Been so busy lately
I miss writing lately. Seems like it's been so long...I have been so busy with meetings and goin out with fellow addicts. Trying to leave no time for myself to think and slip back into my old ways. Lots been goin on. My ex keeps asking me to go over and I keep tryin to hold strong saying no. I finally told him on tuesday night that I had to stop sleeping with him and might not even be able to have a friendship. or i'll never move on. He actually said to me that when he has sex with me he is only able to do it by being detached. I told him I don't need sex that bad to be with someone like that. It's ridiculous for me to even think of being with him. Yet I long for him so much. And then I got involved with someone in the NA meetings I go to and messed my friendship up with him and now it's gonna be a struggle to stay being friends with him. But I am very attracted to him and he's a sweetheart guy. But as I said things are not good between us cause he doesnt want a relationship with me or anyone for that matter and doesnt think I'm over my ex which ta ha i'm not. So last night a guy who I know is bad news in the meetings asked for my number and since I was in a bad mood I gave it to him. I don't know what I'm doing half the time. All I know is it feels like craziness. But that's me and hopefully in more time it will be less craziness. I feel like at least i've done one thing right by cutting my ex off. And on Sunday I will have 60 days so I am very grateful for that. And I got to go to Ohio this past weekend to see my aunt and cousins one of which is my god daughter. They are so beautiful and I got a bunch of pics I'll have to find a way to put them on my journal. I'm computer inept so we'll see how long that takes. Well thats it for now. Good night. Hope to write again soon.