie, but I don't really care what wins.
Sorry for the long rambly blog post.